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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I am new wife and step-mom.  I've been with my now husband 1 year and his son has always loved me. My husband even said that it was different for him to take to someone as quick as he has me.  We have been married for 1 1/2 months and since that time, his ex-wife's behavior has went over board and she has been putting my step-son up to do mean things at our home. His behaviors have been horriable and its not like him. He is usually a great kid but now that we are married, its been really hard.  If you all have guidance or suggestions, please help!

 

by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:15 AM
Replies (11-20):
pepper504
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 11:16 AM

How old is your SS? 

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Guidance for whom?  You or BF?  YOU don't need to do anything about this.  You are brand new on the scene and none of this is your responsibility.  This is solely a BF issue.  How would he have handled it before he married you? 

Leigh84
by Silver Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 2:41 PM
If it's a behavior problem DH needs to handle it
LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Sep. 30, 2013 at 2:52 PM

How old is the child in question?

What were the circumstances that you heard BM give a directive to be intentionally disruptive in your home?  Or "steal" clothing?  Or whatever it is the child is doing - because frankly that is not clear.  

Kids act up and act out; this may be the child reacting to his father's remarriage.  Blaming Bwill get you NO WHERE.  Talk to your new DH about how he needs to effectively parent his child.  

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 3:13 PM

I believe he is 8, based on another post.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

How old is the child in question?


pepper504
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 3:21 PM

I love random posters who do not respond to questions posed to them and then other members are the one answering said random poster's questions.  UGH!  Thanks WIKN.

OP, what has dad said about this change in behavior towards you?

Quoting whatIknownow:

I believe he is 8, based on another post.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

How old is the child in question?



whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 3:23 PM

yeah sorry I hate to answer for her but I knew the answer..LOL.. and everyone is waiting for more info.

I don't know any other answers though, but like everyone else, I am really curious to know more.

I particulary want to know about his stealing clothing.


Quoting pepper504:

I love random posters who do not respond to questions posed to them and then other members are the one answering said random poster's questions.  UGH!  Thanks WIKN.

OP, what has dad said about this change in behavior towards you?

Quoting whatIknownow:

I believe he is 8, based on another post.


Quoting LyndaLoo78:

How old is the child in question?





LnghrnFan
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Blending of families is hard...both for parents and kids.  It might be a good idea for you, your husband and his son to go to counseling.  A trained therapist can help you work through some of the issues in your own home.  Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about what BM says or does if she is saying things to her son.  Maybe this article will be helpful: http://bit.ly/16XOaXD.  Blessings to you!

Sam1683
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 6:24 PM
Tough spot to be in hun. I have a similar story. no BM Influence though. If you need to chat message me. Its always super hard to feel no respected in your own home.
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 6:28 PM

Kids are quite capable of acting out all on their own--no prodding necessary.

A marriage can be a big deal to a kid.  All of a sudden, it's a reality that their Mom and Dad are NOT getting back together and that SM or SF is the reason.  Things can get hairy for awhile.

Also, you have to take into account age appropriate responses.  He sounds like a pretty typical little kid trying to sort things out, possible also learning to manipulate things to get what he wants or get attention.  


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