Here is a little background.. My husband and I have been together for three years, last June we moved to be closer to his daughter (now 9). The first year has been a little rough adjusting to our new life. I also have an 8 year old son, and my husband and I have a 11 month old daughter. I have been trying to work on things with my husbands help and have had no luck. My SD is very possessive of her father and his attention. I understand she is still adjusting to the divorce of her parents 4-5 years ago and is upset.
Recently it has taken a whole new level. In the beginning I would often watch SD for her mother while my husband was out of town, no big deal. I started working a few months ago so that no longer happens, plus SD and her mom moved 300 miles away to Texas. My SD has always been well behaved at school, never getting into trouble and doing her work. This past week she threathen to stab a little girl with a piece of glass because that girl would not let her help fix her scooter. When her mother asked why she did it she said she just gets really mad that her parents aren't together (understandable, not excusable) and that I am mean to her when her dad isn't around. I am honestly pretty hurt by this, and my husband and I know it isn't true. I go out of my way to make sure she is included in everything, whether it be wanting to go grocery shopping or whatever.
Here is where I need the advice, I am to the point where I do not want to be left alone with her at all. If I am going to get groceries and wants to go she cannot. I know that may sound kind of harsh but that is a privelge not a right, and I am worried about what other things she may say in the future. I have also talked with my husband about setting her down and speaking with her about. Just to let her know that I know what she had said about me and ask her why she would say that. I have been reading some stepfamily books but have not come across this in any of them..! I just feel that she should be aware of what goes on, that my husband and I do communicate about everything and lying is unacceptable behavior. ..AGH HELP!