Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I grew up with Step Siblings but I never considered them "Step", they are my brothers. My husbands ex wife tells my two step sons (her children) that their half brother is not, nor never will be their brother. She verbally attacks my 1 year old son through text messages and emails. I've never treated her badly and I've always said I will never take her spot, she will ALWAYS be their Mom and I've made it clear that I'm not on her side and I'm not on my husbands side...I'm on the boys side. Yet she still continues to tell them to act like they don't see us when we are at school function and my 1, almost 2 year old doesn't understand why his brothers wont come see him. She have those boys so scared that they are afraid to come to our house. The first day is us showing them that things their Mom has told them are not 100% sure, 2nd day they are amazing. Running around, playing, cuddling, etc. then the 3rd day comes and they watch the clock like crazy because they know they will be going back to Mommy's house soon. How do handle the drama and hurt she is causing her own children and our family? Will she ever act civil towards us? How can a Mother verbally attack another child? I can't wait and I get so excited when the boys are coming for their weekends at our house but I hate the hurt that comes along with them.
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Replies (31-40):
chasinrainbows
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 8:41 AM
Take her to court and request a gag Order to keep her from saying all that to her kids about their brother. Then file Contempt every time she opens her mouth. Eventually she will get the message and SHOULD stop.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 8:44 AM


Keep her from saying what? we don't know what she has actually said, the OP never told us.

I don't think you can get a court order to stop someone from saying "the baby is not your brother".  I'm not agreeing that the baby isnt' their brother, but it's not court-worthy. We really don't know the details of what the mother has said.

Quoting chasinrainbows:

Take her to court and request a gag Order to keep her from saying all that to her kids about their brother. Then file Contempt every time she opens her mouth. Eventually she will get the message and SHOULD stop.



packermomof2
by on Oct. 1, 2013 at 9:17 AM



Quoting CLarson1987:

Block the number to someone who has my two step sons. What if they try calling me? What if their is an emergency? That's not an option.

Actually, it is.  They can call their parent in case of an emergency.  I once blocked my ex when he was harassing me via text.  He got the message.  He's the parent and I still did it.  Turns out, kids didn't suffer, just like they won't suffer if mom doesn't have access to you via phone.
chasinrainbows
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 9:57 AM
OP already said what BM is saying and yes, you can have damn near anything put into a CO.....especially pertaining to kids. There are topics my ex and his entire family cannot discuss with my kids. My DF has stuff like that in his CO as well.

Quoting whatIknownow:


Keep her from saying what? we don't know what she has actually said, the OP never told us.

I don't think you can get a court order to stop someone from saying "the baby is not your brother".  I'm not agreeing that the baby isnt' their brother, but it's not court-worthy. We really don't know the details of what the mother has said.


Quoting chasinrainbows:

Take her to court and request a gag Order to keep her from saying all that to her kids about their brother. Then file Contempt every time she opens her mouth. Eventually she will get the message and SHOULD stop.




whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 9:59 AM


well they can certainly try it, but it is unlikely they will win, and it will cost them a lot of money.

A better strategy is for the OP to ignore what the mother says. 

Quoting chasinrainbows:

OP already said what BM is saying and yes, you can have damn near anything put into a CO.....especially pertaining to kids. There are topics my ex and his entire family cannot discuss with my kids. My DF has stuff like that in his CO as well.

Quoting whatIknownow:


Keep her from saying what? we don't know what she has actually said, the OP never told us.

I don't think you can get a court order to stop someone from saying "the baby is not your brother".  I'm not agreeing that the baby isnt' their brother, but it's not court-worthy. We really don't know the details of what the mother has said.


Quoting chasinrainbows:

Take her to court and request a gag Order to keep her from saying all that to her kids about their brother. Then file Contempt every time she opens her mouth. Eventually she will get the message and SHOULD stop.






chasinrainbows
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 10:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Half siblings ARE siblings. It's an outright lie to tell a child otherwise.

Quoting Pero3:

I too would be interested what you consider "attacking".

Matter of fact is, people have different views and approaches. I never considered my stepbrother (with whom I have a very good relationship) my brother, and I have never considered my DD's stepsisters her sisters (and yes, I have communicated this to DD).

I hold this view for a very good reason .... though, as I said, that's a personal view and doesn't mean that everybody else has to hold it.

Your skids' BM doesn't consider your children her childrens siblings ... and, as a matter of fact, they aren't .. they are half-siblings. Now, the fact that you personally don't wish to differentiate between half and step and full doesn't mean she has to do the same.

Not only do I have personal experience of how difficult the "sissy here, sissy there" can make a child's life, but I read it on here all the time: SMs who are upset because their children are upset that "sissy" isn't always "home"/"sissy" can't be at their birthday party/"sissy" has got something from her mom that they didn't get/"sissy" has another grandparent they don't have etc. etc. etc.

