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Great weekend and big decisions....

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 10:17 AM
  • 22 Replies

Had skids this weekend. The weekend was great and it went by way to fast. YSS was a little sick but he Iet me baby him and he quickly got over it.

Drop off was at 5 last night. DH was literally pulling into the restaurant where they meet at 5:00pm and BM had already text DH 3 times asking him where he was. The texts were received on his phone at 4:59 and two of them at 5:00pm. She then called as he pulling up right next to her car.

Anyways, on the way home DH told me he had talked to some people at the kids school on Thursday when he picked them up. He talked to their counselor and then he talked to their football coach. He actually had a really good talk with the counselor about the kids grades and how she noticed that they had always been basically straight A students and then last year she said they started going down and they are continuing to go down. DH told her that he is trying to do what he can by keeping in touch with the teachers and talking to the kids about their grades but he feels limited to how much he can do. She said she understood and she told him that she thought it was great what he is trying to do and that she will try to call parents that live 5 minutes away and can never get a hold of them but DH lives 7 hours away and he is in more contact the school. DH said that out of the blue the counselor asked him when he was going to get custody. He said he didn't expect that comment and he told her that he didn't have any plans to try too. I guess the same thing happened when talking to the football coach about the kids grades. He asked DH when he was going to get custody.

So, this has DH thinking. He wants to get back closer to the kids. Of course we both would love to be back in that area. Both our families are in that general area as well. It is a big decision for us to move again. DH came down to this area to open this business he is running and he has put a lot of time into it the past year and a half to get it running and to be successful. I told him that this was his decision because it didn't matter to me either way. It is a little sad because I have become so involved with our church and my homeschool group but if we get back to that area I will have all my old friends right there and my family much closer.

DH has no plans to fight for custody at this point he hopes to be closer so that maybe the kids can turn their grades around with him being closer. Until we are able to move, because it could take a little while before we can move, he is going to continue what he is doing. Constant contact with the school, trying to get BM to parent with him (she has avoided talking to him about the grade thing) and keeping up with the kids as much as possible.

by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mistyann00
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 10:22 AM

Kudos to dad, I have dad keep trying to get BM to join in with him. At least you can say you tried. 

momluvsgg
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 12:59 PM

If I may ask, does your husband have partial custody? Do you think the counselor and coach were implying that he should try to get full custody? That's a big compliment to him for them to ask that, and it does sound like you all have big decisions to make. He's blessed to have such a supportive wife in you!

stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this

He has joint physical/legal. Yes both parties were implying he should try to get full custody. I have always told him I would follow him to the moon and back as long as he was happy. I can make a home anywhere.


Quoting momluvsgg:

If I may ask, does your husband have partial custody? Do you think the counselor and coach were implying that he should try to get full custody? That's a big compliment to him for them to ask that, and it does sound like you all have big decisions to make. He's blessed to have such a supportive wife in you!



kim8934
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:12 PM

I find it hard to believe that complete strangers told your husband to fight for full custody...but that's me.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:18 PM
I am so glad to hear this. Maybe dad being more involved will help them with this hump they have with their grades.
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stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:29 PM

I guess you can not believe it. DH has been in contact with the counselor since the beginning of the school year. He has known the football coach for several years because he has been the kids PE teacher for a long time. The counselor he didn't know because she is new. I can't prove to you anything.


Quoting kim8934:

I find it hard to believe that complete strangers told your husband to fight for full custody...but that's me.



stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:31 PM

That is what DH hopes for.


Quoting momof2ex1:

I am so glad to hear this. Maybe dad being more involved will help them with this hump they have with their grades.



Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 2:35 PM

I don't recall the rest of the story, but simply getting poor grades isn't likely to be grounds for a change of custody.  Even with several other components, my best girlfriend and her husband spent tens of thousands on legal fees, experts, etc and in some places, mom basically has to be in jail before Dad is going to get full custody out of the area.

What else is going on?  

stepmommy2
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 2:41 PM

Like I said, it isn't DH's plan to fight for custody. It was those two comments that made him realize he needed to be back closer to them. The only other thing going on is that BM doesn't like to communicate with DH but I know that isn't ground-breaking or anything. My opinion is a lot of stuff would have to happen for custody to be changed. I am pretty sure he is aware of that right now his goal is just to get closer to them.


Quoting Birdseed:

I don't recall the rest of the story, but simply getting poor grades isn't likely to be grounds for a change of custody.  Even with several other components, my best girlfriend and her husband spent tens of thousands on legal fees, experts, etc and in some places, mom basically has to be in jail before Dad is going to get full custody out of the area.

What else is going on?  



Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Skype/facetime is a great tool for us.  Since we moved 10 hours away, DH spends time each night with the kids on one of those platforms chatting, going over homework, etc.  A lot of times, BM is gone in the evenings and the kids aren't always in gear with the homework.

Yesterday for example, the kids were home alone and it was about 8:30 when DH got online w/ them and they went through the checklist for Monday.  

Maybe your husband can be more directly involved that way?

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