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s/o loving them like your own

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:28 PM
  • 5 Replies

i have no steps yet... so I cant compare the two loves. all i know is the typical biological parent-child bond.

However, I have a SM and I know for sure that I love HER as my own. 

Is that also supposed to be "impossible"? 

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:28 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 11:29 PM

I love SD to an equal amount of my bio-kids, HOWEVER, my bond with her is different. I came into her life when she was a year and a half. Due to her developmental delays I was there for everything except her first word and crawling. All of the other major milestones I've been a part of. But, like I said, my bond with her is different. It's different growing a child inside your body, nursing them, etc.

But, I don't think it's the same for everyone, I think they are a LOT of factors that go into determing what kind of relationship a child and step-parent will have.

In my mind, and my heart, my dad is my step-father. 

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:20 AM
I don't know why people care so much what others on an anonymous Internet forum feel. If you love your sm, good for you. You are the only one that knows what is in your heart and you don't have to justify or defend that. Some people don't understand or can not fathom loving a child that is not theirs like their own. I am one of them but it makes no difference to me if you can or if you do or even if you don't.

I happen to love my stepdad and see him as my dad. But I also know that deep in my heart I have love for my bio dad it's just not as strong as it should be for a daughter and father. Still different than how I love my stepdad. Our relationships are just different. I can't call my bio dad up and tell him my fears and my problems. Do I want to be able to do that? Absolutely! I've always longed for that kind of relationship with him and that longing may not be as strong today as it was 10 years ago but it's something I will always struggle with. My stepdad? I talk to him every single day on my way home from work. He knows my world forwards and backwards. He knows all the names of my co-workers. When I call at 5:30 every day he knows who I am talking about when I tell him about my day. He knows me better than my bio dad ever will. And that is quite unfortunate. I have a void that will never be filled. Even by someone who stepped up and stepped in. He can't fix what is broken in me. I will always hold my father in a place in my heart that my stepdad won't be able to touch even though he holds the rest of my heart. The two loves just can't be compared.
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whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:08 AM
2 moms liked this

Not impossible. Just rare.

I think people just get annoyed with the posts like "I have been married for 6 months, we get the kids EOWE, and I love them like my own and they would be better off living with me....."

The majority of the time when we read a SM saying he loves them like her own, it's just not believable.

kellynh
by Kelly on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:04 AM

This... And then the post is combined with how worthless the BM is... And wha she does for the child. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

Not impossible. Just rare.

I think people just get annoyed with the posts like "I have been married for 6 months, we get the kids EOWE, and I love them like my own and they would be better off living with me....."

The majority of the time when we read a SM saying he loves them like her own, it's just not believable.


BasketballMama8
by Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:05 PM


Lol @ 6 months and EOWE comparing them to the kids they raise.. yeah Im with you on that 

Quoting kellynh:

This... And then the post is combined with how worthless the BM is... And wha she does for the child. 

Quoting whatIknownow:

Not impossible. Just rare.

I think people just get annoyed with the posts like "I have been married for 6 months, we get the kids EOWE, and I love them like my own and they would be better off living with me....."

The majority of the time when we read a SM saying he loves them like her own, it's just not believable.




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