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So hurt, and still am

Posted by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:13 PM
  • 29 Replies

So yesterday my SS who is almost 15 lashed out on me for the first time in 6 years..i still dont know the core reason why he did. He even told me that I never loved him, and that he might as well be back with his BM....this hurt me to the core...

Here is why and here is a back story. My SS came to be with bruises on him from his BMs BF....so after CPS got involved and his dad (my husband) was in jail for CS for back pay on same teen i was granted custody of him til he 18. His BM got charged with abuse and neglect. I have loved this child since the first day i met him,we have a very special bond. 

So when he told me this, meaning or not it still hurt me to the core. Even today it hurts me and i cant help but feel....angry and hurtful when he is in my presence. He said he didnt mean to say it..but he wouldnt of said it if he didnt think it....

by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crazymomma87
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I haven't had to deal with teenagers yet and I dread the day...but I do remember being a teenager and I remember being hormonal and saying some horrible things that I truly didn't mean to people I loved...at least he apologized so maybe try to accept his apology and move forward and realize he is a teenager and you might have to deal with some more of these comments in the near future
JerrysMom2011
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:22 PM

yea i realize he is a teenager, but i just..idk its hard for to me accept that he could say such things..even being a teenager to me...especially after the bond we share..even therapists have commented on the bond we share is something rare!

But i guess i have to just do like you said :(


Quoting crazymomma87:

I haven't had to deal with teenagers yet and I dread the day...but I do remember being a teenager and I remember being hormonal and saying some horrible things that I truly didn't mean to people I loved...at least he apologized so maybe try to accept his apology and move forward and realize he is a teenager and you might have to deal with some more of these comments in the near future



kristinbugg
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:23 PM
Can't blame the kid for lashing out. BOTH parents are guilty of failing this child. Dad can't be bothered to pay his CS and Mom is physically abusive.

Children, especially ones that have been neglected, abused or abandon extend to lash out at those who are the closest to them. In this case, it's you. Have you sought mental health services for thus child?

Why did Dad not pay CS?
sweet_pea_1116
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:25 PM
Angry emotional teens in the heat of the moment will say the thing they know will hurt you the most. I doubt it has a sliver of truth.
Andreaaa81
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:27 PM

He is 15 but he is still a child. They say things they don't mean. Sounds like he needs love with all the problems in his life. Try to let it go and do something to re-establish a bond with him. Maybe go out for dinner or something special like that and talk?

JerrysMom2011
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:30 PM

We did and we had some sessions. 

Now dad is a whole nother ballgame LOL..if i go into his issuses ill be in here all night ranting LOL. Dad deserved to go to jail lets just say that, i love the man...but i wont defend him on that.


Quoting kristinbugg:

Can't blame the kid for lashing out. BOTH parents are guilty of failing this child. Dad can't be bothered to pay his CS and Mom is physically abusive.

Children, especially ones that have been neglected, abused or abandon extend to lash out at those who are the closest to them. In this case, it's you. Have you sought mental health services for thus child?

Why did Dad not pay CS?



JerrysMom2011
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:32 PM

Yea, we will have to....


Quoting Andreaaa81:

He is 15 but he is still a child. They say things they don't mean. Sounds like he needs love with all the problems in his life. Try to let it go and do something to re-establish a bond with him. Maybe go out for dinner or something special like that and talk?



kristinbugg
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Good.

So many times, I see SMs defending the fact that their DHs do not financially support their children. It's nice to see a SM that doesn't.


Quoting JerrysMom2011:

We did and we had some sessions. 

Now dad is a whole nother ballgame LOL..if i go into his issuses ill be in here all night ranting LOL. Dad deserved to go to jail lets just say that, i love the man...but i wont defend him on that.



Quoting kristinbugg:

Can't blame the kid for lashing out. BOTH parents are guilty of failing this child. Dad can't be bothered to pay his CS and Mom is physically abusive.



Children, especially ones that have been neglected, abused or abandon extend to lash out at those who are the closest to them. In this case, it's you. Have you sought mental health services for thus child?



Why did Dad not pay CS?





JerrysMom2011
by on Oct. 13, 2013 at 11:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Heck he doesnt even support me or my kids LOL. No need to sit here and pretend like the all loyal wifey...


Quoting kristinbugg:

Good.

So many times, I see SMs defending the fact that their DHs do not financially support their children. It's nice to see a SM that doesn't.


Quoting JerrysMom2011:

We did and we had some sessions. 

Now dad is a whole nother ballgame LOL..if i go into his issuses ill be in here all night ranting LOL. Dad deserved to go to jail lets just say that, i love the man...but i wont defend him on that.



Quoting kristinbugg:

Can't blame the kid for lashing out. BOTH parents are guilty of failing this child. Dad can't be bothered to pay his CS and Mom is physically abusive.



Children, especially ones that have been neglected, abused or abandon extend to lash out at those who are the closest to them. In this case, it's you. Have you sought mental health services for thus child?



Why did Dad not pay CS?







momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 1:17 AM
2 moms liked this
Sometimes kids say mean things to the people they love. They take their anger and frustration out on the people they feel the safest with. It's part of being a parent unfortunately. I have not reached the teen state quite yet but I know and remember that I was awful to my mom. I specifically remember telling her that I hated her. She had taken my car away from me. She 'ruined' my life and I was so certain that was her plan all along. My mom just continued to love me and support me. She continued being my mom even when I was extremely mean and hurtful towards her. Cause that's what moms do.
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