Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

Loving your stepchild as your own!

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 3:37 PM
  • 120 Replies
2 moms liked this

I read so many post about stepmothers saying they love their stepchild as their own, HONESTLY I dont believe that what so ever!!.  I'm a step mom and I do for my stepdaughter just how I do for my son.  I didnt carry her but I watched and help teached her to hold her bottle, walk, heard her 1st words all that but I do not love her like she was my own daughter I would be lying if I said that.  No person can compare the love you have for a child you carried and birthed.


I do love my stepdaughter and would do anything for her and protect her by all means but I do not love her as if she was my own daughter.



This post is taken just how I thought.  Not loving your child as your own bio child doesnt make you a bad person at all or a crook.  Your child that you carried, saw developing in your tummy, dealing with back pains, kicking you as they grew inside your womb, listening to the 1st heart beats, picking names that fits your baby all that!!....Come ne be truthful to your self the love that you hold for you child is different for the love you have for a stepchild, nieces and newphews its a different type of love.

I'm not speaking on stepparents/adoptive parents with no birth kids because you have not experienced giving life just yet.



Also because I said I do not love my stepdaughter as if she is my own that doesnt mean I dont care for her, provide for her, tell her I love her etc.  Its just a different love I have for my son. 


by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 3:37 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
kristinbugg
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:00 PM
2 moms liked this
Would that be why you feel that SD is not entitled to one on one time with her father....and why you are sending her away, so that YOU and YOUR child can spend "alone" time with DH?
CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this
SO parents who adopt don't love their children..... What a,crock on that. You don't have to love her as your own that's your own right but it certainly does explain.why it's so easy to decide that it's her that needs to go away so your husband can have to time be a husband and dad to you and your son....
I don't love SD them same as if I have birth to her myself but I wouldn't discredit those who do feel that just I don't. It's a different kind of love for me something BM and DH wouldn't get either
EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:15 PM
3 moms liked this
Well I feel bad for any adopted children then. I think it takes a special person to be able to love a child that isn't your own as your own. I don't think YOU happen to be that kind of person but there are others out there who are.
bellasmom32510
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:16 PM
1 mom liked this

So that is why you feel like it is okay to send her away so you can be just a family of three and do things without including her? Okay... BS spin off of your last ridiculous post.

momof2cuteboys
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

she said she loved her... just not as she does her own.  I love my former SS but it sure is  a different love than the one I have for my birth children.  It is a bit more like the love I have for my nieces and nephews.  Well maybe a bit more than that.

Quoting CFSTBSM27:

SO parents who adopt don't love their children..... What a,crock on that. You don't have to love her as your own that's your own right but it certainly does explain.why it's so easy to decide that it's her that needs to go away so your husband can have to time be a husband and dad to you and your son....
I don't love SD them same as if I have birth to her myself but I wouldn't discredit those who do feel that just I don't. It's a different kind of love for me something BM and DH wouldn't get either


CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:21 PM
And I agreed that's her right but it is not right to say others can't feel that way...because some do. I love my SD in a special way that no one can get. It may be different than loving a bio child but it's not less it's just different.


Quoting momof2cuteboys:

she said she loved her... just not as she does her own.  I love my former SS but it sure is  a different love than the one I have for my birth children.  It is a bit more like the love I have for my nieces and nephews.  Well maybe a bit more than that.

Quoting CFSTBSM27:

SO parents who adopt don't love their children..... What a,crock on that. You don't have to love her as your own that's your own right but it certainly does explain.why it's so easy to decide that it's her that needs to go away so your husband can have to time be a husband and dad to you and your son....

I don't love SD them same as if I have birth to her myself but I wouldn't discredit those who do feel that just I don't. It's a different kind of love for me something BM and DH wouldn't get either



LiLJeni
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:41 PM
2 moms liked this
That is fine that you do not love you Skids like your own but it is unfair of you to think that every woman feels the way you do. No one needs to try and tell you that they do. If you do not believe them than that is on you, but just because you don't believe them doesn't make it any less true for them.
luvligrl323
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 4:46 PM
2 moms liked this
I think that that post is total BS and that it is hurtful for theose people that can't "birth" children of their own. You can love your SS the same way you love your bio child if you open up your heart to it. Maybe it's your narrow mindset that doesn't allow you to create that bond with him. As for me, I do absolutely love my SS as my own and would protect him at all costs. In my household we are ONE family. No one gets excluded. I think your attitude will come back to bite you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommyNstepmommy
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 5:36 PM
Amen! Lol before I was always thinking and saying "I love my SD just as much as my own" but honestly I've realized its completely different! Love her and always will, but my love for my own is much deeper!


Quoting tymama1022:

I read so many post about stepmothers saying they love their stepchild as their own, HONESTLY I dont believe that what so ever!!.  I'm a step mom and I do for my stepdaughter just how I do for my son.  I didnt carry her but I watched and help teached her to hold her bottle, walk, heard her 1st words all that but I do not love her like she was my own daughter I would be lying if I said that.  No person can compare the love you have for a child you carried and birthed.


I do love my stepdaughter and would do anything for her and protect her by all means but I dont love her as if she was my own daughter.


BrandiGra
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:13 PM
2 moms liked this

I love my skids but I don't love them the same as I love my ds. I love my mother in law but not the same as I love my mother.

I also do not believe step parents love the step kids the same as they love their own children. If they say they do I believe they are liars.

Yep. I went there.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)