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Needed a break from my step child

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:10 PM
  • 109 Replies

 

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Question: As a Step mom have you ever got tired and needed a break from your step child?

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yes

no

all the time


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As a step mom have you ever got tired and needed a break from your step child. Well that have happened to me recently I never thought I would have asked my dh to see if bm can keep sd for a weekend because I was tired wanted to spend some quailty time with my husband and some time with our son.


My dh share 5050 but during bm 2 week day visits she is working so she rearely spends her complete 50% parenting time with my sd except on her 2 weekends a month visits. So due to my work schedule im the only one off work when the kids get out of school(they attend school together)  My dh works 1st and 2nd shift on rotating and bm works graveyard and goes to school during the day, im not sure what is sf current schedule but he must be really busy as well sense bm need me or my dh to get sd on her schedule visits.  This month have been very busy for me and my dh and he has been in training and working and I work crazy early mornings at the airport so im busy the whole 8-12 hours of my shift walking and running on my feet.  When I get off I take the kids to karate class 3 days a week, go home cook dinner and get everyone ready for work and school the next day.


So this weekend suppose to be the weekend sd is at our home but last weekend we took her mother weekend because she asked us to keep sd we do not know why bm gave up her weekend.  So Thursday I found my self very irritated and just texted my dh and asked him to ask bm to get sd this weekend because I wanted some alone time with him and our son.  My dh text bm, bm said she can only keep her Friday night and Saturday until 3pm.  That still doenst give us any hubby and wife time alone where at work during those hours.  My husband works until 1pm on saturday and im at work until 3pm on saturday so still no alone time the only off day we have together is Sunday this week....We do not have family to keep the kids my mom is sick and she keeps them but I hate to ask her because with both kids they give her a run for her money if its just one its more calmer for her.  With my dh mom we have to catch her on a good day and weekeneds is 95% NO because she is off at some casino enjoying her life.


So I text dh and said okay there goes our alone time again.  After that dh didnt text back I thought he was mad at me for asking him to send sd to her mother so I text him and said are you mad? Dont think I am trying to get rid of your daughter im just tired miss you and need a break. no response.


He came home and told me that he was not thinking that i was tyring to get rid of sd at all he understands and that bm needs to be helping us more so he texted bm and told  her that she have to keep sd until monday and that if she cant keep her the entire weekend ask her grand mother or aunt to keep sd for her.


I was feeling bad thinking I shouldnt of never texted dh but im glad we finally get to spend some time to gether when i get off work we going to drive out about a hour and do a little shopping go out to eat, go back home relax have some one on one time then on Sunday Im going to do a little something with our son and go to a friends house for a sunday dinner and back home and watch movies while our lil boy sleeps for school I cannot wait.

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KLBrown
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:21 PM
4 moms liked this
If you need alone time with your hubby, get a sitter for both kids.

I find it asinine to want time "alone" with the son you share. You knew about SD when you married him, right? She's part of your family too.
cajungal76
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM
I have my DSD 8, almost full time. I almost never ever get alone time with my DH. Her BM never wants her on weekends or overnight. Always uses work as an excuse. She picks her up from school at 3:15 and watches her only til 6 til DH picks her up on his way home from work. We have her every night and every weekend. And all of DH family lives 2 hours away and can't help. So alone time is extremly rare. If we truly need a break or to go some where and can't take her, usually I only have my mom who will sometimes babysit. But SD is part of your family too. If you truly need a break and BM is unwilling to keep her, all you can do is get maybe family or a babysitter to watch her. But then she may be feel pushed to the side and unwanted if your son is still there and she is the only one going to a sitters.
Jadesmommy13
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:34 PM
That is sad! Do you not spend time with Dh after the kids go to bed? My ss doesn't live with us, we get him on the weekends when he's not busy, he's 15. If we were thinking of doing something together as a family, we would include him.
I thinks it's very selfish what you did. She is part of your family too. I love my ss like he is my own and I would NEVER do anything like that! Even if he was living with us.
bellasmom32510
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:50 PM

My SD lives with us full time. When we want alone time we get a sitter or my inlaws watch SD and our dd. SD hasn't seen BM in 3 months and hasn't been to her house in almost 5 months ( she's only seen her 1 time in 5 months, has talked to her 2 times in the last 3 months).

kristinbugg
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:53 PM
So, on SD's next weekend, are you going to send your son somewhere or leave with your son, so SD can have some one on one time with her father?
ramita
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 1:55 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't want breaks from just my SS. I want breaks from ALL the kids...lol. We have my SS all the time, BM currently isn't in the picture. He does visit family most every other weekend so it helps. My oldest also visits her ex step grandparents a weekend or two a month. Ita mostly my youngest who I get exhausted from. Although when its just her, my DH, and her she usually does really good. I guess she should have been an only child instead of the youngest...lol.
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this

If my husband gets tired of my kids I wouldn't know it.  Neither would the kids.  I don't think he does.  I think he understands that the kids live here full time and that is just how things are.  

We get alone time when we make it.  I don't have an ex to send my kids off to so that I can have a date.  (Well, I have an ex, he just doesn't take his time). It's just life here and we make it work.

If you're tired of his kid and need a break tell him to find a daycare for his child after school.  He shouldn't pawn his kid off on you.

tymama1022
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 3:00 PM


Quoting KLBrown:

If you need alone time with your hubby, get a sitter for both kids.

I find it asinine to want time "alone" with the son you share. You knew about SD when you married him, right? She's part of your family too.

of course I knew about her before I married my husabnd but that has nothing to do with one on one time with my son while my husband is at work.

tymama1022
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 3:02 PM

exactly thats why her mom or her mother side would be the best baby sister in this case.

Quoting cajungal76:

I have my DSD 8, almost full time. I almost never ever get alone time with my DH. Her BM never wants her on weekends or overnight. Always uses work as an excuse. She picks her up from school at 3:15 and watches her only til 6 til DH picks her up on his way home from work. We have her every night and every weekend. And all of DH family lives 2 hours away and can't help. So alone time is extremly rare. If we truly need a break or to go some where and can't take her, usually I only have my mom who will sometimes babysit. But SD is part of your family too. If you truly need a break and BM is unwilling to keep her, all you can do is get maybe family or a babysitter to watch her. But then she may be feel pushed to the side and unwanted if your son is still there and she is the only one going to a sitters.


CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Having no children I have gotten a little overwhelmed at times but in those cases I would not go out of my way to tell BM to keep SD I would just ask my mother in law or one of SDs friends whose mother i'm friends with to watch them. I really would NOT make a big stink tho. It's okay to want alone time but it's,not okay to imply alienation of SK to have your "own" family time.
Just ask family to watch her or have your husband figure out something
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