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Room issues

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:45 PM
  • 34 Replies

I need a fresh perspective on this, because I like to keep an open mind and I'm trying to make things go as smooth as possible for all of us. 

I have one daughter (age 7)...she lives with me and my fiance. My fiance has three kids (two daughters, 11 and 10, and a son who is 8), they live with their mother in another state. We get the kids for a few days for Thanksgiving, a week and a half at Christmas, a few days at Easter, and 1-2 months during the summer. 

My fiance and I just moved into a 3-bedroom house. We have the big bedroom, my daughter has the medium-sized bedroom next to ours, and then there's a small bedroom in the back of the house that we use as an office/guest room right now. My fiance and I are trying to figure out how and where to put all the kids (for rooming) when his kids are here visiting. The thing is, we're disagreeing on some things. 

First, his two daughters FLIPPED out when he told them that we moved into a 3-bedroom house. They were really upset that we didn't get a 5-bedroom (WAY beyond what we could afford here) so that they can all have their own rooms. So now my fiance actually feels guilty. I feel like it's a little ridiculous that they were THAT upset over it, considering they don't live here and would only use the rooms very sparingly. But I digress, I understand that they are still children, but I was shocked at their anger over this. I have a stepdaughter (who is now 20) from my previous marriage, she and I are close and always have been, I raised her, etc...and she never acted like this. She was always very understanding about the fact that she never had a room of her own (except for when she lived WITH us...other than that period of time, she didn't get her own room with us when she visited, which was every other weekend and every single holiday...she slept in my daughter's (her sister's) room or sometimes she even chose the living room couch. She was always totally fine with that and never complained or felt slighted. And my daughter has never had her own room at her dad's house either and very likely never will, she's fine with that and so am I, we understand. But all kids are different and it just happens that my fiance's daughters are very upset and want their own rooms. Not going to happen at all at this point, though...so we need to figure something out. 

Since there's no way all 4 of the kids can have their own bedrooms, some of them will NEED to share. Here are some of our better ideas.....

1) Two kids sleep in my daughter's room, two sleep in the guest room (we'd buy bunk beds for each room or at least a bunk bed for my daughter's room and then a queen-size futon/couch for the back bedroom/guest room). 

or

2) One of the rooms would be a "sleeping room" with just bunk beds and their clothes and such, and then the other room would be the "play/toy room" with all the toys and games and such. 

The only problem with Option #2 is that it makes sense during the small amounts of time that my fiance's kids are with us, but when the kids go home it would be a little weird for my daughter to then have her room with all/only bunk beds and none of her toys (all of her toys would be in the back bedroom). When we'd have guests over, she would have to share her room (they'd have to sleep on the bunk beds where she'd be sleeping and most adults don't really like sleeping on bunk beds, especially older adults). She wouldn't really get a normal room. But the good thing about Option #2 is that I like the idea of having the back bedroom be a toy room/office all the time. That's how I grew up...with my sister and I sharing a "sleeping room" that had just our beds and clothes and necessities, and then we had a "play room" with all our toys and stuff. And my daughter would have those extra beds if she ever wants to have sleepovers. On the other hand, the good thing about Option #1 would be that my daughter would still have a somewhat normal room of her own when the kids aren't here and the back bedroom could still be used as a guest room with a couch (that turns into a bed).

There were other ideas...but those were nixed for being way too big a pain in the butt or just plain ridiculous. But do these ideas sound reasonable? Does anyone else have any other suggestions or ideas? Thanks! 


by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Meg_the_Mermaid
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:45 PM

oh my gosh, I'm sorry it's so long! lol

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Why not do option 2 when the skids are there and then switch it back to your daughter having her room when they aren't there
Meg_the_Mermaid
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 2:49 PM

Well, if we did Option 2, we would just leave the two bunk beds (so, four beds altogether) in my daughter's current room and leave the toys/etc in the smaller back room, all the time, like year-round. My daughter would just have three extra beds in her bedroom, but all her toys would always be in the other room. No sense in moving things back and forth. I don't want to move bunk beds and toys in and out of the room a few times a year, especially when there are going to be three times a year when the kids are only staying about a week or less.

Quoting faerie75:

Why not do option 2 when the skids are there and then switch it back to your daughter having her room when they aren't there


Motherof3inNJ
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Why not give all 3 girls the master bedroom which you said was the largest? Your DD can have all her stuff in there plus a set of bunk beds for SD's. Then you and DH can sleep in the medium sized room and SS can have the small room and if you buy him a double bed that could be the guest room when he's not with you.
KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 3:04 PM
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I would say that your dd should have a normal bedroom that would include all of her belongings. Then, when skids come to visit, they can squeeze in somewhere. Look into getting a pull out couch, air mattresses, a larger bed in the guest bedroom, and/or a combination of those things or similar things. I would not have a room dedicated to kids who only visit a few times a year when there isn't space for that.
jules2boys
by Gold Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 3:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Pull out couch, air mattresses, etc. for when your SKids visit and set up the house as you wish the rest of the time. 

Give DD the smaller room, but have all of her things in there.  Set up medium size room as an office, but could also hold air mattresses or something when the SKids visit, or perhaps put a futon in there and get DD a trundle bed or something?  Camping cots (splurge and get some really nice ones, larger sizes for when others visit as well?) aren't bad, and can fold up when not needed and be kept in the garage, attic, or whatever you have available. 

How often do you have house guests that need beds, besides your SKids visits?  Is this really something to have 'all the time' or is this a 'once a year' deal?  Can't those visiting get a motel room instead? 

In the not too distant future, the SS should NOT be sharing a room with the girls (his sisters) anyway.  SDs14/13 aren't going to want to share with their brother who's 11 then.  Yet, your SS11 shouldn't share with your DD10 then either. 

Maybe ALL kids can 'camp out' in the living room when the SKids come to visit? 

Otherwise, I'd say DD gets the medium size room, and the girls share with her (cots, air mattress or something) when they are there, and SS gets the smaller room (futon, air mattress, cot, etc.) in the office when they are there.  And don't plan on house guests often. 

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 4:24 PM

Option 1 with a queen in the guest room would be how I went. 

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Quoting KnowItAll:

I would say that your dd should have a normal bedroom that would include all of her belongings. Then, when skids come to visit, they can squeeze in somewhere. Look into getting a pull out couch, air mattresses, a larger bed in the guest bedroom, and/or a combination of those things or similar things. I would not have a room dedicated to kids who only visit a few times a year when there isn't space for that.
Honestly, this is what I was thinking. Give the girls the biggest room and the lone boy the smallest and you guys take the middle. That way there is enough room for DD's bed, bunks for the SD's AND DD won't have to move back and forth. It would probably get a bit awkward for your DD and SS in a few years to spend 1-2 months together every summer... in the same room... since they are not related at all...
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 4:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Quite honestly since they are hardly ever there-I'd suggest rollaway cots or air mattresses.

pepper504
by Gold Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:06 PM


Quoting KnowItAll:

I would say that your dd should have a normal bedroom that would include all of her belongings. Then, when skids come to visit, they can squeeze in somewhere. Look into getting a pull out couch, air mattresses, a larger bed in the guest bedroom, and/or a combination of those things or similar things. I would not have a room dedicated to kids who only visit a few times a year when there isn't space for that.

This.

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