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just wish for once SO would follow through!!!!!

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:07 PM
  • 8 Replies
SD is 6. bio mom has never been around. she is a very sweet, loving nd affectionate kid. sometimes a little clingy. she started 1st grade in august. behavior at home is typical of a 6 year old usually good, sometimes minor trouble. at school.......horrible, awful behavior. it started out s just talking alot in class, has progressed to being flat out mean to other kids like covering the holes of the water fountain while they other kids try to drink water, she stole another child lunchbox but said she ws just trying to look at the picture on it (no she didnt eat the food) this earned her a firm talking to from the principal, but low and behold phone call yesterday afternoon, she was caught stealing candy out of the bucket on the teachers desk. (teacher gives a small tootsie roll to students on fri if they have been good all week) her explanation was "she was counting it" this has earned her in school detention on monday. since august i can count on one hand how many times she has come home with a happy face on her behavior sheet. the rest are all sad faces with paragraph long notes of why. academically she is on target. she is not being bullied, infact she is SO bossy its bordering on bullying. she has been evaluated for ADD and several other "disorders" all elvaluations were found to be negative. basically she just doesnt want to listen and behave as far as im concerned. her father makes matters worse by not following through with consequences to her actions. he threatens threatens threatens and NEVER follows through. we have tried sticker charts, we have tried bribery (if ur good today i will give u a dollar) we have tried spanking (well he has, i wont spank her) even the teacher has run out of suggestions to help curb her behavior. and all the while he threatens to take this fun activity or privlige and it NEVER happens. she goes every other weekend to her grandmas who spoils her insanely..i mean it just waaaayyy over the top spoiling. especially considering she sees her so often. i mean i could understand if it was just once a year or something. SO keeps telling SD her bahavior has to get better or she cant go any more...think its happened yet?????? he told her no fall festivals or trick or treating due to what happened yesterday at school. guess who picked her up last night (grandma) and bought her the 40 dollar monster high costume she wanted (which she was told no to after what happened yesterday obviously) and at this moment has her at her 2nd fall festival of the day and will be taking her to 2 more tomorrow before bringing her home. ugh sorry this is more of a rant than anything. its just frustrating
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by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:07 PM
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Replies (1-8):
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:16 PM

Just be thankful it's not your kid!

caligirl7613
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 6:30 PM
shes not but i try and treat her like mine. she had never had a mother figure in her life. i dont do punishment though, he dad and i have only been together about a year so i leave that to him. we do live together and she listens if i ask her to pick up her room, or something like that. i will take tv away or a certain toy if she really acts up when he isnt around but thats as fr as i go with punishment for her. im just glad she doesnt go to the same school as my 2 cuz then they might get ideas that they could act like that at school. at home shes fine really, i mean you have ur typical issues you have with any 6 year old. but nothing major

Quoting amantonacci:

Just be thankful it's not your kid!

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amantonacci
by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:02 PM


Is she in counseling? My ds has an absent father kindergarten and first grade were tough years he's in second now and doing great!

Quoting caligirl7613:

shes not but i try and treat her like mine. she had never had a mother figure in her life. i dont do punishment though, he dad and i have only been together about a year so i leave that to him. we do live together and she listens if i ask her to pick up her room, or something like that. i will take tv away or a certain toy if she really acts up when he isnt around but thats as fr as i go with punishment for her. im just glad she doesnt go to the same school as my 2 cuz then they might get ideas that they could act like that at school. at home shes fine really, i mean you have ur typical issues you have with any 6 year old. but nothing major

Quoting amantonacci:

Just be thankful it's not your kid!



momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:12 PM
I think the answer is in your husbands follow through. Unfortunately until he makes it worth her while to turn things around, she won't. I was going to suggest that getting in to trouble at school sometimes will curb that but it sounds like the school is already disciplining.
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caligirl7613
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
no and i asked him if he thought maybe she needed it. she really misses her mom (even though her mom left when she was like 2 months old) she knows her moms name and has seen photos of her. but when shr hears a womans voice on the phone that she doe not recognize right away (could be an aunt, cousin etc) the first thing she always says is MOMMY!!! then her dd or i have to say no, thats so nd so. ive told him not having her mom around IS having an impact. he thinks its not because her mom has never been around so she shouldnt think twice about it.

Quoting amantonacci:


Is she in counseling? My ds has an absent father kindergarten and first grade were tough years he's in second now and doing great!


Quoting caligirl7613:

shes not but i try and treat her like mine. she had never had a mother figure in her life. i dont do punishment though, he dad and i have only been together about a year so i leave that to him. we do live together and she listens if i ask her to pick up her room, or something like that. i will take tv away or a certain toy if she really acts up when he isnt around but thats as fr as i go with punishment for her. im just glad she doesnt go to the same school as my 2 cuz then they might get ideas that they could act like that at school. at home shes fine really, i mean you have ur typical issues you have with any 6 year old. but nothing major



Quoting amantonacci:

Just be thankful it's not your kid!




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caligirl7613
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:50 PM
oh they are. and have been. she is constantly losing recess, and if your good all week her teacher gives each student a super small tootsie roll on friday. she has NEVER had that because she has never had a full week of good behvior. they also have the option to buy a popsicle at lunch on friday for 50 cents. since i handle all school stuff anyway i did put a stop to her getting a popsicle a LONG time ago thinking if she saw all the other kids eating one it would bother her enough to change her behavior so she could have one too. nope. it had no impact. its frustrating and irritates me when im getting phone calls from the teacher and staff and being asked to come down etc and they are all looking at me like its my fault n im a bad mother.

Quoting momof2ex1:

I think the answer is in your husbands follow through. Unfortunately until he makes it worth her while to turn things around, she won't. I was going to suggest that getting in to trouble at school sometimes will curb that but it sounds like the school is already disciplining.
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crazymomma87
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:38 PM
I wish I had an answer for you but I sort of have the same problem. My SO and I have been together for a year and his 3 yr old son just started living with us right after his mom had a baby. SO's mom lives two streets over and spoils the shit out of that kid. She will like literally come over and spoils"steal" him from our house. When SO tried complaining to me about it I told him he needs to put his foot down and tell his mom that is his kid. Well that works for about a week then it's all the same. And I really hate dealing with him when he comes back from grandma's. The other day SO had him sitting on the potty trying to get him to poop and grandma comes over. In her defense she is a nice woman for the most part and was there because she was going to help us out with taking the kids to get Halloween costumes. But as soon as he heard Gram's voice he started screaming at the top of his lungs. So of course she went in there and "saved him." Thenshe'sher and SO started arguing about her doing that so she got pissed off and left and guess who she took with her? SO's son. And guess who let her do it? SO. I've gotten to the point where I don't care anymore.
afwife817
by Silver Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 12:58 AM
Well, I have a 6 yr old step daughter that I love to pieces. Her mom is in the picture, but that's not always a good thing. This bio mom just had her 3rd baby not with that dad either. She's a mess, so be thankful you get this little girl. I'm sure her dad will appreciate your help with her too. Why not treat her as your own. I do, and I get two of them:) I'm a lucky wife and step mom
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