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CO addressing adult issues to be handled between adults

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:05 PM
  • 31 Replies

Does your CO (SO's/DH's) address discussions regarding material in the CO to only be addressed by adults only (not involving the kids)? BM filed a motion with the court for a few things, but DH wants to also ensure that other things he had noticed that were issues from the previous CO needed to be addressed. In his situation, BM has allowed SS to try and dictate the visitation schedule (such as asking to miss a visit for some reason with no follow up visitation date, OR BM has even tried to get SS out of visiting because "he doesn't want to come"). Also, BM is sending SS with information as the "messenger", such as the last time when she asked for SS to give DH football paperwork and wanted him to bring back money from DH. SS informed DH that BM had already paid for the football, so she was asking for reimbursement (to which she knows that if she paid for things, she needs to give DH a receipt).

If your CO addresses this, how is it worded in the CO?

by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pepper504
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:20 PM

The child shall not be used as a messenger between the parents.  As for her trying to change visitation, your DH has the right to tell her "no" and stick to the CO.  If she does not comply with his COed visitation, then he can file contempt charges on her.   

grits71
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 Your DH's atty should be able to word it the correct way in the counter to her complaint.  I would let him know what your DH would like and ultimately it's up to the judge to allow it in the modification or not.  We don't have that issue fortunately.

chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:25 PM

 My CO states that all issues as well as visitation schedules will be discussed via email and at no time in front of the children.

DH's CO states that nothing pertaining to the CO or litigation of the CO be discussed with the children or in front of the children.  Something like that anyway.

Really though.....people do what they want to do anyway and there's not much a judge will say in these cases other than grow-up and act like adults.

theshanster17
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:36 PM


Quoting pepper504:

The child shall not be used as a messenger between the parents.  As for her trying to change visitation, your DH has the right to tell her "no" and stick to the CO.  If she does not comply with his COed visitation, then he can file contempt charges on her.   

Yeah, I hate that too. DH always asks for the CO'd visitation time, unless there is a very good reason why it needs to be missed (EC, family emergency, etc). BM is currently in a phase where she doesn't want to communicate ANYTHING to DH at all, so she is using SS as a means to get messages to him (such as you owe this, etc etc).

theshanster17
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:50 PM


Quoting chasinrainbows:

 My CO states that all issues as well as visitation schedules will be discussed via email and at no time in front of the children.

DH's CO states that nothing pertaining to the CO or litigation of the CO be discussed with the children or in front of the children.  Something like that anyway.

Really though.....people do what they want to do anyway and there's not much a judge will say in these cases other than grow-up and act like adults.

That is GREAT! Did there have to be an explanation as to WHY communication will be via e-mail and not verbally? DH would love to have only written communication with BM, preferrably by e-mail only (with phone calls being for emergency only).

paulswifey11
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:52 PM
Not in co but in parenting time guidelines. Judge has had to try to reinforce that. Bm has that as a major issue.
paulswifey11
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Ours is like that so that we have proof of bm craziness

Quoting theshanster17:



Quoting chasinrainbows:

 My CO states that all issues as well as visitation schedules will be discussed via email and at no time in front of the children.


DH's CO states that nothing pertaining to the CO or litigation of the CO be discussed with the children or in front of the children.  Something like that anyway.


Really though.....people do what they want to do anyway and there's not much a judge will say in these cases other than grow-up and act like adults.

That is GREAT! Did there have to be an explanation as to WHY communication will be via e-mail and not verbally? DH would love to have only written communication with BM, preferrably by e-mail only (with phone calls being for emergency only).


theshanster17
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Quoting paulswifey11:

Ours is like that so that we have proof of bm craziness

Quoting theshanster17:



Quoting chasinrainbows:

 My CO states that all issues as well as visitation schedules will be discussed via email and at no time in front of the children.


DH's CO states that nothing pertaining to the CO or litigation of the CO be discussed with the children or in front of the children.  Something like that anyway.


Really though.....people do what they want to do anyway and there's not much a judge will say in these cases other than grow-up and act like adults.

That is GREAT! Did there have to be an explanation as to WHY communication will be via e-mail and not verbally? DH would love to have only written communication with BM, preferrably by e-mail only (with phone calls being for emergency only).



In our case, BM likes to go back on things she had said, or does stuff like, "I TOLD you already about this or that" when she hadn't said anything at all.
sid1083
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 7:07 PM

The only thing mine says is all communication between BPs is to be conducted through email only until both parties can maintain a cordial relationship. This includes scheduling any visitation.

chasinrainbows
by Gold Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 7:05 PM
I had that added to my CO in a recent modification because my ex always wanted to argue at exchange. The judge had absolutely no problem adding it into my CO. I also made sure it said "email only" because the texts had gotten out of hand. We call each other directly only when absolutely necessary and so far that has only been during transportation since we meet 1/2 way (300 miles altogether).
Quoting theshanster17:


Quoting chasinrainbows:

 My CO states that all issues as well as visitation schedules will be discussed via email and at no time in front of the children.

DH's CO states that nothing pertaining to the CO or litigation of the CO be discussed with the children or in front of the children.  Something like that anyway.

Really though.....people do what they want to do anyway and there's not much a judge will say in these cases other than grow-up and act like adults.

That is GREAT! Did there have to be an explanation as to WHY communication will be via e-mail and not verbally? DH would love to have only written communication with BM, preferrably by e-mail only (with phone calls being for emergency only).

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