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Anybody else dread sporting events?

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 10:32 AM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

 So today is the first baseball practice and game for SS. Every week I have a huge wave of dread that takes over my entire body before games. To the point I am so sick to my stomache that I can't eat until the game is over. I am filled with so much stress about what scene BM is going to make that week that I can't even concentrate on SS's games sometimes. The last two seasons BM has been the coach. Last season there were a few incidents and the season before there were a couple. This season hasn't even started and the drama has already begun. She refused to send DH a schedule or any of the parent emails and told him he had to call her to get the information knowing that he won't call her because she usually just wants to yell at him and make sure there is no written documentation of it for court or that her lawyer could get it thrown out if he records the conversation. So I suggested DH just email the league director and ask for a schedule which he did and the league director has been sending him emails about everything so no big deal.

I can feel the tension building because she hasn't exploded in about a month. My nerves are just totally frayed going into another sport season. Weeks and weeks of having to see her every Saturday. I feel bad for not going because SS gets really sad and asks me why I wasn't there and will I please come to the next one and I have no idea how to tell him no I can't be there.

Any suggestions about how to get through another season?

**edit** Just found out that BM isn't going to be at this weeks game. Relieved.

by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 10:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 11:21 AM
That's rough. I can remember when I felt this way as a mom. Not sure what the other side was going to do. I would get a pit in my stomach. I can't not go. This is my kid. I had to learn to not let this continue to effect me because quite honestly it is not healthy. Not only mentally but the stress your body is under when you are feeling so tense is not good at all. You have to get to a point where what she does won't effect you. Or choose to not go. You do have that option. You cannot control her, the only person you can control is you. Let her make a fool of herself if that's what she's going to do. It isn't on you. You aren't responsible for her actions. I know that it takes time and practice to get to that point but you have to figure out a way to get started on that. And now. You have an entire season ahead of you.
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Bertieb
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 11:40 AM

I read this because I have that feeling in my stomach right now. SS's wife is throwing him a 30th bday party tonight and his smom that raised him is going to be there. She pretty much invited herself. His bio mom will also be there but nobody has a problem with her. This mom gets drunk and causes drama. There will be alcohol there so we will see how long she stays and what happens. Since lots of family will be there maybe she will behave and not stay long. Nobody wants her there, but she will breeze in and hug all the relatives she hasn't seen in five years and act like she belongs. My night to be an actress and act like no big deal.

Rocker.Mom.07
by The Savior on Sep. 28, 2013 at 11:48 AM

No sporting events here...but I dread when I have to do the pick up or drops offs because BM likes to say things where I can hear it that aren't very... civilized, I guess could be the word. She hates me without even knowing me. But, when sporting or school events do occure (SD is 5), it's probably just going to be us all ignoring each other.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 1:08 PM


why not just stay home? Why put yourself through that? Just tell SS you can't make it, I'm sure he will deal with it. Both mom and dad are there, you dont' really need to go. Kids really don't need a million people come watch them play basketball.

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 2:03 PM

i feel your pain!! For us it's not Bm but her ex who causes a scene. We just avoid the drama at all costs-even if that means sitting at 1 end of the field while he's at the other end.

There were times I couldn't attend due to health reasons and SS7 would be heartbroken-but sometimes you just gotta deal with the disappointment

zannahdeux
by Silver Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 4:44 PM

Can you ask another parent for the schedule? Or the assistant coach? Tell skid that the sport is bm's special time with them and you don't want to interfere with their time

newstepmom61811
by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 5:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I honestly never sugar coat things...with my SKs...when I don't go to something because we know BM is and probability of making a scene is high...well, honestly, why should the relationship between me and the SK suffer for her bad behavior? Why should I be forced to lie if I don't have something else to do and say I cannot make it when I can and they want me there...bullshit. I flatly have flatly told them that I love tem very much but do not want to make their mom uncomfortable and for some reason I do, and I don't know why and that so it won't be tense, I'm going to not go but will be cheering for them anyway...when they were young...they were ok with this answer, now, they don't give a damn how pissed she gets, they make me come anyway and would rather her get uncomfortable and leave. It's messed up but I have a really strong aversion to taking the fall for other peoples shit...I stayed away alright but bullshit if I was going to lie about why...she hates me and wants to make a public mess in front of her kids I figure she can explain that bullshit to her kids.
Boobear110
by Audra on Sep. 28, 2013 at 5:21 PM

Completely agree!!!! So tired of having to make excuses for BM when she acts like an asshole.

I'm also done allowing BM to blame us because she doesn't attend open houses , etc. it's always somehow our fault. 

