This is my first time writing on here and I have feeling I will be doing a lot more of it. I find it difficult to talk to anyone else who understands. My fiance,who is currently deployed, has two children from a previous marriage. To put it lightly, his ex is crazy. He was honest with me from the beginning (i.e. he's in the middle of a divorce, he has two kids, etc.). At first, I was like "oh that's cute." Now I don't feel that way at all. I have two big issues. The first is the resentment and jealousy I have for them. We've went through pre-marital counseling and the counselor told me to journal. That seemed like a temporary fix. I then got a book called "Stepmonster" by Wednesday Martin. It helped me soooo much with understanding where the resentment and jealousy come from. The issue is still there, I just understand where it comes from.The other issue hasn't been resolved yet and not sure if it will until I talk to someone who has been through it. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamt of having children and being a mommy. I wanted nothing more than to share in the joys of parenthood, the exciting and scared face my husband will make when I tell him I'm expecting, etc. My fiance and I chose different routes. I did the college thing, therefore, just now getting on my feet. He got married, had two children, and a house by the time he was 20. I feel cheated because he has experienced all of the things I dreamt of as a child. I feel he won't be as excited to have a child with me because he has already done it. I've looked into cute ways on how to tell him I'm pregnant when the time comes, but I'm not even sure I'll will do something like that because I don't want to be disappointed if he's like "oh cool" and that's it. Every man is super excited about having a son. He already has one and a daughter, therefore, eliminating the "firsts" for that option too. Is it really as bad as I make it out to be in my head? We've talked about the children thing and he's like "You know me. I don't get scared." I feel he at least owes it to me to pretend to be nervous and scared. I would really appreciate if someone who didn't have children coming into a marriage and then had children could respond and tell me how it really was when you announced you were pregnant, buying your first house TOGETHER, and doing all of those things you wanted to do since you were young. Side note- Although he does have two children, neither of us are connected to them and contemplated giving mother full custody since she will be moving across the country.