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18 and out of the house?!

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 7:32 PM
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Growing up my father always said....he couldn't wait for us to turn 18 because he was gonna kick us all out..and once Fluffy graduated-it would be just him and mom at home.

Needless to say...that didn't happen.

The other day I asked hubby "What would you say, if we were 45 yrs old, and I came to you and said "Guess what, we're gonna have a baby!"

He just turned calmly around, and said "I am counting down the days until the kids are 18 and out of this house so I can freely chase you around nekkid, why would I want to add more time?!"

We had a discussion later on that night,I asked him "What kind of people do you think your kids will be when they're 18, living on their own?"

he said honestly he wasn't sure if they would leave at 18. He thinks sd12 would be the one to take off and spread her wings, but ss7 would stay at home until he was ready to be on his own. It's no secret-SS7 is a daddy's boy.

Makes me wonder if the skids would be ready to leave at 18 or not.

I graduated high school in June, turned 19 in July, and moved out of my parent's house in October.

My middle sister was 17 when she moved out. The younger two (27 and 19 respectively) are still living at home.

Do you think your (s)kids will be ready to leave the nest at 18?!

**My daughter isn't an option in any of this, because of her multiple handicaps, she'll live with me under my care until I am no longer physically able to handle her**

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 7:32 PM
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by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 7:44 PM
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This was never really something people considered where I grew up. Eighteen was when you started college - hardly a time to move out on one's own. I grew up in a world where parents helped their kids get a start in life by supporting their educational goals and providing them a place to live while they did it.

Where I live now, a high school diploma will not enable you to get any kind of job that will support you without government assistance - or eight roommates. The idea that I would send my kids into the world because they hit the magic number of '18' is ludicrous. As parents, it is our job to raise our kids until they are financially and emotionally ready to live on their own. I just don't want the kind of life for them that they have to lead if I decided that based only on the number 18.
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:14 PM

DS wants to join the military so he is planning on leaving the nest at graduation. DD's will be going to college so they will not be moving out for good until after college. Either way we don't think of "18" as a magical number that means we are done with parenting. There is a definite need for parenting still at that age.

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:21 PM
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I expect all my kids to go to college straight from high school (3 have so far, the fourth is only 14).  So far all of the three who went to college lived on campus to start with. Only my DS20 is back home, living at home while enrolled in college full time. It never occured to me to kick them out at 18.  My DD22 is now completely out on her own. I don't know if my DS20 will live at home or on campus next year. SS18 will probably never live at home again othan than school breaks...

I think 18 is really young to be out on your own. It's just not how I was raised to do things.

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:22 PM

same here. It's just a foreign concept to me.

Quoting HopesNDreams:

The idea that I would send my kids into the world because they hit the magic number of '18' is ludicrous. 

by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:38 PM

IF ODS15 gets his way, he'll be out of my house at 17, because he'll be living with another family (billeting) and playing the sport/EC he loves somewhere not here, then straight to the next level before college, then college, then (he's prayed for this since he was a toddler) he'll be a pro.  He's on his way but only time will tell if that's the case.  He knows he has a place to land if something doesn't work out along the way though. 

YDS11, he is still young enough to want to live at home 'forever'. That WILL change!  I know it! LOL  But, he's my independent kid, he WILL be out, but I strongly suspect he'll be at home until he's 20 (he will turn 18 right after he graduates HS) as he'll likely do his 1st 2 years at a local community college, getting his AA in that time, then moving on to a 4 year university somewhere away from home at 20. 

Living in CA, there's just NO WAY the boys could simply move out at 18.  None.  Nothing is cheap enough that a HS education qualified job would allow them to move out on their own, with or without roommates.  If they moved away from home (another state) I still don't see that working with just a HS education.  College dorm, perhaps, IF we (the boys and I - I can't/won't rely on BF for anything for them) can afford it.  But, to me, that's still not 'moved out'. 

I've told my boys since they were very young, 18 doesn't make an adult, paying ALL of your own bills does.  Once you can do/are doing that, THEN you are an adult.  It's just too tough these days. 

by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:40 PM
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My Father always told me that you either went to school or you went to work. No exceptions. If you went to work, it had better be something that was able to support you outside of my parents home. 

I live by that same rule....all my kids are out and on the own, even during these difficult times. I pray our Country will turn around and have plenty of work for all those that desire it. AND, I pray that more desire it, than don't. :)

by Ruby Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 8:58 PM
My ods is 19 and lives here. He graduated last June and this is his first year of college at a local community college. He has half ass been looking for a pt job. Housing is VERY high here, studios are like 1200 or more. Idk when he will be able to move. He also has a brain injury from birth. He will live in his own when e makes enough but I will always handle his finances probably.

I'm hoping ds15 goes away to college. He wants to play football so we will see.

The skids, no clue.
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:00 PM
I expect my own kids will go to college at 18- I have softened my expectations through the years that I would let them go to community college and live at home- a few years ago I would have said if their standards were as low as community college they could get a full time job too- (I did it why can't they) but since I have seen my nephew thrive at our local cc and it has changed my view a bit. If my kids did not go to college or training of some kind they would probably be expected to get full time jobs. They could contribute here- or get their own place. My sis and I both left home at 18 with full time jobs. I got married but she lived single on her own for a few years before she got married. We never even thought of staying home after hs graduation for long.

I will admit that it won't shock me if dd 11 doesn't stay here until she marries. And as long as she is vein productive we will allow it.
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:10 PM
Here's my prediction:
OSS15 will leave our nest to go to BMs nest. That will prob be short lived b/c the 2 of them are just alike then he will be back w/DH and I for a few more years. I hate to say it but I've got to be honest I don't see college in his future but probably a trade school.

YSS11 will probably either go away to college or live w/us while he goes to the local college. He's a daddy's boy for sure.

DS3 idk about him. I hope he will go to college tho

by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:14 PM
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I turned 18 in Sept. my Sr yr and was out by the end of Oct., living with a friend in her parents' home.  Part of it was my parents, part me. I wanted to have a pt. time job after school and start saving $$ for life in general, my ultra religious parents thought I needed to be supervised at all times, and dress like the Duggars. We just didn't agree on much then. I never went back, and there was a period of time where my parents and I didn't speak, b/c I wasn't living my life to their standards, and they were ashamed. Well, my mom was anyway.

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