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is baby mama still in love with him

Posted by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 12:29 PM
  • 44 Replies
My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months, he has twin 7 yr old boys, I have a 10 yr old son. He has been separated from his bm for 6 years, but this past weekend he said she called him to confess that she had been sleeping with his best friend when they were married, and that's what drove her away from him. He said she felt guilty and had to get it off her chest. I feel like this is the kind of conversation they should have had many years ago. Why would she tell him now? What difference does it make now if she cheated or feels guilty. I feel like she might be trying to get him to forgive her and get him back! Am I nuts?
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 12:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DDDaysh
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 12:37 PM
2 moms liked this

If you think the "baby mama" is still after your man, then you probably just love the drama and are a little nuts.  

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 12:43 PM
7 moms liked this

So many things.  So.many.thing.

1.  Baby Mama is offensive.  It makes it sound like you are jealous and trying to downplay the role that she plays in her children's lives.  As if she is not their MOM and did nothing but give birth to them. 

2.  There was nothing you stated in your entire post that gave indication of BM being in love with your boyfriend.  Nothing at all.

3.  I think she might be looking for forgiveness, as well.  But not necessarily to get him back.  Maybe she really DOES feel guilty.  Maybe she really DID feel the need to get that off her chest.  Maybe, just maybe, she's grown since then and wants to get on with her life without carrying that around?

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:06 PM


she might be looking for closure.

Quoting AmericanDream:

3.  I think she might be looking for forgiveness, as well.  But not necessarily to get him back.  Maybe she really DOES feel guilty.  Maybe she really DID feel the need to get that off her chest.  Maybe, just maybe, she's grown since then and wants to get on with her life without carrying that around?



WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:07 PM
2 moms liked this

Well, it is all about the penis for the "baby mamas"

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:09 PM
2 moms liked this

My first serious boyfriend, and by serious I mean SERIOUS (we were together all through high school and college) eventually cheated on me and broke up with me in a very poor manner.  YEARS later - I mean YEARS - I was living out of state with my new boyfriend and he went thhrough the trouble of tracking me down to simply apologize to me for the manner in which he treated me.  This did not indicate he wanted me back, he simply wanted to make things right with me.  I apperciated that, we are great friends to this day.  

That is probably all BM was doing.  Clearing the air, in order to have things in future be better between them as they parent their off spring.  There is nothing wrong with that and it takes a very big person to admit their transgressions.

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Exactly what I was going for.

I know that if I cheated on my husband and then we split... I'd feel guilty as hell.  And, then, say, I wanted to get on with my life and be happy?  I'd probably have a very similar conversation.  

I mean, isn't one of the steps in AA contacting people you hurt because of your bad decisions and apologizing?  There's something to be said for coming clean and making amends.  It does the soul good.

And, I don't know the whole sitch with OP, but I can't imagine that conversation had been an easy one for BM.

Quoting whatIknownow:


she might be looking for closure.

Quoting AmericanDream:

3.  I think she might be looking for forgiveness, as well.  But not necessarily to get him back.  Maybe she really DOES feel guilty.  Maybe she really DID feel the need to get that off her chest.  Maybe, just maybe, she's grown since then and wants to get on with her life without carrying that around?




LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting WifeyC:

Well, it is all about the penis for the "baby mamas"

Damn it I just choked!!!!  LMAO  

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:24 PM

I had a very similar thing happen.

The actual truth and an honest "I'm sorry" can go a long way.

Sometimes, even more so for the person doing the confessing.

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

My first serious boyfriend, and by serious I mean SERIOUS (we were together all through high school and college) eventually cheated on me and broke up with me in a very poor manner.  YEARS later - I mean YEARS - I was living out of state with my new boyfriend and he went thhrough the trouble of tracking me down to simply apologize to me for the manner in which he treated me.  This did not indicate he wanted me back, he simply wanted to make things right with me.  I apperciated that, we are great friends to this day.  

That is probably all BM was doing.  Clearing the air, in order to have things in future be better between them as they parent their off spring.  There is nothing wrong with that and it takes a very big person to admit their transgressions.


LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Sep. 24, 2013 at 1:52 PM

To be honest, he carried more emotional torment through the years than I did, I had let it go.  I did not carry around that hurt with me.  However, he was less than thrilled by the manner in which he thought I might think of him, and wanted to course correct.  We were friends prior to our romatic relationship, I am pleased we are friends now.  He is a delightful person, and while that may not have been his most shining moment, HE required my forgiveness - I did not require his explaination.  

Quoting AmericanDream:

I had a very similar thing happen.

The actual truth and an honest "I'm sorry" can go a long way.

Sometimes, even more so for the person doing the confessing.

Quoting LyndaLoo78:

My first serious boyfriend, and by serious I mean SERIOUS (we were together all through high school and college) eventually cheated on me and broke up with me in a very poor manner.  YEARS later - I mean YEARS - I was living out of state with my new boyfriend and he went thhrough the trouble of tracking me down to simply apologize to me for the manner in which he treated me.  This did not indicate he wanted me back, he simply wanted to make things right with me.  I apperciated that, we are great friends to this day.  

That is probably all BM was doing.  Clearing the air, in order to have things in future be better between them as they parent their off spring.  There is nothing wrong with that and it takes a very big person to admit their transgressions.



newstepmom61811
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 2:28 PM

You know, if you have your side of things handled with your boyfriend and things are solid it won't matter what she's doing...what are you worried about? Unless you are having issues with your boyfriend yourself...

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