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SD and my husband

Posted by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 11:26 PM
  • 30 Replies
My husband has a daughter from a one night stand 18 years ago.
She just recently got immigration to approve her living with us.
I basically addopted her as he's not on the birth certificate.

Well she's been here since june. He bought her a laptop and iPhone. She's on
Skype and Facebook 24/7. She's failing all her classes at high school.
She has the brain of a 15 year old but she's 18!
At this rate she will be in highschool forever.

She's classified as an 11th grader at the high school.

Today I asked her to do the dishes she cried, he came home bought her a new iPhone.
He told her I was rude to her. If he thinks I was rude he should tell me alone not in front of her.
Now everything I say she's not going to listen to or she will cry and he will buy her something.

She's failing every single class at school. I feel we should take away iPhone and computer until the grades are up.
by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 11:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Omd12
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:17 AM
Bump
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petie1104
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:23 AM
2 moms liked this
Your husband may be trying to compensate for missing out all those years.

Are you three in counseling? That is a huge adjustment for everyone and it may help.
Omd12
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:35 AM
He will never go to see a counselor. We have 2 kids together too. Which complicates it even more. He will never talk outside of our family about anything.


Quoting petie1104:

Your husband may be trying to compensate for missing out all those years.



Are you three in counseling? That is a huge adjustment for everyone and it may help.

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AirForceWife13
by Bronze Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:40 AM
Well if it makes you feel better my dh has an 18yo that is in the 10th grade AGAIN. Who knows when or if he will pass. Hes considering dropping out at this point. Seems like dad is trying not to be the bad guy since he just had her full time now. Sit down with him to find out why hes acting that way. Does he act like that towards the kids you have together?
Omd12
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:42 AM
Kids we have together he's struck with. He lets her do what ever she wants.


Quoting AirForceWife13:

Well if it makes you feel better my dh has an 18yo that is in the 10th grade AGAIN. Who knows when or if he will pass. Hes considering dropping out at this point. Seems like dad is trying not to be the bad guy since he just had her full time now. Sit down with him to find out why hes acting that way. Does he act like that towards the kids you have together?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AirForceWife13
by Bronze Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:45 AM
Then there is obvious a reason as to why. You just need to figure it out whaf it is and find a solution. Maybe sign up for parenting classes and start going, maybe he will go with you.


Quoting Omd12:

Kids we have together he's struck with. He lets her do what ever she wants.




Quoting AirForceWife13:

Well if it makes you feel better my dh has an 18yo that is in the 10th grade AGAIN. Who knows when or if he will pass. Hes considering dropping out at this point. Seems like dad is trying not to be the bad guy since he just had her full time now. Sit down with him to find out why hes acting that way. Does he act like that towards the kids you have together?


Omd12
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 7:24 AM
Sorry the kids we have together her is strict with. They have rules, must behave in school and actually do school work.


Quoting AirForceWife13:

Then there is obvious a reason as to why. You just need to figure it out whaf it is and find a solution. Maybe sign up for parenting classes and start going, maybe he will go with you.




Quoting Omd12:

Kids we have together he's struck with. He lets her do what ever she wants.






Quoting AirForceWife13:

Well if it makes you feel better my dh has an 18yo that is in the 10th grade AGAIN. Who knows when or if he will pass. Hes considering dropping out at this point. Seems like dad is trying not to be the bad guy since he just had her full time now. Sit down with him to find out why hes acting that way. Does he act like that towards the kids you have together?



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jnbish00
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 1:28 PM
Maybe take her phone away and enroll her in tutoring, until you see an improvement?
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 1:37 PM
4 moms liked this
Don't worry about her failing classes.
Don't wash her dishes, don't clean after her, leave all the parenting and discipline to your husband.
Take care of your kids. I am afraid you soon will have a bigger problem in your hands - your kids will resent their father for treating them unfairly.
You see kids, don't take in count "guilty parenting", they will think, their dad love them less than her, any child would feel anger and jelousy in such situation.
I would worry about that more than about her being in Facebook or failing classes.


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zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 1:52 PM

This and did you say something about immigration? Is this a new mom, dad and country for this poor girl? She is proper sly having adjustment issues because of so many changes. I suggest yo try getting her some counseling. Good luck


Quoting petie1104:

Your husband may be trying to compensate for missing out all those years.

Are you three in counseling? That is a huge adjustment for everyone and it may help.



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