I loved the " I didn't know because Daddy and Boo didn't tell me" line she gives Sd. I explained to SD that Mom has a school calendar just like we do. Mom can find out things all by her big girl self. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

I honestly never sugar coat things...with my SKs...when I don't go to something because we know BM is and probability of making a scene is high...well, honestly, why should the relationship between me and the SK suffer for her bad behavior? Why should I be forced to lie if I don't have something else to do and say I cannot make it when I can and they want me there...bullshit. I flatly have flatly told them that I love tem very much but do not want to make their mom uncomfortable and for some reason I do, and I don't know why and that so it won't be tense, I'm going to not go but will be cheering for them anyway...when they were young...they were ok with this answer, now, they don't give a damn how pissed she gets, they make me come anyway and would rather her get uncomfortable and leave. It's messed up but I have a really strong aversion to taking the fall for other peoples shit...I stayed away alright but bullshit if I was going to lie about why...she hates me and wants to make a public mess in front of her kids I figure she can explain that bullshit to her kids.


newstepmom61811
by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 5:43 PM
Yeah, the throwing others under the bus has now failed BM and the kids have turned...they are pissed at her lies and blaming others...as they entered the preteen and teen years we started having the kids directly tell her about stuff going on I their schedules...she could never lie to them then that she was not told.,.they were the very ones who told her...they go hysterical...she's psychotic enough to still claim she didn't know about stuff...this woman truly had lost her children emotionally speaking...they won't be played forever or fall for lies forever...


Quoting Boobear110:

Completely agree!!!! So tired of having to make excuses for BM when she acts like an asshole.

I'm also done allowing BM to blame us because she doesn't attend open houses , etc. it's always somehow our fault. 

I loved the " I didn't know because Daddy and Boo didn't tell me" line she gives Sd. I explained to SD that Mom has a school calendar just like we do. Mom can find out things all by her big girl self. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

I honestly never sugar coat things...with my SKs...when I don't go to something because we know BM is and probability of making a scene is high...well, honestly, why should the relationship between me and the SK suffer for her bad behavior? Why should I be forced to lie if I don't have something else to do and say I cannot make it when I can and they want me there...bullshit. I flatly have flatly told them that I love tem very much but do not want to make their mom uncomfortable and for some reason I do, and I don't know why and that so it won't be tense, I'm going to not go but will be cheering for them anyway...when they were young...they were ok with this answer, now, they don't give a damn how pissed she gets, they make me come anyway and would rather her get uncomfortable and leave. It's messed up but I have a really strong aversion to taking the fall for other peoples shit...I stayed away alright but bullshit if I was going to lie about why...she hates me and wants to make a public mess in front of her kids I figure she can explain that bullshit to her kids.



Boobear110
by Audra on Sep. 28, 2013 at 6:09 PM

Sd is only 7 right now so I'm impatiently awaiting that day!! 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

Yeah, the throwing others under the bus has now failed BM and the kids have turned...they are pissed at her lies and blaming others...as they entered the preteen and teen years we started having the kids directly tell her about stuff going on I their schedules...she could never lie to them then that she was not told.,.they were the very ones who told her...they go hysterical...she's psychotic enough to still claim she didn't know about stuff...this woman truly had lost her children emotionally speaking...they won't be played forever or fall for lies forever...


Quoting Boobear110:

Completely agree!!!! So tired of having to make excuses for BM when she acts like an asshole.

I'm also done allowing BM to blame us because she doesn't attend open houses , etc. it's always somehow our fault. 

I loved the " I didn't know because Daddy and Boo didn't tell me" line she gives Sd. I explained to SD that Mom has a school calendar just like we do. Mom can find out things all by her big girl self. 

Quoting newstepmom61811:

I honestly never sugar coat things...with my SKs...when I don't go to something because we know BM is and probability of making a scene is high...well, honestly, why should the relationship between me and the SK suffer for her bad behavior? Why should I be forced to lie if I don't have something else to do and say I cannot make it when I can and they want me there...bullshit. I flatly have flatly told them that I love tem very much but do not want to make their mom uncomfortable and for some reason I do, and I don't know why and that so it won't be tense, I'm going to not go but will be cheering for them anyway...when they were young...they were ok with this answer, now, they don't give a damn how pissed she gets, they make me come anyway and would rather her get uncomfortable and leave. It's messed up but I have a really strong aversion to taking the fall for other peoples shit...I stayed away alright but bullshit if I was going to lie about why...she hates me and wants to make a public mess in front of her kids I figure she can explain that bullshit to her kids.




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