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When you're ill, or when they are ill... ?

Posted by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:22 PM
Amy
  • 38 Replies

Do the step kids come to your home when you are sick?  What about when they are sick?

by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:31 PM
1 mom liked this

SD lives here full time. But, BM will cancel visits if she is sick. 2 weeks ago BM cancelled because she had pink eye (although, she had been on medication for 2-3 days and was no longer contagious, but whatever). If SD had the flu or something like that DH would probably re-schedule with BM.

For normal colds and whatnot, DH wouldn't try to reschedule a visit with BM.

When DH was NCP he never cancelled or re-scheduled a visit due to being sick. However, we didn't always know when SD was sick. She came home once with the flu, and we didn't find out until we were about 10 minutes from home and SD barfed all over the back seat... 

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:37 PM
If my child is sick or I am sick, I am still a parent and I take care of my child. Dad's should still take care of their kids too. However I can understand the argument that some don't like to spread illness from one house to the next. The problem with that is if kid gets sick at the NCP home, they are still going to be sent home to the CP to infect that house. So why would it be different for an NCP to take care of their sick child? I think both parents should be active in caring for sick children - it should not fall on just one parent to be the only parent that cares for a sick kiddo. Lots of bonding happens when kids are sick. I love to take care of my sick kids because I get to have one more opportunity in life to show them how devoted and unconditional my love is.

When a parent is sick, wouldn't it be cool for the other parent to step in and take the kids? That way the kid is not sitting at home bored while their parent is trying to get better. When I am sick my parents help out because I can get better faster with help.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:40 PM
My ex always cancels too. He's scared of dd when she is sick or something. Nothing like letting her know he doesn't want her germs lol the way I look at it is my daughter will always know she is welcome whether she is sick or not .. I will always be here to be her mommy regardless of any funk she may be trying to spread around.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

SD lives here full time. But, BM will cancel visits if she is sick. 2 weeks ago BM cancelled because she had pink eye (although, she had been on medication for 2-3 days and was no longer contagious, but whatever). If SD had the flu or something like that DH would probably re-schedule with BM.

For normal colds and whatnot, DH wouldn't try to reschedule a visit with BM.

When DH was NCP he never cancelled or re-scheduled a visit due to being sick. However, we didn't always know when SD was sick. She came home once with the flu, and we didn't find out until we were about 10 minutes from home and SD barfed all over the back seat... 


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progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Sickness happens. We're just as capable of taking care of SS as BM and SF. In fact, I have a free schedule when we have SS. Since BM has to take off work when SS is sick, it's preferable to send him to me. Nobody loses out on money and SS is still taken care of.

Now if SS was so miserable, or too sick to switch houses, we'd work something out.
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 1:59 PM

yes and yes because sharing is caring!

The only times they don't come over is when DD9 has strep throat/pink eye which she gets 2-3x a year.

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM

 I keep the kids home with me when they are sick and as the primary care giver I also don't ship them off when I am sick.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:19 PM

My husband and I are parents 24/7, sick or not, to our custodial children, the same would go for BM as CP to SS.

destinyangl21
by Bronze Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 2:57 PM

The kids have come here numerous times when they were/are sick.

BM will text DH what medicine she's been giving them, we stock up and take care of them.

The middle of the night sicknesses are the worst though. Lol. I can't count how many times they've woken me up only to throw up on me.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Sep. 22, 2013 at 3:02 PM

That's my theory. This is SD's home regardless of whether or not she has germs.

And honestly, I prefer SD here as opposed to BM's house when she's sick. We take proper care of her, and BM has to call DH and I to get SD to be willing to even drink something when she's sick there. Then there's the time BM fed SD clam chowder when she had the flu (that's the previous mentioned barf in the back seat story), or the time SD was getting over a REALLY nasty stomach bug and BM fed her meat lovers pizza and then sent her home to us... That was awesome too. 


Quoting momof2ex1:

My ex always cancels too. He's scared of dd when she is sick or something. Nothing like letting her know he doesn't want her germs lol the way I look at it is my daughter will always know she is welcome whether she is sick or not .. I will always be here to be her mommy regardless of any funk she may be trying to spread around.


Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

SD lives here full time. But, BM will cancel visits if she is sick. 2 weeks ago BM cancelled because she had pink eye (although, she had been on medication for 2-3 days and was no longer contagious, but whatever). If SD had the flu or something like that DH would probably re-schedule with BM.

For normal colds and whatnot, DH wouldn't try to reschedule a visit with BM.

When DH was NCP he never cancelled or re-scheduled a visit due to being sick. However, we didn't always know when SD was sick. She came home once with the flu, and we didn't find out until we were about 10 minutes from home and SD barfed all over the back seat... 




looneytunes290
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 3:27 PM
I think it depends on the situation- bm liked to dump her sick kids on us so she didn't have to deal with them. I remember once when sd was 12 she had STAFF- I had three smaller kids and a BABY! And guess who ended up tending the nasty stuff and keeping her household from getting it too- ugh- in a normal joint custody situation then I get both parents having equal responsibility but - if you are custodial I think that you should offer to keep your sick kid at home. If dh or sm want to take care if them okay- but- we ended up taking care of illnesses that were caused by uncleanliness and neglect.
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