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a little frustrated

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 3:13 AM
  • 26 Replies

So I backed off like everybody suggested and things have been better.  

SD is 11 and has recently decided that she does not need to go to bed. Til like well after 1am. 

BF theory is "well if she doesn't go to bed then that's her problem and she has to be tired all day"

ERRR...no, it's everybody's problem because she acts like a total 2 year old. 

She cried more saturday than my 10 month old did.  She cried cause she didn't ice cream at Chick Fil A, she cried cause BF made chicken nuggets and fries for dinner (i know i know but long story short, i am having major medical problems and he was trying to help me and get the kids taken care of at the same time).  Today she cried because I told her to leave her dad alone while he was in the shower. 

After she went home, I told her dad that while I appericate his theory on the "overtired" situation, that it isn't just her who has to be tired, it's everybody who has to deal with it.  I flat out told him that there is no excuse for an 11 year old to cry over chicken nuggets.  

For the record, she cried cause chicken nuggets "hurt my stomach" but she ate 10 of them without a problem when he finally told her that it was either it or  be hungry.  And she never complained that her stomach hurt. 

It's just stupid.  

I asked him how he felt about telling her it's bedtime and taking away her laptop, Itouch, and Ipad so she actually has to go to sleep.  He was like "well they are her things".....................NO, they are your things as the parent beacuse you paid for them and it's your right to take them away or insist they be turned off at a certain time.

I just don't want to have to hear an 11 year old cry over damn everything for days.............

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 3:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 6:41 AM

it sounds like he handled the chicken nugget thing just fine.

You should ignore her crying and let dad handle it. He is handling it.

He doesn't want to take things away from her, he is fine with her staying up. You need to let this go. He's her parent and this is his call. When she cries over little things, just leave the room.

amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 7:28 AM
I agree with wikn...


Quoting whatIknownow:

it sounds like he handled the chicken nugget thing just fine.

You should ignore her crying and let dad handle it. He is handling it.

He doesn't want to take things away from her, he is fine with her staying up. You need to let this go. He's her parent and this is his call. When she cries over little things, just leave the room.


DDDaysh
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:37 AM

Well, that's how he's decided to parent.  You can be mad about it, but I don't think you can change him, and you really shouldn't try to go around him.  

I can understand why you're frustrated with him parenting that way.  But that's how he is and you're unlikely to change him.  Is it making you unhappy enough to leave?  If not, just try to ignore the situation.  

TruIris
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:53 AM
1 mom liked this
You have to let dad learn his lesson just like she is learning hers. If she cries enough then maybe he will want to figure out this bed situation... if not, buy ear plugs.
JustaSM231
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Ugh! Sucky situation I know when a child is tired and cranky. Unfortunately if this is how dad is going to handle it, there isn't a lot you can do -except very calmly remove yourself to a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and let dad deal with the meltdowns. He will either get sick of it and change his parents tactic or he will let it continue. But at least you don't have to deal with it!
destinyangl21
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:12 AM


I agree as well.


If she starts having a meltdown, go out and get your hair done! Do something for yourself and let Dad handle to the temper tantrums. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

it sounds like he handled the chicken nugget thing just fine.

You should ignore her crying and let dad handle it. He is handling it.

He doesn't want to take things away from her, he is fine with her staying up. You need to let this go. He's her parent and this is his call. When she cries over little things, just leave the room.



pepper504
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:20 AM

Hate when a parent refuses to parent their child and the rest of the household has to suffer because of it.  SMH.  That is where the frustration lies. 

happymommy1105
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:46 AM

I am working on leaving. Not becuase of this one situation but because of a lot of situations.  But it is going to be about 6 months til I can leave.  I don't want to listen to it for 6 months.  There are some weekends when I can take my kids and go other places and when that is an option, we do it.  

It just bothers me.  My son has temper tantrum problems (he has ADHD- not an excuse but part of the reason that he is old to be throwing temper tantrums...he is 7) and I have worked hard with the therapist to reduce the number of tantrums he has.  We can now go a whole week without a tantrum.  I don't want him to see her throw a fit, get her way and then revert back to his bad behaviors that I have worked hard to get rid of!

Quoting DDDaysh:

Well, that's how he's decided to parent.  You can be mad about it, but I don't think you can change him, and you really shouldn't try to go around him.  

I can understand why you're frustrated with him parenting that way.  But that's how he is and you're unlikely to change him.  Is it making you unhappy enough to leave?  If not, just try to ignore the situation.  


happymommy1105
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:48 AM

agreed!  why does an 11 year old need to be on the computer/Itouch/Ipad unsupervised basically all day?  Cause she sure as heck doesn't interact with anybody else- she just plays games on her technology....it's kinda sad to watch honestly.  

It's not like she's grown and he has no control.  He has no control cause he chooses not to do anything about it. 

Quoting pepper504:

Hate when a parent refuses to parent their child and the rest of the household has to suffer because of it.  SMH.  That is where the frustration lies. 


happymommy1105
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:51 AM

oh i should also add that my son got into the christmas presents we had stashed away this weekend while i was in the shower.  

he wants me to punish my son and tell him he can't go on family outings because he got into the christmas presents and tell him he is grounded for like 2 weeks over the incident.  

BUT 

his child can make the whole family miserable and nothing happens.....

By the way- my son is 7 and he just got told that Santa isn't real and we aren't buying him new presents.  That he will have the same presents he already knows about under the tree and from Santa.  That is his punishment.  

Quoting pepper504:

Hate when a parent refuses to parent their child and the rest of the household has to suffer because of it.  SMH.  That is where the frustration lies. 


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