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Worry about Labels when new baby arrives

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:43 AM
  • 50 Replies

I have a pretty good relationship with my SS16 and SD13. We all get along in our home its a pretty go with the flow atmosphere. Now my husband and I are wanting a child together. I worry about how the Skids will label the new edition. They label me their step mother and I am totally fine with that. The SS16 tends to quickly put that label in his mouth before I can get it out. It bothers me every now and then, but I understand, I never want him to feel that I am trying to take his BM place. I have always told them that from the beginning they know I am here to help guide them, love their father, and etc. The SD13 is all about calling me by my name or her SM.  Again that is fine, it don't bother me. I would rather them call me whatever is comfortable to them regardless to how it makes me feel. I have always went at their pace with things. Now when I get pregnant how do I approach the Skids labeling their bro/sis as half brother or half sister.  I really don't know how to approach this. What is everyone else's take on this? If you have been through it can you please tell me what worked with you?

I have my own thoughts but would like to get different aspects.

by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Do you see something wrong or negative about being 'labelled' the stepmother? How would you want them to label you?

mistyann00
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:48 AM

No in the above message I just said I didn't have a problem with them labeling me as SM. I am ok with that. I am talking about them labeling our new addition half brother or half sister. I used an example.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:51 AM
2 moms liked this

 well technically the baby is their half sibling. nothing wrong with that.

i had my skids half sibling. they were welcoming and adjusted pretty well.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:52 AM


Quoting mistyann00:

No in the above message I just said I didn't have a problem with them labeling me as SM. I am ok with that. I am talking about them labeling our new addition half brother or half sister. I used an example.

Ok, but won't the child be their half-sibling?

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

mistyann00
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Now this is just a question, I am curious cause I have never done this. Will the kids grow up to have a boundary between them? Will they end up later saying thats not my bro or sis cause they are half, will it cause an issue of feeling less than?

mistyann00
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:58 AM

Yes.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 12:08 PM

It depends on the relationship they develop over the years.

Quoting mistyann00:

Now this is just a question, I am curious cause I have never done this. Will the kids grow up to have a boundary between them? Will they end up later saying thats not my bro or sis cause they are half, will it cause an issue of feeling less than?


Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

DDDaysh
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 12:26 PM
2 moms liked this

I have never reinforced the "half" label with my son, and he prefers not to use it when referring to his siblings.  

However, if your step-kids do want to use it, you shouldn't be offended by that.  Your child will be their half-brother and that isn't a bad thing to be - just like being a step-mom isn't a bad thing to be.  

It's rather cumbersome to always say half-brother though, so I've found that most people don't tend to use it unless explaining specific familial dynamics.  Some people do though, and there's nothing wrong with that.  

DDDaysh
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 12:27 PM
2 moms liked this

Well, it is "less than" in the sense of biology.  

I think it's far more likely that the age gap will cause boundaries than the smaller percentage fo genetic material.  


Quoting mistyann00:

Now this is just a question, I am curious cause I have never done this. Will the kids grow up to have a boundary between them? Will they end up later saying thats not my bro or sis cause they are half, will it cause an issue of feeling less than?


skittleshawk
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 12:31 PM
Your obviously offended when they call you stepmom as you state in your post get over it.accept whatever the skids want to label the new addition as.
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