Hello from the not so evil step-mom(or how my husband puts it)
I am a new(ish) Step-mom of a wonderfull six year old. The reason I say that I am newish is that I have just recently married Xander's father but we have been a family for some time now. I just now get to use the title of step-mom. One thing that is good about that situation is that neither of us have to worry about getting to know each other. I have known his father since before Xander was born, and have seen and spent time with him regularly since then.
At the moment we are staying with my Grandmother who is in her 70's, and has pretty bad arthristis. She is slowing down and my Grandfather died a few years ago. She asked us to come live with her to give her company and help her out around the house. Now she is very independant but I think she may have been a bit lonely, and her arthritis and tendinitis is getting much worse. She still works 5 days a week in the same library as she did when I was a baby, but she possibly may retire soon due to a new change in people who run the libraries in this area.
Xander has just started living with us comletely full time this year. Before this we had him from Friday-sun/mon), then we did weeks half and half with his mother. Then she had some personal issues (I might bring this up in more detail if it helps explain his situation better) and dropped Xander and his 1 year old brother with her parents. Her parents are already have been raising her first son since he was a few months old. We attempted to get him and take him with us however we were advised to wait and submit papers to get custody of him. We knew he was safe and well cared for with his grandparents, but we didn't want him to have to be there with no contact to either of his actuall parents.
We finally got ahold of Xander's mother's parents, who we are on good terms with, and set-up a visitation arangement until we got all the papers filed where he would be with them during the school week and us on the weekends(friday-sunday). Once he was done with school the papers were filed and the money was paid to "serve" them. We never went to court over it because she moved in with her parents for a few weeks then had an argument with them and decided to leave. We had him for his weekend visit and she called and told us we could essentially keep him because she didn't want him with her parents, and she would sign any papers we wanted that next monday. We have had him since then although there was a bog mess when she filled out some of the papers so we had to get her to do it again.
He is now in school in a great school district, and is loving school. He is in first grade despite only just turning 6. He is very bright but has some attention problems(not bad). He has a yard and woods to play in up here on the mountain where we live, and has friends at school. He loves to visit my Grandmother (his Grandma Bert) at the library and loves reading. He loves to do puzzles, and build things with pretty much everything. He is a great kid, but due to some of the things that were happening in his old home with his mother he has some things we are all working with him on.
I feel horrible for him because his mother hasn't seen him since his 6th brithday party, and before that there was a large gap in time that she saw him. We have talked to her and she hasn't once asked about him. I don't know what to tell him when he asks when he will get to see her again. I love being a parent to him, but sometimes being his step-mom can be hard.
I hope that wasn't too much all at once.
Thank you for anyone who took the time to read all of that (sorry for the typing mistakes)