I'm a newbie and at my wit's end. I am a SM with no bio kids. My husband has a 14 year old that is awesome! She loves me, is sweet and very well behaved. She has some learning issues we have identified so she has started seeing a speech therapist to work on executive functions and non-verbal learning disorder. I mentioned this a year ago and BM shot it down. These are issues that had been identified 7 years ago and BM dismissed them... of course... she knows best. Examples of SD learning issues would be reading comprehension and that she couldn't tie her shoes or ride a bicycle until she was 12 due to spatial learning issues.
A little background about BM. I am not exaggerating when I say she is a classic narcissist. The world revolves around her and her schedule. She only pays attention to her daughter when it is convenient for her. She is a "licensed therapist" aka she has a mater's in sociology. She does not have a job and her husband is a psychologist. She totally manipulates my husband and he would rather avoid conflict than argue with her about most things. About 2 years ago she used my SD name on Facebook and posted pictures of herself (BM) in bra and panties in provative poses. I discovered this and we documented her activity for a month and contacted law enforcement. Unfortunately, internet laws do not cover this and because she is the BM she has the right to her daughter's name. When my husband confronted her (with a binder full of proof) she claimed "someone hacked" her account.
BM is now refusing to sign HIPPA form for me to work with the speech therapist regarding scheduling if BM or my husband are available. She says that my "contribution and observations are critical" but then says she doesn't want me to be involved.... ???? She continues to throw out the "attorney" card and says my husband (BD) has no right to allow me to set scheduling on his behalf. I brought out a binder of Facebook evidence to remind her that we had the Facebook proof of her inappropriate activities and to go ahead and contact an attorney. That she had slandered her daughter's name and that information / pictures would be on the internet somewhere forever... and that she did not consult my husband before doing so.
Ironically, the next appointment (we do in-home therapy) is at BM's house. She will be in Vegas at a "convention" for her "license and continuing education"... for the job she doesn't have. Her sister is supposed to be at her home for the appointment (which she was originally going to cancel.). My husband will be discussing the fact that he would need to provide HIPPA permission to her sister and will not do so until she does the same for me.
This situation is not about me or my ego. This is about my SD getting help. Her mother doesn't seem to care about this because of the drama she is creating. This is the first conflict we have had over anything in 5 years. My husband is sticking to his guns about my 100% participation even though I have offered to step aside.