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I grew up with Step Siblings but I never considered them "Step", they are my brothers. My husbands ex wife tells my two step sons (her children) that their half brother is not, nor never will be their brother. She verbally attacks my 1 year old son through text messages and emails. I've never treated her badly and I've always said I will never take her spot, she will ALWAYS be their Mom and I've made it clear that I'm not on her side and I'm not on my husbands side...I'm on the boys side. Yet she still continues to tell them to act like they don't see us when we are at school function and my 1, almost 2 year old doesn't understand why his brothers wont come see him. She have those boys so scared that they are afraid to come to our house. The first day is us showing them that things their Mom has told them are not 100% sure, 2nd day they are amazing. Running around, playing, cuddling, etc. then the 3rd day comes and they watch the clock like crazy because they know they will be going back to Mommy's house soon. How do handle the drama and hurt she is causing her own children and our family? Will she ever act civil towards us? How can a Mother verbally attack another child? I can't wait and I get so excited when the boys are coming for their weekends at our house but I hate the hurt that comes along with them.
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Replies (21-30):
CLarson1987
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:25 PM
We are in the process of doing that now. Everything is in writing and we keep hard copies and then we save copies on SD card. Sad it has to be that way but she's proven to screw us any chance she gets.


Quoting 2bcalledmommy:

I'm sorry you're going through that.



I know your situation is different but My DH and I went through something similar and this is what my DH did. He sent his ex a very rational email with just the facts, leaving out any emotions so that if it ever comes to it and you need to use it as evidence in court or mediation your DH doesn't look bad. He CC'd his lawyer on the email, basically saying he means business if she doesn't stop her shenanigans.



It worked for us, eventually she got the picture and stopped being so irrational.

CLarson1987
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:30 PM
1 mom liked this
All I see when comments like this it just shows your most likely a negative person. Instead of looking at the situations you could maybe give some advise on, you choose to pick one that you obviously don't know how it honestly feels when someone says your 1 year old doesn't deserve to be here.

Sorry you wasted your time replying.


Quoting CFSTBSM27:

Seriously....How exactly do children so small comprehend all of that? Im a little confused seems a but over the top

CLarson1987
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 4:58 AM
Block the number to someone who has my two step sons. What if they try calling me? What if their is an emergency? That's not an option.


Quoting whatIknownow:

If you don't read the texts to him, he won't know she is saying those things. I think it is silly to say she is "attacking" him. What is she saying about him, and to whom? is she texting you personally? Why haven't you blocked her number?



Quoting CLarson1987:

Think I haven't tried that. It doesn't matter if he can read or not. It's my son and it's my job to protect him from people who are not all there.





Quoting whatIknownow:

How can she verbally attack your baby through text messages and emails? can he read?

don't read her texts or emails and then you won't know what she is saying about  your son. 







Pero3
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 5:42 AM

I too would be interested what you consider "attacking".

Matter of fact is, people have different views and approaches. I never considered my stepbrother (with whom I have a very good relationship) my brother, and I have never considered my DD's stepsisters her sisters (and yes, I have communicated this to DD).

I hold this view for a very good reason .... though, as I said, that's a personal view and doesn't mean that everybody else has to hold it.

Your skids' BM doesn't consider your children her childrens siblings ... and, as a matter of fact, they aren't .. they are half-siblings. Now, the fact that you personally don't wish to differentiate between half and step and full doesn't mean she has to do the same.

Not only do I have personal experience of how difficult the "sissy here, sissy there" can make a child's life, but I read it on here all the time: SMs who are upset because their children are upset that "sissy" isn't always "home"/"sissy" can't be at their birthday party/"sissy" has got something from her mom that they didn't get/"sissy" has another grandparent they don't have etc. etc. etc.

Ultimately, it is entirely in your own hands what picture you "sell" your children ... if you sell them the "sissy here, sissy there approach", then you have to deal with the consequences if BM doesn't agree.

As for the school functions ... my DD's SM attended one so far ... and I wasn't present then. Again, this all depends on your own personal approach ... and mine has always been that SPs shouldn't attend, especially not the educational stuff. Whilst I wouldn't dream of telling DD to ignore BF/SM .. there always is another way to keep pain from your (step)children, which would be not to attend and let your husband go on his own.

OvertiredMommy
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:02 AM
Excuse me?

Quoting amantonacci:


It's a good thing you're keeping it classy in here....


Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I see whackjobs have told ya not to read them, but I would either file harrassment charges or go slapahoe on her




OvertiredMommy
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 6:05 AM
Threats n cursing about a baby could mean mental instability and get him custody

Quoting whatIknownow:


what does "his baby being done like that" mean?



Quoting OvertiredMommy:

If she keeps texting her like that and she tells her not to contact her anymore it is harrassment. And bd should have a problem with his baby being done like that. There is no reason for a bm to dp that



Quoting whatIknownow:


The harassment charges will be dropped due to, it's not actually harassment. And slapahoe will land you in jail with the other criminals.



Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I see whackjobs have told ya not to read them, but I would either file harrassment charges or go slapahoe on her








whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 7:02 AM


They can call their father. Why would they need to call you? 

Quoting CLarson1987:

Block the number to someone who has my two step sons. What if they try calling me? What if their is an emergency? That's not an option.


Quoting whatIknownow:

If you don't read the texts to him, he won't know she is saying those things. I think it is silly to say she is "attacking" him. What is she saying about him, and to whom? is she texting you personally? Why haven't you blocked her number?



Quoting CLarson1987:

Think I haven't tried that. It doesn't matter if he can read or not. It's my son and it's my job to protect him from people who are not all there.





Quoting whatIknownow:

How can she verbally attack your baby through text messages and emails? can he read?

don't read her texts or emails and then you won't know what she is saying about  your son. 









Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 7:37 AM

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me"  

I would repeat that over and over again until you believe it.  You don't value BM's opinion, correct? She's not your friend, correct?  So why would care what she says?  She is TRYING to get a rise out of you.  She IS going the "not so classy" route.  Why stoop to that level with all of this slapaho and "baby bein done wrong" nonesense folks?

A 1YO child does not need "protection" from words spoken to or about him.  Reacting in any way to this nonsense is reinforcing the behavior.  Stop reacting and you'll be happier and it will stop.  Same as a 3YO's temper tantrum.  Which is about the age some folks seem to act even when they are grown ass women.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 7:45 AM

I didn't read anything about threats and cursing.

I mean, not anything as bas as "take your nasty bastard and stick him up your ass."

You mean like that?


Quoting OvertiredMommy:

Threats n cursing about a baby could mean mental instability and get him custody

Quoting whatIknownow:


what does "his baby being done like that" mean?



Quoting OvertiredMommy:

If she keeps texting her like that and she tells her not to contact her anymore it is harrassment. And bd should have a problem with his baby being done like that. There is no reason for a bm to dp that



Quoting whatIknownow:


The harassment charges will be dropped due to, it's not actually harassment. And slapahoe will land you in jail with the other criminals.



Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I see whackjobs have told ya not to read them, but I would either file harrassment charges or go slapahoe on her










FloridaMomma
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 7:59 AM
OMG.


Quoting sandeeyo:

Isn't slapahoe like a game or something?



Quoting whatIknownow:


The harassment charges will be dropped due to, it's not actually harassment. And slapahoe will land you in jail with the other criminals.


Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I see whackjobs have told ya not to read them, but I would either file harrassment charges or go slapahoe on her








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