Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Does your DH expect to be introduced to friends, family, or acquaintances of the OP or SP?

Posted by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:38 AM
  • 29 Replies

For the BM’s in the group, do you expect to be introduced to people that know OP or SP?

 

 

SS had an event at his school last night. SF has a friend, whose son is in the same grade as SS. He’s constantly hanging around us when we go to school events. Although we’ve never met him, he knows who we are (BF and SM). He really pisses DH off, because he’s always making comments (when he’s next to DH) to SS like – “You’re just like SF.” “Why isn’t SF here today? You should go home and tell your dad to come next time.” DH really wants to say, “His dad is here today. Unfortunately, his stepfather couldn’t make it. Who are you by the way?” but he doesn’t want to be a jerk who causes a scene.

 

BM, on the other hand has no qualms about pushing her way into conversations with my friends to say, “I’m SS’s mom. Who are you?” Last night I ran into a few parents that I’ve become friendly with. They had kids in SS’s class last year and they know the whole blended family scenario. One asked me how the baby was coming along, and BM cut between us to said, “Hi. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m SS’s mom.” I also ran into an old high school friend, who was at the event with their younger sibling. She just transferred to a new college and I asked her how it was going, when BM cut in to say - “I’m SS’s mom. And you are?” She interrupted six conversations last night to insert her momness and question who someone was, even though the people had nothing to do with SS. The very worst – DH’s boss. He’s the head of the building that DH works at (he’s actually the major head honcho: DH’s boss’ boss’ boss’ boss). BM and SS were down the hallway looking at artwork when we ran into him. He said hello to DH and they stopped to chat for a second. DH introduced me as his wife, and seconds later BM pushed her way past me to say, “I’m his ex-wife and the mother of our son.”

 

WTF! We weren’t talking about you, or even SS for that matter.

 

BM has done this before to my family, but last night it was constant. I know it shouldn’t bother me - BM is his mom - but it eventually got on my nerves. She doesn’t offer any information about anybody that she knows, but yet she questions everyone that I stop and chat with.

by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:57 AM

thats a whole new level of crazyassitis

Melina74
by Melina on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:59 AM

That's just kind of weird.  Sounds like she has some insecurity issues, and a touch of paranoia.  

twinklebites
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:00 PM

I wouldn't think I would have to be introduced to BF friends, If were were having a convo and someone came up to us then yes but that's just common courtesy... SO was bothered at the fact that BF knew about SO and didn't request to meet him , I laughed and told him who I date is none of BF business.. if he stuck around long enough  they would meet but I wasn't stetting up a meet and greet!

LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM

SO and I avoid sitautions where we are the same event as my ex.  If we are all at the same event - we are FAR away from each other.  Neither SO or I have interest in knowing anyone my ex or his wife know, we are confident they would not be our cup of tea so to speak.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:07 PM

LMAO!  ... because I know exactly where you're coming from.

Yes, BM always inserts herself.  It's insecurity.  She's afraid of being left out of the loop or not being recognized as BM.  It's awkward, but if I were you, I'd learn to just laugh it off.  People DH and I have grown to know well have made comments about BM acting weird or needing to chill, but it is what it is. 

Funny is when you run into a casual acquaintance away from a school setting who isn't familiar with the family dynamic or the kids and having BM aggressively interrupt with her, "Hi!  I'm [BM], [SD] and [SS]'s mom!"  We had all met at a restaurant one night and encountered a contractor DH used on one of his projects.  That guy barely knew DH on a professional level, forget personal details.  It has also happened to me at horse-related functions.  Small world in which most of the professionals know one-another, but we know each other's horses moreso than anyone's kids.  The recipient in each case was polite to BM but did have to clarify afterward, "[SD] and [SS] are... ?" 

ETA:  In answer to the other half of your question, DH and I tend to be more reserved.  I've had SD make comments about how other moms gossip or how I'm left out of this or that, but it's not in my nature to pay attention to that type of thing.  If I see BM talking to someone, I assume she knows them.  I don't assume the conversation has anything to do about me, and I frankly wouldn't care if it did.  I feel as though we meet the people we need to.  DH is the same.  If there's someone he should know, he'll introduce himself.  He doesn't have a need to know every single person BM knows or even half the people I know.

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:08 PM

 BM is being extremely rude.  She shouldn't be butting into your conversations.

I would introduce myself to SF's friend and be polite and then keep my distance from him.  He sounds like a jerk who is trying to start trouble.

Pero3
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:09 PM

It really depends ... let me put it like this, if the three of you stood together and the boss came up to you and your husband introduced you, but not his ex ... it would probably leave the boss wondering why and produce an akward moment ... so instead of giving her the chance to say something, I'd have probably said "and this is First Name, Last Name", without an explanation of your connection.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:24 PM

If the three are together and someone approaches, it's simply rude not to introduce everyone in the group.  That's basic manners.

If the OP is talking about the scenario DH and I deal with, it's one in which BM can be half a football field length away, see a conversation occurring without her, and race over to interrupt and introduce herself.  It's awkward to the extent of being highly comical in certain scenarios. 


Quoting Pero3:

It really depends ... let me put it like this, if the three of you stood together and the boss came up to you and your husband introduced you, but not his ex ... it would probably leave the boss wondering why and produce an akward moment ... so instead of giving her the chance to say something, I'd have probably said "and this is First Name, Last Name", without an explanation of your connection.


 

looneytunes290
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 12:26 PM

It sounds like she is trying to "run you guys off" from events- and she is crazy.  Is the kid just starting kindergarten?  Does she have any reason to believe that you have- or will have attempted to stand in for her in educational duties (parenting).  Sounds like she makes a big enough fool of herself that if you just ignore her she will eventually tire of it- or meet everyone- lol

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Bm just made herself look like an asshat. 

As a bm I would not just interrupt a conversation nor do I ever introduce myself as the ex...that is just weird to me.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)