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Are there any happy step moms?

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:43 PM
  • 147 Replies
7 moms liked this

I'm still rather new to CM, I joined the SMC to connect with other step moms. Holy heck, I've never seen such ill will by adults to kids in my life! A good portion of the posts seem to be issues with BM. Although I have a wonderful relationship with my dsd bm, I can understand how issues can happen, but there have been a number of posts that were down right hostile toward the children! 

Grow up! As an adult YOU have the ability to over look  and deal with issues with kids. If your step child annoys you,  fights other kids, or other issues, so what? What would your reaction be if it was your bio kid doing these things? You reaction should be about the same. If you show love and understanding to your own kids, you should show the same love and compassion for your step child.

As a step parent, I LOVE my step daugher and her mother. I am greatful and honored this woman shares what is most pesious to her with me. If my dsd has a child it will be my grandchild as much as if it had my blood in it.

Where are all the step moms who love their step child as their own?

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:49 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't think you have to 'love them like your own' to be happy.

To answer your question, I'm pretty happy being a SM.

I do rag about the irritating stuff BM does, but if I'm being honest she's not nearly as bad as she was in the beginning (and compared to some of the BM's on here she qualifies for sainthood).
caligirl7613
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:51 PM
3 moms liked this
i do. she is 6 and i do my best to make no distinction between my bio kids and her. between SO and myself we have 3 kids (nd one on the way) my SD is right in the middle. they are 7 6 and 5. she is sweet, very affectionate and is a little hyper but hey..shes 6. i have to admit as far as BM drama there is NONE. SDs bio mom left when SD was 1 (before i met SO) and she has not been seen or heard from since. has never even bothered to call and see if SD is alive
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lovelytm
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM


Well it's good to hear a sm who loves all their kids the same. It seems like such a rare attitude on here.

Quoting caligirl7613:

i do. she is 6 and i do my best to make no distinction between my bio kids and her. between SO and myself we have 3 kids (nd one on the way) my SD is right in the middle. they are 7 6 and 5. she is sweet, very affectionate and is a little hyper but hey..shes 6. i have to admit as far as BM drama there is NONE. SDs bio mom left when SD was 1 (before i met SO) and she has not been seen or heard from since. has never even bothered to call and see if SD is alive



caligirl7613
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:08 AM
does she get on my nerves??? sure she does, but hell my bio kids do too. dont do something for my bio kids that i cant or wont do for her. my biggest problem i have is comparing my bio daughter and my SD. my bio daughter is one of those "easy" kids, in the gifted class etc SD is very hyper, and not below average in school but not above. i have to remind myself alot all kids are different, and truthfully SD has been through ALOT with not having her bio mom, then moving alot because SO job (at the time) had him working out of town during the week so she would bounce from grandmas one week to auntie the next to cousin the next while SO had her on weekends while he was home. but she seems to be ok and a happy kid overall

Quoting lovelytm:


Well it's good to hear a sm who loves all their kids the same. It seems like such a rare attitude on here.


Quoting caligirl7613:

i do. she is 6 and i do my best to make no distinction between my bio kids and her. between SO and myself we have 3 kids (nd one on the way) my SD is right in the middle. they are 7 6 and 5. she is sweet, very affectionate and is a little hyper but hey..shes 6. i have to admit as far as BM drama there is NONE. SDs bio mom left when SD was 1 (before i met SO) and she has not been seen or heard from since. has never even bothered to call and see if SD is alive




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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:12 AM
1 mom liked this

I love SD, I love being her SM, I hate the drama that comes up due to BM's immaturity. But, there's nothing I can do, so I find ways to cope (ie, venting on here).

My SD is 13, she's a pretty awesome kid. None of the issues she has are anything huge, just normal 13 year old girl stuff. 

lovelytm
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:13 AM


She sound like a lucky girl to have so many loved ones.

Quoting caligirl7613:

does she get on my nerves??? sure she does, but hell my bio kids do too. dont do something for my bio kids that i cant or wont do for her. my biggest problem i have is comparing my bio daughter and my SD. my bio daughter is one of those "easy" kids, in the gifted class etc SD is very hyper, and not below average in school but not above. i have to remind myself alot all kids are different, and truthfully SD has been through ALOT with not having her bio mom, then moving alot because SO job (at the time) had him working out of town during the week so she would bounce from grandmas one week to auntie the next to cousin the next while SO had her on weekends while he was home. but she seems to be ok and a happy kid overall

Quoting lovelytm:


Well it's good to hear a sm who loves all their kids the same. It seems like such a rare attitude on here.


Quoting caligirl7613:

i do. she is 6 and i do my best to make no distinction between my bio kids and her. between SO and myself we have 3 kids (nd one on the way) my SD is right in the middle. they are 7 6 and 5. she is sweet, very affectionate and is a little hyper but hey..shes 6. i have to admit as far as BM drama there is NONE. SDs bio mom left when SD was 1 (before i met SO) and she has not been seen or heard from since. has never even bothered to call and see if SD is alive






leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:14 AM
6 moms liked this

I am a happy wife and mother, and so technically I am a happy stepmother. I don't love SS as my own, I am not required to and I couldn't because my children are my own, they are a part of me, I am responsible for them completely while I have no such responsibility for SS. SS is a great kid but my situation doesn't require an emotional investment from me, he has two involved parents.

lovelytm
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:22 AM
3 moms liked this

This is my point...as a step PARENT.You are still a parent. It's like saying I don't own any emotional investment in my adopted child because he/she is not part of me.

I just do not buy into that. 


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I am a happy wife and mother, and so technically I am a happy stepmother. I don't love SS as my own, I am not required to and I couldn't because my children are my own, they are a part of me, I am responsible for them completely while I have no such responsibility for SS. SS is a great kid but my situation doesn't require an emotional investment from me, he has two involved parents.



leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:36 AM
3 moms liked this

I am parent to the two children brought into this world, I didn't adopt my SS, he has two involved parents, you don't have to buy it, it is just a fact in all sense of the word.

Quoting lovelytm:

This is my point...as a step PARENT.You are still a parent. It's like saying I don't own any emotional investment in my adopted child because he/she is not part of me.

I just do not buy into that. 


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I am a happy wife and mother, and so technically I am a happy stepmother. I don't love SS as my own, I am not required to and I couldn't because my children are my own, they are a part of me, I am responsible for them completely while I have no such responsibility for SS. SS is a great kid but my situation doesn't require an emotional investment from me, he has two involved parents.




Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

lovelytm
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:47 AM


No, if you agree to be a step parent you should be exactly that, a parent in any capacity that bp's allow. 

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I am parent to the two children brought into this world, I didn't adopt my SS, he has two involved parents, you don't have to buy it, it is just a fact in all sense of the word.

Quoting lovelytm:

This is my point...as a step PARENT.You are still a parent. It's like saying I don't own any emotional investment in my adopted child because he/she is not part of me.

I just do not buy into that. 


Quoting leegirl_jm:

I am a happy wife and mother, and so technically I am a happy stepmother. I don't love SS as my own, I am not required to and I couldn't because my children are my own, they are a part of me, I am responsible for them completely while I have no such responsibility for SS. SS is a great kid but my situation doesn't require an emotional investment from me, he has two involved parents.






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