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"We" - meaning mom/dad...

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 12:54 AM
  • 59 Replies

From another place in internet land: 

SM is hurt because dad used the word "we" when referring to how he and mom were handling something with their children who were doing some pretty questionable things.  She said the only "we" that should exist is SM/dad and most agreed with that poster that dad was wrong.

1) How do people feel about that when the parents are trying to raise their kids together and work things out?  Is that not a "we" situation when you are working together for your kids?

2) Is it okay for the dad/mom to use the word "we" when talking to their ex about the kids that mom/dad share?  If so, why is it okay for the SP to be a we where other people's children are concerned, but not the parents for their own children?

3) How are parents, who are discussing what they are doing with their ex regarding their children, supposed to refer to the pair of them working together?

4) Would it just be better for those who don't want to hear that word just be kept out of the loop altogether?

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 12:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:01 AM
3 moms liked this

I think there will always be a "we" when discussing the parents of a child. Not being together doesn't take away the fact that THEY are still the parents.

I talk about "we" when SD and I do things. The term "we" just means more than one person, it doesn't signify a type of relationship between the people.

Sounds like SM has some jealousy issues and control issues with her DH. 

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:08 AM
1 mom liked this
If they are both parenting, then there will be a we.

There is a we for DH and me when it comes to the kids also. It's like a Venn diagram. Some things are just them. Some things are just us and some things are all three of us.

Yeah if someone gets that bent out of shape there's a problem.
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah that SM doesn't trust her DH.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

I think there will always be a "we" when discussing the parents of a child. Not being together doesn't take away the fact that THEY are still the parents.

I talk about "we" when SD and I do things. The term "we" just means more than one person, it doesn't signify a type of relationship between the people.

Sounds like SM has some jealousy issues and control issues with her DH. 

Sunshine257
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 3:58 AM
That is a little overboard. She sounds a bit insecure.
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:27 AM
2 moms liked this

If a SP feels this way then that is a good indicator they should not be marrying someone with kids.

Quoting packermom4ever:
.  She said the only "we" that should exist is SM/dad and most agreed with that poster that dad was wrong.


kellynh
by Kelly on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Seems pretty simple... 

There is always a "we" between BF and BM in regards to the kids.

There is always a "WE" in regards to anything marital between DH and SM.

If I go out with my friends, "we" make plans.

I think if a SM has a problem with a word used between parents, it's pretty anal and she should seek therepy.

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:45 AM
2 moms liked this
There is no reason for SM to feel hurt but she does, so I think it best her DH not use the 'we' word to her unless he is referring to SM and DH.

In 10 years my husband has never used that 'we' to me but he and BM aren't really a 'we'.
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Kaminoyousha
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:55 AM
2 moms liked this
Seeing I had sole custody... There was never a WE.
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:56 AM

This is literally one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read. How does one get butt hurt over the proper use of the term "we"?

leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I actually expect that DH not use the 'we' word when speaking to either woman.
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