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Is this gift appropriate for siblings?

Posted by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:57 AM
  • 21 Replies
Today at her Birthday party SD got a necklace from her brother. It is one of those where each kid wears the other half (hearts or in this case wings). It says in a little heart attached to the wing BFF. When she opened her gift her brother made sure to show her he was wearing the matching one. SD thinks this is the best and bragged and showed it off all day.
I am horrified. My DH says its is OK because it is wings not a heart.
So what do all of you think? Is this gift appropriate? Am I overreacting?

There is back story on these kids. SS lives with MIL (who is probably responsible for the gift idea) because of inappropriate sexual behavior between the two skids that took place two years ago. The kids are three years apart in age. MIL has been trying to get rid of me (I'm trying not to overreact to this for this reason) and doesn't think the skids have any issues anymore. Yet neither have been to counciling except by her church.

If you feel this gift isn't appropraite for these kids is a gift like this ever appropraite for any brother/sister?
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
OregonMom80
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:04 AM
I would have thought it was cute until you told me the backstory. Some "curiosity"is normal with young kids, but I'm going to guess this was much worse if they had to be separated.
emszoo
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:51 AM
Oh yeah it was bad and it was going on before I started dating their father. We were married a year when they were caught at his mothers house. They are now 11 & 14. Apparently they started at 7 &10 while in the care of his mother. I suspected something was going on but could never prove anything and I didn't dare make an accusations without proof because his mother hates me.
lnr187
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:19 AM

i agree it's odd. but i wouldn't get too worried about it. it's just a necklace. i'd be much more worried about their relationship. i assume they're never left alone together anymore.

JustaSM231
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:27 AM
Why aren't these kids in counseling!? Regardless of whose custody they are in, a bio parent needs to step up and get both of these kids help!!! Outside of MIL's church!!
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 9:27 AM

Without the backstory,  I see no issue with the gift, my sister is my BFF.

emszoo
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:07 PM
MIL is a sociopath. She has DH fooled on so much. He has had one therapist tell him to save his kids he needs to get far away from her. One of the reasons she hates me is I can see her for what she really is. Too bad it took me over a year to catch on. Go look up female sociopaths they are really slick, most of us never see it coming.
Not that I excuse DH. I think he should have listened to that therapist. Both of these kids need proffessional help and church people are not qualified. We should ALL be in counciling so we can deal with what the skids were doing and learn to prevent it in the future.
When in MIL's care they are left alone. She tells DH they are not but over and over again I always find out later when SD slipps and accidently tells that they are alone together.
When confronted MIL makes up lies, says skids are lying, accuses me of lying, causing trouble, twisting words etc. She has a story, excuse and justification for everything she does no matter how crazy or out of line her actions are.
I was curious to see not only what everyone thought about these kids in this situation giving each other gifts like this but siblings in general too. If the kids are the oposite sex do you guys think of this type of gift differently than if they were the same sex?
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:25 PM

No, a sibling is a sibling, no matter the gender.

Quoting emszoo:

If the kids are the oposite sex do you guys think of this type of gift differently than if they were the same sex?


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:29 PM

With the back story it is a little iffy, but generally I see nothing wrong with the gift. I wish my older two felt like that it seems they are always at each others throats lately.

macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Hoping the gift is harmless but with the back story it does make me concerned.

Another concern though would be why did mil ever have custody and why does you dh still allow her so much control when it comes to the kids?
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emszoo
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:36 PM
I grew up with only sisters. The skids relationship with eachother is so abnormal that I know it has distorted my view of what is normal and appropraite behavior for brothers and sisters. I'm glad I am getting some feedback on this question.
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