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Helping SS stop whining and complaining

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:43 AM
  • 14 Replies
Hi everyone, I'm a month in being a SP with SS13 at home with us. DF and I are getting frustrated with what seems like worsening behavior, although we realize it's probably because he is getting more comfortable, which is a good thing. Basically, it's all about him. If he wants something and doesn't get it, he whines and complains. If he doesn't want to do something, he whines and complains. It's very passive-aggressive, because he stops and then smiles and jokes. But the whining and complaining and the disregard for everyone but himself is getting really old. It's a typical kid behavior, but that doesn't make it any easier! DF has not been a regular parent since SS was two, so he's learning the ropes on a 13-year-old. My two are older and are far removed from this stage, plus they know there would be hell to pay if they did that. I'm trying to help DF with a solution, and back him up with it. Last night after a trip to Walmart and the Halloween store we were both ready to scream. We sat down and decided that from now on, SS will be given advance notice of things, i.e. when chores need to be done, where we are going and what he is allowed to get. Then we will start saying no, with no room for negotiation after that notice. SS is immature for his age, I would say about 1 1/2 to 2 years behind, and I also think this is a behavior he used successfully with BM in the past. I'd appreciate any more suggestions you have to help him out of this behavior and save our sanity! Thanks and have a great Monday. :-)
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cLanief
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Ummm I thought you were talking about a little kid and was going to say my son is driving me nuts with that shit too and if you find out what works let me know... but he's 7.. not 13. Dad needs to be a dad and whoop some arse. Metaphorically if you must. Babies whine, not teenagers.
DDDaysh
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't listen to whining.  I pretend it's not happening.  

pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:10 AM
1 mom liked this


To this day with DD16 I will say I need to hear a strong voice, I can't understand what you are saying.  

Quoting DDDaysh:

I don't listen to whining.  I pretend it's not happening.  



whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:36 AM


this is what I do too.

Quoting DDDaysh:

I don't listen to whining.  I pretend it's not happening.  



whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:38 AM


nope.. teenagers whine. They do. It's annoying, but they do it.

I have raised (or am raising) 4 teenagers. It's just part of raising kids.

Quoting cLanief:

Ummm I thought you were talking about a little kid and was going to say my son is driving me nuts with that shit too and if you find out what works let me know... but he's 7.. not 13. Dad needs to be a dad and whoop some arse. Metaphorically if you must. Babies whine, not teenagers.



JustaSM231
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:51 AM
OMG do teens whine! My nephew is 18, almost 19 and he is the worst whiner on earth. When he is told no and whines, his mother does it right back! LOL shuts him up pretty quick!!!
pinkieb1
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:19 AM

I just remembered that I used to tell my daughter that I couldn't understand her unless she used her normal voice - so I'll try that again too!

He informed me this morning that I "bought the wrong Cheerios".  Um, no, you finished your box already and the plain ones are for your dad.  I told him he still had bagels or could eat plain ones this week - cutting off the whine before it could get started - and then let DF know what I had told SS so he could back it up and not buy more! One day at a time ha ha ha . . .

cLanief
by Bronze Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:23 AM
My so has an 11 and 13 yo.... I haven't heard much whining out of them. A smidge but nowhere as bad as little kids.


Quoting whatIknownow:


nope.. teenagers whine. They do. It's annoying, but they do it.

I have raised (or am raising) 4 teenagers. It's just part of raising kids.


Quoting cLanief:

Ummm I thought you were talking about a little kid and was going to say my son is driving me nuts with that shit too and if you find out what works let me know... but he's 7.. not 13. Dad needs to be a dad and whoop some arse. Metaphorically if you must. Babies whine, not teenagers.





whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this


welp, you're lucky. All kids have something. Some whine, some are messy, some are bad students, some are catty, some suck their thumb, some are picky eaters, some wet the bed, some have [insert other bad habit here].  They're all different.

Quoting cLanief:

My so has an 11 and 13 yo.... I haven't heard much whining out of them. A smidge but nowhere as bad as little kids.


Quoting whatIknownow:


nope.. teenagers whine. They do. It's annoying, but they do it.

I have raised (or am raising) 4 teenagers. It's just part of raising kids.


Quoting cLanief:

Ummm I thought you were talking about a little kid and was going to say my son is driving me nuts with that shit too and if you find out what works let me know... but he's 7.. not 13. Dad needs to be a dad and whoop some arse. Metaphorically if you must. Babies whine, not teenagers.







OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

 If the whining gets too bad I send the kid to their room and tell them they can come out when they are done complaining.  I will listen once and that is it. 

Its very tricky to go to the store with kids, IMO.  You have to set expectations as to why you are going and what you are going to spend, etc.  I do most of the shopping for the kids online.  Its so much easier and you don't have to hunt around the store for their size.

If I'm out at the store with kids and they ask for something that I haven't planned on buying I sometimes say "Let me and DH discuss it and we can purchase online later".  We have amazon prime so free shipping (yea!). 

Just be consistent.

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