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need some direction please!

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:00 PM
  • 15 Replies
Ok...first some background info-my husbands and i have been married for 9 years, together for 10. When we met my SS had just turned 6, and my husband & his bm had been divorced since he was a few months old. Bm hag also abandoned him for a little over a year before reappearing so SS &DH are very close. Now SS is 15....he has the freedom of going back and forth when he wants b/c we only live 5 mins from bm. He is a really good kid and we have become close also....i do not make distinction between him and the 3 DH and i have together....on numerous occasions he has made reference to how unreliable his bm is and how he knows never to count on her for anything. He also has told us that the only reason he goes over to her house at all is so he can babysit his brother who is 10 and to clean the house-she lives in a pig stye!

So to the crux of the matter-we pay for his cellphone....he us involved in track and show choir and played football....so we felt like he should have one. Her knows that i routinely look at his phone and we're friends on fb b/c his Dad and i want to know what's going on. Well, the other day i got onto fb and he had not logged out...it was on his messages and there was one between him and another boy who was asking if my ss is gay. My ss tells this other boy that yes, he is gay and he is tired if hiding it....WHAT?! I told his Dad about this and that's as far as we've gotten. I don't know if we should confront him on this or wait it out? His bm is a notorious liar and he had been caught in a lie himself but this wad years ago....we don't know if he is truly thinking he's gay or is saying this for the shock value. What would you do?
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
annabl1970
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:02 PM
2 moms liked this
Let his dad talk with him.
Also I would suggest don't tell SS that you found out this info by looking at his private messages.
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4lovesmom
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:08 PM
I have told dh he should talk to him but he doesn't know what you say...I'm not sure if its just b/c he's a little socked by this or what. I should add also that several months ago his grandmother came right out and asked him if he was gay. I'm not sure what the whole convo was leading up to this....but she told me later that she had asked this and he said no, he liked girls too much. At the time I was bewildered about what would make her think to even say that.


Quoting annabl1970:

Let his dad talk with him.

Also I would suggest don't tell SS that you found out this info by looking at his private messages.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:12 PM

He's gay. Now is not the time for anyone to bury their head in the sand. Get educated.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:13 PM

I dont even know the reason why you had to bring BM up in this post at all.

4lovesmom
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Well at first i thought dh should call bm and talk to her about this but as wishy washy as she is i don't know if we should involve her at all...


Quoting baparrot2:

I dont even know the reason why you had to bring BM up in this post at all.


amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:36 PM

What's the big deal if he's gay? He'll tell you guys when he's ready too, no reason to make a big deal about it.

kristinbugg
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:56 PM
You do NOT need to "confront" your SS about anything. He is doing NOTHING wrong. His sexual preference is NONE of your business, nor is it anyone else's.
KnowItAll
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I was wondering the same thing. The whole post was about bm and then this gay thing comes out of nowhere.

Quoting baparrot2:

I dont even know the reason why you had to bring BM up in this post at all.

4lovesmom
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:07 PM
Forget it...i wanted advice not bashing and criticism. if i could figure out how to delete this post i would
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:24 PM


It says delete at the bottom of the original post and you can hit the delete button... But you received advice what was it that you thought was bashing and or criticism?

Quoting 4lovesmom:

Forget it...i wanted advice not bashing and criticism. if i could figure out how to delete this post i would



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