So here is a little back story- my ex has bounced in and out of the kids lives since 2003- when we divorced. Really I have came to terms with that. In 2009 during one of his absenses I went back to court and got sole custody with him only having supervised visits. Anyway- he has seen the kids off and on since then at our house when he wants to see them. He usually beings his wife and I know it sounds crazy but actually works out pretty good. Before the co he rarely took more visitation than that anyway. So-- we have all been fairly amnicable. So skip to tonite- he is years behind on cs. It has never been anything I counted on anyway so I haven't stressed about it- but apparently after all these years the state has decided to issue a warrant. I knew about this back several months ago- actually tried to call him about it- but he didn't return my calls. So- tonight he decides to "be honest" with the kids- and tell them daddy can't see you because there is a warrant for cs- so I have to stay out of the state. They freaked out. I mean it was like traumatizing for them. My ex doesn't realize what a different lifestyle we have than him. A WARRANT is a stinking big deal here! They are 11 and 13 - they were both crying and begging for me to do something so daddy doesn't go to jail. I tried to talk to him but he hung up on me. Anyway- this is man who sees his kids in two hour increments- maybe 5 times a year on a good year. He doesn't even know them! So I pulled rank- I sent him a text that said if he wanted to talk to them he could call my cell from now on- and I blocked his number from their phones with smart limits. Both kids were okay with this. I explained to him that he shouldn't have discussed his finances with them and it upset them- and also that I was within my rights to cut off the unlimited phone contact and monitor it more closely. Did I do the right thing? Ugh- my kids are very loving and he just breaks their little hearts. At the same time- I refuse to make decisions based on anger.
on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:21 PM