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Do you get along with BM when at public events?

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:05 PM
Amy
  • 25 Replies

When it comes to things like sports, choir concerts (or band concerts), etc.  Are you able to get along with your step child's birth mom?  If not, how do you handle the situation?

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Momniscient
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:07 PM

You have to. It is the adults responsibility to behave civilly and appropriately for the sake of the children.

If one adult is acting like a child then do not engage in the situation.

looneytunes290
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:11 PM

I no longer go to events where BM will be.  She made it very obvious that my presence was not appreciated.  The kids used to want me to go but after the awkardness of being there they didn't seem to mind too much when I quit attending.  I basically just did what everyone wanted me to do- right- Except Dh, but he is a big boy.  He was going to events before I came on the scene, right?

looneytunes290
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:13 PM

 

I agree that one has to behave in a civil way.   However, if a sm's presence causes BM to  behave badly, then I think it is better for all concerned if the sm doesn't become involved in going to the events.

Quoting Momniscient:

You have to. It is the adults responsibility to behave civilly and appropriately for the sake of the children.

If one adult is acting like a child then do not engage in the situation.


 

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Yeah I get along w/her fine
Momniscient
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:15 PM
1 mom liked this

That's definitely a choice that SM can make.

Quoting looneytunes290:


I agree that one has to behave in a civil way.   However, if a sm's presence causes BM to  behave badly, then I think it is better for all concerned if the sm doesn't become involved in going to the events.

Quoting Momniscient:

You have to. It is the adults responsibility to behave civilly and appropriately for the sake of the children.

If one adult is acting like a child then do not engage in the situation.





pepper504
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Nope.  I do not acknowledge her nor do I have to be around her. 

Ex:  After SS15's baseball game (a few years ago), BM verbally attacked me and threatened many times "I'm going to kick your ass" in front of all of SS15's teammates, coaches and parents.  Humiliated the poor kid.  All because I would not allow SS to eat free nachos in my car.  SMH.  See, BM hates the mere sight of me.  It sets her off.  So, I've stopped going to events (and sadly DH has as well) that pertain to SS due to SS's mother not knowing how to act like a decent person in public.  As a SM, I put my SS first, whereas BM only puts herself first. 

As a BM, I get along well with my ex's GF.  No issues at all.  We all sit together at DD16's events. 

So, no, you don't HAVE to get along, but its nice when people put the kid[s] first and do.

NTMBeth
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM

 Just curious, what's an example of the BM behaving badly? 

 Quoting looneytunes290:

 

I agree that one has to behave in a civil way.   However, if a sm's presence causes BM to  behave badly, then I think it is better for all concerned if the sm doesn't become involved in going to the events.

Quoting Momniscient:

You have to. It is the adults responsibility to behave civilly and appropriately for the sake of the children.

If one adult is acting like a child then do not engage in the situation.

 

 

 

veggiemom474
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:21 PM

Yes, I don't like what she did to my husband when they were married, or her parenting methods. BUT, I can ignore those thoughts and we get along really well. We even went to back to school night together and sat at her children's desk side by side.

dbush0584
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:24 PM

*I* do....SHE doesnt.  She tries to talk shit really loud or something.  Normally I just laugh at her.  We told SS (at Sds softball game) that he was welcome to come over anytime he wanted.  She apparently heard and REALLY loud said "don't lie to him...he's not allowed at your house".  So I responded with "what I meant was that WE would LOVE for you to come over ANYTIME you want to...if your mom will not allow you then that is between y'all".

And another time she yelled at SO in front of a bunch of people, telling him he was a POS and that he never tried to see his kids (which he did...DAILY but she refused) and I told her that she was not married to him anymore and she would not talk to MY so that way.  Normally it's just little sideways comments and talking shit with whomever she is with.  She is out of the picture now so that is no longer a problem.

looneytunes290
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:27 PM

 

Well- the last event I attended was my osd high school graduation.  after the ceremony we patiently waited for BM and her family to finish with pictues- so we could do our own pics with both the sds and my husbands parents etc ( ya know like people do) Bm refused to let Ysd be in the photos because she said she didn't have time to wait around.  She was very rude about it-

 

Anyway that was just the last thing- She was just generally rude enough to me to make sure I knew my presence wasnt appreciated- I took the hint.  I also noticed that most of everything I ever attended my DH had invited me to- not the kids.  I think it just made things worse for them that I went to things-

Quoting NTMBeth:

 Just curious, what's an example of the BM behaving badly? 

 Quoting looneytunes290:

 

I agree that one has to behave in a civil way.   However, if a sm's presence causes BM to  behave badly, then I think it is better for all concerned if the sm doesn't become involved in going to the events.

Quoting Momniscient:

You have to. It is the adults responsibility to behave civilly and appropriately for the sake of the children.

If one adult is acting like a child then do not engage in the situation.

 

 

 


 

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