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What do you do with them?

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:19 PM
  • 38 Replies

Okay, so my SD is old and has her own kids... BUT my sister has a step daughter and I have a question.

I see many step parents post that the kids take their gifts home, like bdays or christmas, my sister and her husband always kept the gifts at their home (that came from them and her mom kept the gifts that came from her at her home). If my niece wanted to take something home or bring something to their house all she had to do was ask. They never just sent her home with all of her new stuff though.

So how does it work in your home? Do they get to take their gifts to mom/dads or do they have to leave it at the house they recieved it from?

by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ldee78
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:22 PM
My husband has decided that all gifts received here stays here. In the past when his children did take them with them, their mother would throw them away or burn them. It made the children feel horrible.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this
We keep our stuff at our house for my dd and her dad keeps his stuff. Both homes are her homes and she needs things at both homes to feel that she is a part of the family and not just visiting.
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Mommy4000
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:26 PM

My step daughter has always taken her gifts with her.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:29 PM

We've mostly kept stuff bought for her here, here and BM has kept stuff bought for SD there, there.

Over the years we've sent stuff with SD to BM's house and those things get "lost" or "ruined and thrown away".  So, things stopped going to BM's house.

Now, SD is older and is better at keeping track of her things and being more responsible on her own, so we've let some things go back and forth (she takes her iPhone with her, and so far no issues, but she's only had it 3 months). 

TJandKarasMom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:39 PM

My kids (DS and SD) keep their stuff from us here because they live here.  DS doesn't get much in the way of gifts at BFs, sometimes it's like an itunes gc which he brings home because his ipod is here and it's my account he uses.  An amazon gift card, BF helps him spend it online and sends the stuff here since he lives here and doesn't want younger siblings getting into his stuff.

SD doesn't visit BM, but the last time she did it was for Christmas a couple years ago, and she opened a whole bunch of gifts and didn't get to bring a single thing home.  I think they were more for her younger sister whom BM thought she would be getting custody of (which she didn't...so she has a bunch of little girl toys and no little girls that she takes visits with).

When the kids were younger, we had 50/50 of both and we kept our gifts here and gifts the OPs bought stayed at their house...but since the kids were at both houses equally, it made sense to have toys and clothes at both houses.  Now that one never goes to the other house and the other only spends 48 hrs a month there, there is no need for them to have anything there.

Lorena
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:45 PM
We keep most of their stuff that we get them. They have a tote of things they are allowed to take to bm with them since they don't have any toys there. Only problem is she won't let them bring it back home and then they either never see it again or it is broken when they go back over there. If she does buy them something she makes a big stink over it and it is not allows to come here. If she does send clothes home with them she writes their names in big black magic marker then gets mad because they don't want to ware it.
KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:51 PM
My kids live with me and visit dad's eowe. They are free to take any of their things with them when they go. They often bring things home from his house so I assume they bring what they want and leave what they want. I'm sure when they were younger BD had rules about what they could bring home and what they couldn't.
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:52 PM
DH and I allow the kids to take stuff back and forth. We figure at their ages (11 & 15) they're old enough to be responsible for their own things. BM (NCP) on the other hand won't, idky. This past Sunday when they came home OSS was fumin mad b/c BM wouldn't let him bring his iPod home.
pepper504
by Gold Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:53 PM

Things sometimes go back and forth depending on what it is.  DD16 is responsible enough to make sure to bring it back to wherever it came from.


faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 4:12 PM

 at first we kept our own gifts at our home. but later when BM wasnt acting as petty and things were more civil, now we dont care. more expensive things like the ps3 we keep at our house but anything else they can take freely. including clothes. we keep clothes for them here and BM has clothes for them so if they want to take an item we dont care because there is plenty of other clothing items. they dont take a bag back and forth.

with my bio kids, dad sent whatever he got them to my house becuase they were rarely at their dads. he lived far. (they are older now)

 
        
         

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