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Adult Children Bio Mom and Stepmom 1st grandchild on the way

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:11 PM
  • 22 Replies

Is there anyone out there that wants to talk, I am having a horrible time.

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JTROX
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:12 PM

I'm a step gma to 2 grandbabies.  I've got two more coming this winter.

upnorthlady
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:17 PM

I live 1500 miles away, I am the mother, the step mother called me today and asked me what should "we" do for the baby shower. Her and I don't really like each other, 20 years of this. I told her I was planning on having a shower when I am there after the baby arrives, she seems to think it's a better idea if we have a shower together, I think she has overstepped her boundries, she does live near them, but do I really need to talk to her about the baby shower etc? The final nail was her saying to me " I think we all did a great job raising the boys" .  I have 2 sons and she has two sons. 

afwife817
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:22 PM
So you're the grandma?
looneytunes290
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:25 PM
It sound like she wants to make things easy for your son- how will he feel about it all being together? I would have preferred to do things together . I am bm and sm. As the bm I would include the sm and dad in the kids shower. My skids bm would prob not want to do it together. I think it is a personality or maybe do to a specific situation. What about doin it all together do you not like? How long has she been the sm?

Quoting upnorthlady:

I live 1500 miles away, I am the mother, the step mother called me today and asked me what should "we" do for the baby shower. Her and I don't really like each other, 20 years of this. I told her I was planning on having a shower when I am there after the baby arrives, she seems to think it's a better idea if we have a shower together, I think she has overstepped her boundries, she does live near them, but do I really need to talk to her about the baby shower etc? The final nail was her saying to me " I think we all did a great job raising the boys" .  I have 2 sons and she has two sons. 

upnorthlady
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:25 PM

I will be a grandma for the first time this spring yes

rissamom224
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I see why your upset, but this isn't about you its about the baby.. I say that with much respect. I am a BM&SM but sometimes we gotta put our feelings aside to make our babes happy. ;/

Quoting upnorthlady:

I live 1500 miles away, I am the mother, the step mother called me today and asked me what should "we" do for the baby shower. Her and I don't really like each other, 20 years of this. I told her I was planning on having a shower when I am there after the baby arrives, she seems to think it's a better idea if we have a shower together, I think she has overstepped her boundries, she does live near them, but do I really need to talk to her about the baby shower etc? The final nail was her saying to me " I think we all did a great job raising the boys" .  I have 2 sons and she has two sons. 

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upnorthlady
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:29 PM

She's been the stepmom for 20 years. We both have very big families, and seeing as I don't live in the same state I would be throwing the shower at my sisters. Her and I have never really gotten along well, when we have to be together we are pleasant to each other. I was there with my sons for the entire summer, I wanted to get together while I was there to discuss future baby and we also have the first wedding comng up next year also, but while I was there in person she was not interested. 

upnorthlady
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:31 PM

I understand what you are saying, I am also a SM, and I would never call my exes wife and ask about a shower, I know she would reject it outright so I would not think of it. I respect she is the BM and would stay in the background out of respect for her.

upnorthlady
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:34 PM

I have always included the SM and BF in everything, but with the "kids" being adults we don't interact much anymore, and I live so far away. They never include me or my husband in anything.. even when I am in the same state, I am always excluded

upnorthlady
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:36 PM

Well this was my first time here, I thought I would give this a try, because I have been so  upset all night. Thanks for your comments, I just need more talking. g'nite

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