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Getting teen boys to mind and understand good hygiene

Posted by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 6:10 PM
  • 24 Replies

Hello everyone.  I was so excited to see this site that I am hoping will encourage yet discipline my step sons.  Ranging from doing as they are asked (i.e.  please flush the toilet, please do not scream at me,  please respect your dad....shall I go on?  Thank you for this great opportunity to hopefully express my frustration.

by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 6:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 6:17 PM
3 moms liked this

If their dad can't get them to respect him what makes you think they will respect you?

JustaSM231
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 6:19 PM
Welcome, but I think you will find that the women on here will tell you you don't have a stepchild problem, you have a husband problem. He needs to be doing the discipline and correcting on his children not you. I speak as a stepmom only with a few years and grey hairs under my belt and this advice is to try to save you some frustration. Speak with DH and mutually come to an understanding of what you both expect your roles to be and then leave his kids to him to handle. You need to simply be respectful and tolerant.

How old are your step kids? How often does DH see them? How long have you been married? Do you have any children Of your own or with DH?
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Oct. 20, 2013 at 6:35 PM

It is not up to you to make them respect their father.  He needs to do that.  He needs to make them respect you.  It starts with the parent, not the parent's spouse.

pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:28 PM

How long have you been married?  Are there oter kids in the house?

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:38 PM

How long have you been married? Did dad expect them to respect adults and behave BEFORE you came into the picture? What's the custody arrangement?

Lovemyhusband10
by New Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 2:11 PM

Well, here I go...We have been married 16 months; the boys live with us full time (their mother has a new baby and doesnt have time for them)  It was just the boys and my husband before I came along.  I have no children of my own, and he knew when he met me that I wasn't a child person.  I'm trying everything in my power, not with materialistic things, but by listening, doing the laundry, cleaning their rooms, taking care of their animals, which include snakes and rats, taking them hither and yon (my mom used to say that), and anything else you could ask.  I initially cooked three different meals for them to make everyone happy.  I have since stopped.  Yes, I am in therapy.  Thank you for listening.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Continue with this thought and don't do anything.  Let Dad handle his kids.

Quoting Lovemyhusband10:
 I have no children of my own, and he knew when he met me that I wasn't a child person.



jules2boys
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 2:33 PM
1 mom liked this

How old are these boys? 

Did DH marry you to be 'mom' to his boys or did he marry you because he wanted you for his wife?  Those roles can be separate (and should be).  You said you aren't a 'child person', so, like WifeyC said, stick with that.  The boys are DHs.  Stop doing for them.  Why are YOU caring for their animals?  If they're old enough for animals, they're old enough for their care, and if not, that's dad's job, not yours. 

I did have to laugh, just at your title here.  Getting teens (boys or girls) to mind and understand good hygiene... good luck with that!  You're jumping into this situation long after those habits should have been started for them (by BM AND BF) and yet, it sometimes STILL takes years for those lessons taught to be utilized by the teens themselves.  That's the nature of teens.  They'll discover girls (or boys, if that's their preference) and that's when better hygiene will kick in... not when some 'adult' tells them (adult could be BF/BM, you, a teacher, etc.).   

What role did DH expect you to take when you married him?  What role did you expect to take when you married DH? 

Welcome! 

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 7:00 PM

It might be too late if they are teens and have been alowed to be disrespectful and gross for years.

But is it the normal teen "disrespect" or is it more?

chasinrainbows
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 8:25 PM
Lol I have a son that is 14 and I have to constantly stay on him about hygiene. Everything else you said is normal for teen boys whether they are bio kids or step kids.
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