Ultimately, it is entirely in your own hands what picture you "sell" your children ... if you sell them the "sissy here, sissy there approach", then you have to deal with the consequences if BM doesn't agree.

As for the school functions ... my DD's SM attended one so far ... and I wasn't present then. Again, this all depends on your own personal approach ... and mine has always been that SPs shouldn't attend, especially not the educational stuff. Whilst I wouldn't dream of telling DD to ignore BF/SM .. there always is another way to keep pain from your (step)children, which would be not to attend and let your husband go on his own.

chasinrainbows
by Silver Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 10:04 AM
It only costed me a filing fee plus gas and hotel since I live 300 miles away. You would be surprised in how some judges are against people talking crap to children. It isn't good for a child's mental health and can be easily proven by using common sense.

Quoting whatIknownow:


well they can certainly try it, but it is unlikely they will win, and it will cost them a lot of money.

A better strategy is for the OP to ignore what the mother says. 


Quoting chasinrainbows:

OP already said what BM is saying and yes, you can have damn near anything put into a CO.....especially pertaining to kids. There are topics my ex and his entire family cannot discuss with my kids. My DF has stuff like that in his CO as well.



Quoting whatIknownow:


Keep her from saying what? we don't know what she has actually said, the OP never told us.

I don't think you can get a court order to stop someone from saying "the baby is not your brother".  I'm not agreeing that the baby isnt' their brother, but it's not court-worthy. We really don't know the details of what the mother has said.



Quoting chasinrainbows:

Take her to court and request a gag Order to keep her from saying all that to her kids about their brother. Then file Contempt every time she opens her mouth. Eventually she will get the message and SHOULD stop.








OvertiredMommy
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 10:05 AM
I am a very blunt person. I dont blame behavior disorders or anything else on a teens complete disrespect for others. It is the parent"s responsibilty to deal with behavior such as pooping pants or refusal to bathe. But for some bms, they get off on their lids making life Hell for the sm, and instead of stopping the behaviors they want the sm to let their kids do what they want, kiss their little asses, etc just because sm married her ex. Those are the bm i do tell like it is.

Quoting whatIknownow:

I didn't read anything about threats and cursing.

I mean, not anything as bas as "take your nasty bastard and stick him up your ass."

You mean like that?



Quoting OvertiredMommy:

Threats n cursing about a baby could mean mental instability and get him custody



Quoting whatIknownow:


what does "his baby being done like that" mean?




Quoting OvertiredMommy:

If she keeps texting her like that and she tells her not to contact her anymore it is harrassment. And bd should have a problem with his baby being done like that. There is no reason for a bm to dp that





Quoting whatIknownow:


The harassment charges will be dropped due to, it's not actually harassment. And slapahoe will land you in jail with the other criminals.




Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I see whackjobs have told ya not to read them, but I would either file harrassment charges or go slapahoe on her













kay283
by Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Im sorry to hear about your stressful situation. Im going through something very similar. I love when his boys visit, my son gets along so well with them, and I really love his boys as if they were my own. But sometimes they come and say really hurtful things, like my mom said you are not my friend, and I don't love you, and your son will never be my brother :( it really breaks my heart because I am so good to the boys! I just tell them, I know your mommy loves you very much, but it's ok if we love you too, and of course im your "friend". A child can never have too many people loving them, hopefully these angry bitter exs will understand that someday, and let us love their kids, and let their kids make their own decisions about how they feel about their step family.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 1, 2013 at 10:07 AM

What does "get off on their lids" mean? Is that another ghetto phrase?


Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I am a very blunt person. I dont blame behavior disorders or anything else on a teens complete disrespect for others. It is the parent"s responsibilty to deal with behavior such as pooping pants or refusal to bathe. But for some bms, they get off on their lids making life Hell for the sm, and instead of stopping the behaviors they want the sm to let their kids do what they want, kiss their little asses, etc just because sm married her ex. Those are the bm i do tell like it is.

Quoting whatIknownow:

I didn't read anything about threats and cursing.

I mean, not anything as bas as "take your nasty bastard and stick him up your ass."

You mean like that?



Quoting OvertiredMommy:

Threats n cursing about a baby could mean mental instability and get him custody



Quoting whatIknownow:


what does "his baby being done like that" mean?




Quoting OvertiredMommy:

If she keeps texting her like that and she tells her not to contact her anymore it is harrassment. And bd should have a problem with his baby being done like that. There is no reason for a bm to dp that





Quoting whatIknownow:


The harassment charges will be dropped due to, it's not actually harassment. And slapahoe will land you in jail with the other criminals.




Quoting OvertiredMommy:

I see whackjobs have told ya not to read them, but I would either file harrassment charges or go slapahoe on her















Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured