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I called it...BM is pregnant

Posted by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:33 AM
  • 63 Replies

DH and I got married last fall.  He has two boys, 13 and 2 - different BMs.  We wanted to have a child close in age to the 2 year old so we started trying to get pregnant shortly after the wedding.  When we found out we were expecting, I told DH BM of the older SS would likely have issues with it and would try and get pregnant herself.  She also has a 2 year old.  

So here I am, 9 months pregnant and BM has just announced she is 4 months pregnant.  She just can't bear the thought of possibly sharing the attention of a pregnancy and new baby with someone like me.  I feel so bad for SS.  She can hardly juggle being a SAHM to SS and her two year old let alone adding an infant to the mix.  On top of that, she already complains about the lack of room in her home, how disobedient her younger child is, and how exhausted she always is after chasing after her.  I feel like SS and his needs are just going to get further neglected in that home.  I feel so bad for SS and the new baby. 

Any advice on helping make this transition as easy as possible for SS?  He is at an age where he is full of teenager attitude and needs. 

by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kellynh
by Kelly on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:39 AM
2 moms liked this

Ummm... Perhaps she just wanted another baby?? 

I don't know your sn and haven't been here in the last two weeks to see many posts, but choosing to create a life that you have the responsibility for at least 18yrs financially just because my son was getting a half sibling seems extreme. 

As to your question. Worry about the transisition in your own home. Let BM worry about hers. 

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:46 AM
2 moms liked this

Well shit, maybe she wanted the baby.  Maybe it was a huge oops. 

Either way, it probably has NOTHING to do with you.

kim8934
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:48 AM
1 mom liked this

where I live, people have kids all the time and not because someone else is pregnant.  I would recommend that you stay out of her business and she will stay out of yours.  How she raises her son in her house is not your concern.  Congratulations on the pregnancy!

sasismommy
by on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:49 AM

Why do you care about what she does with her body? 

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:51 AM

Why do you assume that her having a baby has anything to do with you?  That's rather presumptuous and conceited on your part don't you think?   And instead of worrying about SS and his "teenager attitude and needs" being made easy on him how about someone teaching him the universe does not revolve around him?  You guys worry about him and the baby you are having and let BM worry about hers.

buttercup627
by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:56 AM
So your allowed to want your child close in age to its sibling but not her? I think th need to get over yourself.
momma2zac2006
by Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Idk if that was her 'plan' but I'm 22 weeks pregnant and when bm found out she really did tell mutual friends she was mad I was pregnant cause she wanted more. She already had 4 by 4 dads and still 'married' to dad of kid #2. Needless to say she's pregnant now like 2 months or so behind me. I could care less she's obviously pretty jealous.
Eternity807
by Bronze Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 9:12 AM

She has told me on multiple occasions that she didn't want more kids.  She had plans to get her tubes tied once she could afford it.  She even stated in mediation with DH that she wasn't going to have any more children because they are too "overwhelming".  She was done having kids.  So I can only assume that the jealousy got the best of her.  If that is not the case, then good for her!  Regardless, I find it amusing as do many other people that know her.   

SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Sep. 26, 2013 at 9:22 AM

I would just worry about the transition in your home...because that is all you really have any kind of control over. Talk to him about it, as I'm sure with two - 2yr olds around he is used to having younger siblings around. Try to get him involved somehow and make sure that dad at least has plenty of one-on-one time with him.

kellynh
by Kelly on Sep. 26, 2013 at 9:53 AM

Whoa... Wait...

Now you " find it amusing"??

How sad!! You went from I feel sorry for the kids, to being amused. 

That kind of makes pregnancy seem like a game. Do you feel your own pregnancy is amusing? 

Quoting Eternity807:

She has told me on multiple occasions that she didn't want more kids.  She had plans to get her tubes tied once she could afford it.  She even stated in mediation with DH that she wasn't going to have any more children because they are too "overwhelming".  She was done having kids.  So I can only assume that the jealousy got the best of her.  If that is not the case, then good for her!  Regardless, I find it amusing as do many other people that know her.   







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