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stepson preditor

Posted by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:30 AM
  • 22 Replies

I  met my husband 7 years ago, when his son was 7 and his daughter was 9. We marriend and had boy/girl twins that are now 3 and found out yesterday that my stepson was abusing my twins. He admitted to being molested by his biological moms B/F after his parents divorce when they questioned him lastnight. He moved in with me and my husband at the beginning of last school year 2011-2012 and admitted to investigators that he started touching my 2 year old son at that time. I was aboused as a child for almost 7 years and swore that i wouldn't let it happen to my kids, so now that for over a year my baby has been exposed to this other child I took in and raised as my own i am completely lost. I hate myself for letting this happen to my baby, and i can't even think of seeing my stepson or letting my baby see him. My son keeps asking where he is and when he can see him and hatered is taking over me, I can't stop crying and all that i want to do is drink and watch my twins 24/7 so nothing else can happen to them. Law enforcement keeps saying my stepson needs help not punishment but i can't stop thinking horrible things about him. I need some suport right now!

by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:30 AM
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twinklebites
by Bronze Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 9:33 AM
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I have no words other than get couseling for yourself so you can deal with what going on and do right by all the kids.  I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

USBrit
by Silver Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 11:24 AM
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Counseling is GREAT, but what about in the meantime? I agree with you....the baby needs protecting from this. I don't think that SS needs punishment, but he definitely needs to be "away" from temptation. Is there an Aunt, or Grandparent that can take SS in until a time that he can control and understand why he does what he did? If not, then perhaps you need to take the twins and live away for awhile, until things can be sorted out. BUT..protect those babies....they can't do that for themselves.

luckystars2012
by Gold Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 11:59 AM
3 moms liked this
Where is ss now? The police are right, he does need help, but your babies also need protection.
fullxbusymom
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 11:59 AM

Sorry this is a horrible situation and I feel for all the kids involved.  Everyone needs to be protected and helped.  I say get your SS help and simply never allow him alone unsupervised with your twins for the time being.

twinklebites
by Bronze Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:02 PM

 

She wrote that DS keeps asking for SS so I assumed SS is out of the house right now. I hope so with all that emotion going on with SM I think the safest place for everyone is to have SS some where else.

Quoting USBrit:

Counseling is GREAT, but what about in the meantime? I agree with you....the baby needs protecting from this. I don't think that SS needs punishment, but he definitely needs to be "away" from temptation. Is there an Aunt, or Grandparent that can take SS in until a time that he can control and understand why he does what he did? If not, then perhaps you need to take the twins and live away for awhile, until things can be sorted out. BUT..protect those babies....they can't do that for themselves.


 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:04 PM

 i wouldnt let him around my kids either and id feel hateful as well.

be strong around your kid. get him in therapy and yourself too. let your step sons parents worry about him. put down the bottle, your kid needs you sober. cooperate w investigators.

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, your SS needs help more than he needs punishment.  You need  help too. You all need to be in counseling ASAP.  Have you ever been in contact with an abuse survivors network?  Perhaps a call to them would help you immediately (point you in the right direction if the police haven't done this).  And, where is your SS now?  He's 14, he shouldn't be 'sent away' (juvenial hall), he needs help.  He shouldn't be in your home alone with you and/or your son either though.  Any other family member without younger children he could stay with for a while, where BF can still see him? 

Any other victims of SS14s that you're aware of? 

Is there somewhere YOU can go for a bit with your 3yos?  Perhaps a siblings or your parents home?  Leave BF to deal with his DS and get him into treatment prior to starting family treatment? 

You aren't 'letting it happen' to your son, it did happen but you didn't 'let' anything happen.  You discovered it and you've done something about it.   You haven't let your son down. 

I'm so sorry this has affected your family.  Please take good care of yourself so you can take good care of your children (in a healthy way) and perhaps one day your SS again too.  Try to remember, he's still a victim in all of this, as much as you were, as much as your son is too. 

DeliteCrazy
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:19 PM
If he gets help asap, he might have a chance.

But in the meantime, you need to get some counceling, so you know how to deal with things.
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SewMuchToDo
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes, he is in police custody since the nature of the offenses are multiple felonies in different counties. We will find out what is to happen after he sees a judge today but he will not have contact with the victims as per state law until they are 18 i think and he will be living with another relative.
spicy0425
by Silver Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:02 PM

This is no time for crying, or being the drama queen, or playing the victim card or using this as an excuse to become a drunk. You're the mom, try to stay calm and clear of the booze to protect your twins, also to allow you to have a clear mind to think of viable solution instead of crying/drinking yourself until you have no clue what to do. I have sympathy for you, but I have more sympathy for your twins. You should too.

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