I'm a month in being a SP with SS13 at home with us. DF and I are getting frustrated with what seems like worsening behavior, although we realize it's probably because he is getting more comfortable, which is a good thing.
Basically, it's all about him. If he wants something and doesn't get it, he whines and complains. If he doesn't want to do something, he whines and complains. It's very passive-aggressive, because he stops and then smiles and jokes. But the whining and complaining and the disregard for everyone but himself is getting really old. It's a typical kid behavior, but that doesn't make it any easier!
DF has not been a regular parent since SS was two, so he's learning the ropes on a 13-year-old. My two are older and are far removed from this stage, plus they know there would be hell to pay if they did that. I'm trying to help DF with a solution, and back him up with it.
Last night after a trip to Walmart and the Halloween store we were both ready to scream. We sat down and decided that from now on, SS will be given advance notice of things, i.e. when chores need to be done, where we are going and what he is allowed to get. Then we will start saying no, with no room for negotiation after that notice.
SS is immature for his age, I would say about 1 1/2 to 2 years behind, and I also think this is a behavior he used successfully with BM in the past. I'd appreciate any more suggestions you have to help him out of this behavior and save our sanity!
Thanks and have a great Monday. :-)
on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:43 AM