DH in mediation right now re: CS - would love some insight!
DH is in mediation as we speak. What have been your experiences on this? It's the first I've ever encountered the need for it.
I'll give a little backstory and I'd love to hear some feedback on his situation if you've been through something similar. And I apoogize if I sound DH-biased in what I recount - it's only because I only see what DH spends, I'm not privy to BM's finances. It's also worth noting that he and I have separate finances so none of this impacts me directly. (If anyone needs to know the salaries are DH $78K and BM $50K).
So - it all boils down to CS (doesn't it always?) :). DH has 40% custody, BM has 60%. The CO states DH is to pay $900/mo to BM + half medical. "No other transfers to be made" is what the rest says in that regard.
When DH and I first got together, he conveyed to me that the CS agreement works for him because it means BM does all the school shopping, takes care of the little things, etc with the CS and that saves him having to do it.
However, ever since I've known him (2.5 years), he's always done his own school shopping for the kids, because he wants them to have clothes over here. Totally get that. He also pays half of any extracurriculars, because BM asks but also just because he doesn't want them to miss out on opportunities. Again, I get it. He also tends to pick up the slack just because he is generous whereas BM is not - for instance, if one of the kids drops a phone, he replaces it, etc. Because BM refuses to.
Obviously he also incurs expenses when he has the kids - and being almost 50/50 custody the child support sets him back quite a bit more than if he were still married and just supporting 1 household, as he's supporting them when he has them as well as when BM has them.
So, this arrangement of splitting everything 50/50 (plus the CS payment) was working fine until this September, when the kids told us that BM said it was DH's responsibility to buy the school clothes. BM hadn'tbought them anything, which was news to us. Before this announcement, DH had bought them each 2 shirts, 1 pants, and 1 shoes - because he wanted to. He hadn't realized it had become an "expectation".
So when DH declined on purchasing iPad insurance for SS13, BM asked if he was then willing to pay the replacement cost if the iPad was destroyed, to which DH responded "Isn't the insurance what CS is for?" (Because after the school clothes incident he was questioning just what it was being used for).
So now BM is taking him to mediation to dispute just what CS is supposed to cover.
So, my question is, if the CO says DH is to pay $900 + half medical and no other transfers, IS he obligated to pay half of everything else? (Given he does support them when he has them).