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I need advice...

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:31 PM
  • 25 Replies

My DH has custody of my SD16 but she lives with her mother (they get along sometumes and sometimes they don't) but here is my question. Her mother lives in government housing, has no job, barely takes care of SD as it is because her BF always comes first. DH thinks that she is okay with her mother as long as she has shelter and food (which I can agree with) but my SD texted me today to talk to me (which she does when she needs something important) but told me that she is pregnant by her boyfriend. He has a job with his stepdad making good money for part time and still in school. She is taking classes at her high school to get into the nursing program right after graduation. Am I wrong for wanting to bring her back with us even though she wants to be with her mother? I mean, her mother leaves for a couple of days at a time leaving her with no supervision (hence the opportunity to make the decision that she did) but her dad and I are still going to help her. I have raised her since she was 3 years old and she has been with her mom about a year. SD BF is a good kid (17 himself) and told her that he will be there and has so far. What do we do? Bring her home or let her be?

by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
heather77g
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:51 PM

oh no that's horrible that she is pregnant at such a young age. This one is an extremely tough decision as it's not really the SM decision where the SD/SS lives.   


What did her Mom and Dad say about her being pregnant? Do they even know as of yet?


OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:55 PM

 17 years is too young to have a child, she is still a child herself. Does anyone believe in abortion or adoption anymore?

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:57 PM
1 mom liked this

What would bringing her to your home do for her?  How would it improve her situation any? 

MojoRsn
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:57 PM

I am surprised you are not more upset about this girl being pregnant at 16!


MojoRsn
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:58 PM

Why oh why wasn't she on birth control?

RinseAndRepeat2
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Personally, I would bring her home.  She is going to need proper care and nutrition.  From what you said, she probably isn't getting that at her Mom's. 

Does she want to come home? 

charleyangel317
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 2:17 PM

 I don't know what her mom said but her dad said we needed to decide as a family what to do as far as where she lives. With my name on the custody papers too (to make decisions when he is not there) it is something that I am a part of.


Quoting heather77g:

oh no that's horrible that she is pregnant at such a young age. This one is an extremely tough decision as it's not really the SM decision where the SD/SS lives.   

 

What did her Mom and Dad say about her being pregnant? Do they even know as of yet?

 


 

Bertieb
by Bronze Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I agree with your husband.

heather77g
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 3:47 PM

i agree with your husband as well

mistyann00
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 4:31 PM

No you are not wrong by any means wanting her to come stay with you. Thats just motherly instinct to want the best for her. But you can not make her do something she dont want to do except support her, and thats why she came to you cause she knows that you will and she needs that from you all cause she is not getting it from her BM. I would give her the option, Let her know how it would be at your house. If she says I dont like that ask her if it is because she will have more freedom? If she says yes, then come to benefit you but benefit me conclusion. You can do this but this has to happen. Almost like meeting half way with one another let her know you just want the best but want to actually make sure she is getting the best she can get instead of worrying if you are getting the best during this time.

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