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Be a freaking parent!

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:22 PM
  • 8 Replies
I seriously feel like BM is being, at best, a really crappy babysitter lately. I know that's harsh but the kids behavior and attitudes have gone downhill since she moved here 5 months ago. BM has the kids after school for a few hours and Rowe and the kids have told us what it's like over there. First off, my SD12 is failing 3 classes and has Ds in two others but BM had told us that she was doing homework at her house. Eh and I used to brag about how the kids will try any new food and how they enjoy a lot of healthy things, now they pretty much refuse to eat meals at all since they only eat junk food and snacks at BMs. And it's not even a question to whether these things are attributed to BMs influence, before she moved here we did not have these problems, now we do. The kids say they don't think of her as a Mom but more of a friend or sister, I'm beginning to understand why.
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Tx_stepmom
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this

That's what our BM is like.  No rules, nothing but junkfood galore, play video games, watch tv as much as you want.  What I call DISNEY MOM.  She was Disney Mom when she was custodial.  She doesn't know how to or even care about being a parent.  She's SS buddy, pal, friend.  Get used to it.  I'm raising SS.  I don't have enough time to raise her too.  The sad part, she's older than me!  SMH......

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 10:44 PM

I don't have any real advice.  Sorry that things have gotten rough these last few months. Sounds like the kiddos aren't adjusting so well to the new schedule and such.  What were they doing after school before she moved there?

As far as SD?  Sounds like it is time for you guys to start making sure SD's homework is complete and not just rely on the words of her and BM.  Has DH contacted her teachers and set up confrences?

rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 1:03 AM
Exactly. The thing is, with BM, it is temporary mist likely, but it's already done some damage. She is bipolar so her parenting methods range from completely withdrawn and uninvolved, to overbearing and high strong, to Disney mom. Occasionally she'll go through periods of near normalcy where she acts responsible and tries to be a good parent. Ugh, I definitely did not sign up for being BMs parent too. She is also older then me but it doesn't show.


Quoting Tx_stepmom:

That's what our BM is like.  No rules, nothing but junkfood galore, play video games, watch tv as much as you want.  What I call DISNEY MOM.  She was Disney Mom when she was custodial.  She doesn't know how to or even care about being a parent.  She's SS buddy, pal, friend.  Get used to it.  I'm raising SS.  I don't have enough time to raise her too.  The sad part, she's older than me!  SMH......


momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 1:49 AM
Why does she keep them after school? I know that sounds like a ridiculous question because she is their mom and all but if it is disruptive to the week flow (as it would be for me) why is she keeping them on the days that dh has them?


Quoting rocknmom85:

Exactly. The thing is, with BM, it is temporary mist likely, but it's already done some damage. She is bipolar so her parenting methods range from completely withdrawn and uninvolved, to overbearing and high strong, to Disney mom. Occasionally she'll go through periods of near normalcy where she acts responsible and tries to be a good parent. Ugh, I definitely did not sign up for being BMs parent too. She is also older then me but it doesn't show.




Quoting Tx_stepmom:

That's what our BM is like.  No rules, nothing but junkfood galore, play video games, watch tv as much as you want.  What I call DISNEY MOM.  She was Disney Mom when she was custodial.  She doesn't know how to or even care about being a parent.  She's SS buddy, pal, friend.  Get used to it.  I'm raising SS.  I don't have enough time to raise her too.  The sad part, she's older than me!  SMH......



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Graceplustwo
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 10:59 AM
Try to not let it get to you, remember they are HER kids and if she wants to feed them junk And let them fail, that's her decision unless dad steps in to talk to her about it. I can tell you care a lot and only want good things for the kids but try to remember she IS their mom regardless of how crappy of a mom she might be . She really does have the right to do what she want s unless it is puttinh them in danger. :/. Sucks because you have to deal with the results but only dad can say something to make it change. Good luck
rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 1:51 PM
Well, she takes them after school because it's either that or after school care. I get home at 4pm on a good day and DH gets home at 6pm, so we decided it made sense for her to take them since she only lives like a mile from our house.


Quoting momof2ex1:

Why does she keep them after school? I know that sounds like a ridiculous question because she is their mom and all but if it is disruptive to the week flow (as it would be for me) why is she keeping them on the days that dh has them?




Quoting rocknmom85:

Exactly. The thing is, with BM, it is temporary mist likely, but it's already done some damage. She is bipolar so her parenting methods range from completely withdrawn and uninvolved, to overbearing and high strong, to Disney mom. Occasionally she'll go through periods of near normalcy where she acts responsible and tries to be a good parent. Ugh, I definitely did not sign up for being BMs parent too. She is also older then me but it doesn't show.






Quoting Tx_stepmom:

That's what our BM is like.  No rules, nothing but junkfood galore, play video games, watch tv as much as you want.  What I call DISNEY MOM.  She was Disney Mom when she was custodial.  She doesn't know how to or even care about being a parent.  She's SS buddy, pal, friend.  Get used to it.  I'm raising SS.  I don't have enough time to raise her too.  The sad part, she's older than me!  SMH......




3sillykids
by Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 7:25 PM

Wow..sounds very similar! Sorry you are going through this, since I know first hand what it is like!

rocknmom85
by Silver Member on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:06 PM
Yeah, I know they are her kids which and I am sure beck not trying to take over at all but it's frustrating when you have spent the last 5 yrs raising them a certain way. BM just recently moved to town and honestly she is not even trying to be "the mom", she wants to be their friend and leave the parenting to DH and I. She even told SD that she is not able to make her a dental appt because she is under my insurance, so I need to take her to the dentist. But that is obviously not true and BM knows it, she just doesn't want to pay the co-pay. But yeah, I know she'll always be there mom and there is not much we can do to change her.


Quoting Graceplustwo:

Try to not let it get to you, remember they are HER kids and if she wants to feed them junk And let them fail, that's her decision unless dad steps in to talk to her about it. I can tell you care a lot and only want good things for the kids but try to remember she IS their mom regardless of how crappy of a mom she might be . She really does have the right to do what she want s unless it is puttinh them in danger. :/. Sucks because you have to deal with the results but only dad can say something to make it change. Good luck

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