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Encouraged by SM

Posted by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 9:48 AM
  • 20 Replies
3 moms liked this
At drop off this weekend I met SM and, yet again, it was an encouraging experience.

She started off by apologizing for texting me so often instead of BF. She explained that bf often forgets to text me about pick up times and she just takes the reigns. I laughed and said, "well, we're moms and just better at that kind of thing".

Its nice having a level of respect between us. I understand she's the woman/mother of that house and she understands that I'm the custodial parent. And I don't get my panties in a bunch when she picks up bf's slack because in any marriage the man and woman naturally take on different roles that compliment one another and it actually makes bf more reliable when it comes to my DS so its only a benefit to him.

And considering the crap dH & I put up with HIS ex, its really nice to have some sanity and mature adult contact in these situations!
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by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 9:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
runinpinkshoes
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 10:12 AM
2 moms liked this

Wow, what an awesome BM you are! I wish BM in my situation was like you! big smile mini

Graceplustwo
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 10:26 AM
Nice :)
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Oct. 20, 2013 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

How is a gf or sm the mother of the house to your kids?  

I'll never understand that statement or agree with it even if I did, I think.   

SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting packermom4ever:

How is a gf or sm the mother of the house to your kids?  

I'll never understand that statement or agree with it even if I did, I think.   

Cause that is what works for them. She doesn't feel the need to micromanage her kids.

Mommy0505
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:49 PM

 In that house there is BF, SM and their 2 kids as well as my DS eowe.

In that setting, she is the woman of the house.  That is indisputable.  Her & BF make the rules of their home.  Just because my son goes there every other weekend doesn't mean she would suddenly not be in that role. 

I respect that, as a woman, she would assume certain roles and responsibilities in her own home.  Again, regardless of if my child is there.  Just as I handle my household calendar/activities because that's what works for DH & me, that role might better suite her rather than BF in their household.  And who am I to complain that she's a good influence on my son's father, resulting in bf being a little more punctual and on the ball?? 


Quoting packermom4ever:

How is a gf or sm the mother of the house to your kids?  

I'll never understand that statement or agree with it even if I did, I think.   


 

samtatum145
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:59 PM
2 moms liked this

She's the mother of THAT house.. whether you like it or not, the woman with your child's father shouldn't have to just stand back and watch everything happen without her input. A household shouldn't be so lopsided. When my daughter goes to her father's house, the step-mom is the mom of the house. She does the cooking, the cleaning, gives my daughter a bath and reads her bedtime stories. I love knowing that my daughter is cared for and loved instead of dispised when she leaves my care. My ex's wife and I get along GREAT and sometimes we'll leave her home with him and do lunch and a movie or something.

You don't always have to hate the other women in your child's life.

I read your post on "My choice," though, and I am sorry that you were hurt so badly. I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive people when they make mistakes in life.


Quoting packermom4ever:

How is a gf or sm the mother of the house to your kids?  

I'll never understand that statement or agree with it even if I did, I think.   



busymommy2013
by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 1:59 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree with you fully on this. I don't understand why so many moms get bent out of shape about step moms. I can see if they're mean and abusive, but seriously....I know my son loves me. He knows I am his mother. I don't feel the need to reinforce my role. I am stable in knowing that I am mom, and I am also step mom to two children as well. When my son goes to his dads, I would only expect that his step mother keeps a motherly role too. Its healthy for my son.
BasketballMama8
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:08 PM

That is so nice.. I dont really communicate with their SM like that, however I do respect her and encourage the kids to respect her rules. She is great to my children and they love her. I think shes pretty cool

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:11 PM



Quoting Mommy0505:

 In that house there is BF, SM and their 2 kids as well as my DS eowe.

In that setting, she is the woman of the house.  That is indisputable. 

Woman of the house, I get.  Mother? If she has her own kids she is a mother, sure.  But I wouldn't refer to another woman a mother to my kids just because she was a woman in a house with my children.

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Oct. 20, 2013 at 2:16 PM



Quoting samtatum145:

She's the mother of THAT house.. whether you like it or not, the woman with your child's father shouldn't have to just stand back and watch everything happen without her input.

You're adorable when you're adament about something that isn't true.  

The woman with my kid's father is his wife or gf.  Not the mother of THAT house where my kids are concerned.  My kids have a mother at all times.  If, in that house, another woman said to do something that mom says they can't, they get to say "my mother says I can't"... her input is irrelevant to me.  


A household shouldn't be so lopsided. When my daughter goes to her father's house, the step-mom is the mom of the house. She does the cooking, the cleaning, gives my daughter a bath and reads her bedtime stories. I love knowing that my daughter is cared for and loved instead of dispised when she leaves my care. My ex's wife and I get along GREAT and sometimes we'll leave her home with him and do lunch and a movie or something.

So you're one of those who believes that only women can cook and clean and that men can't bathe their children?  In other words, sexist?  

I expected my ex to take care of our kids since he was and is the parent.  She could have been the nice lady with my ex, I wouldn't have cared.  But him having a woman shouldn't negate his responsibilities where the kids are concerned.

You don't always have to hate the other women in your child's life.

It isn't about hate.  There are plenty of women in my kid's lives.  Only one ever had a problem with her place.  

I think people can get along, no problem.  I just don't think women should allow the parent to not take care of their kids or communicate with the other parent.

I read your post on "My choice," though, and I am sorry that you were hurt so badly. I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive people when they make mistakes in life.


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