I'm finding myself getting increasingly frustrated with how little my SKs are doing in the way of chores at our home, while they regularly complete chores at the BMs house. Any advice on why that might be and what we can do about it?
My SS is almost 12. My SD is 9. My husband and BM have joint custody. The kids are with us from Sun night to Friday afternoon. Basically, we have them during the week and BM has them on the weekends. We live in the same house that my husband shared with his ex, so the children have never known anything else for the place where they primarily live. BM and my husband also never seemed to instill much in the way of keeping the house picked up. I moved in almost 2 years ago, and my husband and I have done a good deal of remodeling and home improvements. My husband and I care a lot more about keeping the house nice now. I can understand why the kids wouldn't care about picking up after themselves before, but we've been trying to change things over the past year and they aren't responding.
What I don't understand is why, now that they're older and it is reasonable to start expecting more from them, that they are very good at doing chores at their mother's home, but they refuse to do them at our house. My husband tries to be firm with them, but they never keep up with it for more than a week or so, or they argue and whine and just do nothing.
When I ask them why they will do them at their mother's house but not at ours they seem to recognize that it isn't right, but that doesn't make any difference with their follow-through.
What else can I/we do? All I want is for them to start picking up after themselves and to do one or two chores a week so they can start learning some responsibility. Even earning allowance doesn't seem to get their attention...