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How far do you live from your skids

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM
  • 32 Replies

I am often surprised by how often I see that the parents live so far away from each other.  My sister is married to a man that has 50/50 and the parents live 4 hours away from each other.  When the child starts school they will have to go back to court to decide where the kids will go to school. 

My DH and I never considered moving more than a short drive from the skids--- He even turned down better jobs due to it limiting his parenting time.  I didn't move the kids from my first marriage away from where we divorced until after he had moved out of the area.  I think the whole idea just perplexes me because it was such a priority to be able to be involved with everything for us. 

I have encouraged my sister and her husband to move to the same town BM lives in if the judge decides that the child will go to school there.  They are considering it- both BM and my BIL have good jobs- but I'm sure he could find another one there. 

How far do you live from your skids- and what are others opinions about this?

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:45 PM


This is a good idea (the move), even if the judge decides to give him custody. It is much better for the kids to have their parents live in the same town. When ECs and social life start to come into play, even EOWE will no longer work, when the distance is 4 hours. Imagine having to make that drive EOWE, even if you only have to make half the drive. 

My stepkids' mother lives in our town. she has lived in various places, 45 minutes away at the most, and even that was a PITA. My ex lives 20 minutes away.

When I was getting divorced (kids were 5 and 7), I petitioned for (and was granted) the right to move from NJ to CT where my parents live. The drive would have been about 3.5 hours, but if you consider that it would be friday nights and sunday nights, it would have been a horrible drive. I ended up not moving to CT, even though i would have liked to be near my parents, but I just couldn't face the prospect of that long drive EOWE (even if we split it).

Quoting looneytunes290:


I have encouraged my sister and her husband to move to the same town BM lives in if the judge decides that the child will go to school there.  They are considering it- both BM and my BIL have good jobs- but I'm sure he could find another one there. 

How far do you live from your skids- and what are others opinions about this?



looneytunes290
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:52 PM

I agree- I don't think the judge will change custody.  What has been the going thing around here is that the judge decides where the child will attend school and then the other parent has to adjust.  My BIL still lives in the same home that the child was brought home to the hospital from. The judge is in the same jurisdiction as where they live.  My guess is that it will go in his favor.  I actually  think that BM should be responsible for moving back- if anyone moves- but if the judge decides for my neice to go to school where her BM lives it is likely that my BIL and sister will move there- and I think they should.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 my kids dad lives 7 hours away. the reason he lives far is because we both lived in our home town and he decided to move for better opportunities. we were divorced so there was nothing i could say or do, it was his business. a few years later i moved away.

my SO wouldnt move far from the skids either. and that is fine, i respect that. if my kids dad had felt that way when they were small, i would ahve respected that too.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I live 2 doors down the hall.

BM moved last year and is about 15 minutes from us.  She used to be 2.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:01 PM

 oh and my opinion is its none of my business how other ppl conduct their affairs. i do think its unfair when a CP wants to move far and the NCP doesnt agree, but i guess they will have to go to court or settle that between themselves.

looneytunes290
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:07 PM

 

I see where you are coming from.  My Dh had it specified that BM could not move the children more than 25 miles ( I think) from the home that they both resided in before the divorce.  Now- had she wanted to move further and give him custody- he would have been great with that.  If people like my sis and her hubby ask my opinion I don't mind offering it- but I understand that there are lots of different family specific variable that come into play with these situations.

Quoting faerie75:

 oh and my opinion is its none of my business how other ppl conduct their affairs. i do think its unfair when a CP wants to move far and the NCP doesnt agree, but i guess they will have to go to court or settle that between themselves.


 

dbush0584
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:14 PM

SD lives with us.  SS lives with his BioDad...long story...BM lives...IDK where but I know its in my city.

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:28 PM

My kids and SKs live with me.  My kids' Dad lives 30 min away and does most of the driving for his EOW and one night a week visits.

BM lives far away (over 1,000 miles) and only has 1 week visitation a year.  Given BM's antics, I am fortunate that she lives far away and never comes to our state to visit. 

Wicked.Jester
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:29 PM

They live with me 24/7/365

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:31 PM
I live 20 minutes from my ex. He works in another state though - a 4 hour flight. I'm thinking that his wife and SD stay here because of her ex and their custody situation. But technically he is not here very much these days. If he moves to where his job is i am not sure how it will effect our daughter. She likely will only see him during the holidays and summer.
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