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I hope I did the right thing-

Posted by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:21 PM
  • 7 Replies
So here is a little back story- my ex has bounced in and out of the kids lives since 2003- when we divorced. Really I have came to terms with that. In 2009 during one of his absenses I went back to court and got sole custody with him only having supervised visits. Anyway- he has seen the kids off and on since then at our house when he wants to see them. He usually beings his wife and I know it sounds crazy but actually works out pretty good. Before the co he rarely took more visitation than that anyway. So-- we have all been fairly amnicable. So skip to tonite- he is years behind on cs. It has never been anything I counted on anyway so I haven't stressed about it- but apparently after all these years the state has decided to issue a warrant. I knew about this back several months ago- actually tried to call him about it- but he didn't return my calls. So- tonight he decides to "be honest" with the kids- and tell them daddy can't see you because there is a warrant for cs- so I have to stay out of the state. They freaked out. I mean it was like traumatizing for them. My ex doesn't realize what a different lifestyle we have than him. A WARRANT is a stinking big deal here! They are 11 and 13 - they were both crying and begging for me to do something so daddy doesn't go to jail. I tried to talk to him but he hung up on me. Anyway- this is man who sees his kids in two hour increments- maybe 5 times a year on a good year. He doesn't even know them! So I pulled rank- I sent him a text that said if he wanted to talk to them he could call my cell from now on- and I blocked his number from their phones with smart limits. Both kids were okay with this. I explained to him that he shouldn't have discussed his finances with them and it upset them- and also that I was within my rights to cut off the unlimited phone contact and monitor it more closely. Did I do the right thing? Ugh- my kids are very loving and he just breaks their little hearts. At the same time- I refuse to make decisions based on anger.
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:21 PM
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Replies (1-7):
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:27 PM
3 moms liked this

absolutely he committed emotional abuse by pulling that stunt

looneytunes290
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Thank you- I think so too. He is emotionally abusive-
venessaw04
by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Good job you handled it great. Glad boys somewhat understand
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this

This, exactly this.


Quoting soonergirl980:

absolutely he committed emotional abuse by pulling that stunt



SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this
I might be honest with them in that this is dads choice because he didn't do what he was supposed to and a warrant is the consequence.
looneytunes290
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:27 PM
I did explain that to them. Bless their hearts it is so hard on them.


Quoting SassyMom25:

I might be honest with them in that this is dads choice because he didn't do what he was supposed to and a warrant is the consequence.

SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I had to speak with SS once about BM when she went to prison for 6 months and told SS that it was the cops fault she had to be there. We talked about responsibility and consequences and how adults have rules to follow just like kids.

Quoting looneytunes290:

I did explain that to them. Bless their hearts it is so hard on them.




Quoting SassyMom25:

I might be honest with them in that this is dads choice because he didn't do what he was supposed to and a warrant is the consequence.

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