Do you feel that it is reasonable to encourage and/or expect a teen kiddo to have a PT job or babysit/mow lawns, etc?
What if they are involved in sports or other EC's throughout the year? Or aren't?
What if they want a car?
What if they want to do a special school trip?
Does it change your opinion based on whether or not Mom and Dad can afford to pay for these things?
Both DH and I worked throughout HS and college while also being involved in sports and other school activities. DH and I have both encouraged the kids to try to work a bit and earn a some money for themeselves.
This has been met with a lot of resistance from BM. Her family is/was quite wealthy and she was never expected to pay for anything on her own. Perhaps that's one reason why, until recently, she'd not kept a job for more than a few months at a time in 20 years....I dunno.
I got an email yesterday from BM talking about SD15, nearly 16 and driving, wanting a car, etc... SD14's band trip, kids wanting new clothes, etc and my honest first thought was "What are they planning to do to help make it happen?" I really believe that having a PT job or doing things to earn your own money as a teen to cover the things you want to do/have is quite reasonable. BM would prefer that things just be paid for...by us of course.
I have no doubt that my DH would pay for everything if he could, even though he would prefer that they learn some work ethic and have a job. But he can't afford it. This email from BM was actually in response to an email I sent letting her know that with the gov't shutdown, things are going to be tight and we don't know what's going to happen w/ CS since it comes out of his paycheck that may/may not come--but that we'll try to get it all sorted out to avoid impacting her and the kids.
But seriously...is it totally unreasonable to expect a couple of kids who are home after school everyday, no sports, no EC's now...to think about earning a little money of their own for the things they want?
I'm not talking about paying for the basics. I'm talking about the extras. It's difficult for me to understand why a HS aged kid shouldn't be expected to pay for things above and beyond because I had to do that plus the basics. So I realize that I'm an odd duck. My dad was a douche canoe and wouldn't do anything beyond CS and my mom simply could not pay for our extra stuff. If we wanted to do extra stuff, we had to find a way.
But that was me, not my SDs so I'm truly trying to see the other side of this argument.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a kid working a little. But BM is ADAMANTLY against that idea.