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19 year old step son drawing monster pictures of me!!! What do I do??

Posted by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:10 AM
  • 97 Replies

Hello All, My name is Tineasa. I am a 29 year old mom of a 7 year old girl named Kimimela. In 2003 I met my husband. we did not get married until this year on May 26th,2013. I knew he had another child then but the child's mother kepted the child away from his father. She would tell her son hurtful things about his dad to the point the child believed them and didnt want to talk to his father. Well a few years ago I got in contact with the child and told him that his dad would love for him to call and talk things out since he was older and could understand things!! Well they began to talk on the phone again.


Well this past year my husband's father had gotten sick and lost his leg to diabetes. My husbands son was also living with the grandfather when he has gotten sick and lost his leg. When we found out in Feb. what was going on we made the 5 hour trip to Pa from NY State to see my husbands father and also to see the son as well. Awhile we were there the son decided that he wanted to leave PA and move to NY State with us. We called PA State police and they told us as long as he was 18 he could come and do what ever he may like, and the mother of the child could not stop him. So we went and packed the son's stuff up and moved him in with us. we got him transfered to the school with us. A month later the father in law moved in with us as he had nowhere to go and need someone to take care of him!


Its been about 9 months since the child has moved into our home and we have had a few problems. His mother and grandmother(mother's Mom) is telling the child that he  does not have to listen to me as I am nothing to him and I can't  do anything to him. It was just recent that I found a picture of a drawing. The drawing had some monster looking creature drawn with the say at the top "Tineasa, The monster from Hell"!! I had told my husband about it and he said something to his son and asked him why he would do this? HE then told his dad that his mom has been calling alot and told him that is he showed me any kind of LOVE or even so much called me mom that she would stop talk to him. She also told him that she would tell his whole family to stop talking to him as well and tell his family alot of crap. So in order to hate me she told him to think of bad things and to think of me when thinking the bad things!!


My question is this: Do I say something to the mother about what she is doing to him? What do I say and what would be the best way to contact her? Facebook e-mail or a phone call?? I was think facebook e-mail this way she cant said i said anything wrong, and with a phone call it could be hear say... Please any feed back would be great as I am lost for words and not sure where to turn at this moment in life. I don't want the child's mother to stop talk to him but I also don't want the mother to keep filling his head full of crap and lies.


Thanks for reading!!

Tineasa

by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:22 AM
6 moms liked this

The kid is 19?

I mean this in the kindest way possible, but does he have cognitive delays or another type of special needs? This doesn't sound like developmentally appropriate behavior for a 19 year old. 

babie113
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:26 AM
a 19 yo should see right through moms agenda and lame attempt to brainwash
KimimelasMommy
by Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:40 AM

Yes I agree with you but the child is slow and does not have all the sents of being an adult... He acts like a 15 year old. 

babie113
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:41 AM
yikes has he been checked out

Quoting KimimelasMommy:

Yes I agree with you but the child is slow and does not have all the sents of being an adult... He acts like a 15 year old. 

babie113
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:44 AM
I feel theres no point in saying something to her .it will just piss her off more .just do evrrything you can to prove her wrong to him .maybe have dh explain what his mom is really doing it for to him
KimimelasMommy
by Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:46 AM
1 mom liked this

also meaning this in a nice adult way... Yes I believe he has issues. as a child he had cancer... he is now cancer free but very slow with things! His learning span I would say is at a 15 year old or younger. By all means I am not picking on him or putting him down!! In school he gets extra help for different classes. I do not know what all he had went through when living with his mother but some of the stuff he tells us when he does open up are pretty bad!! His mother would yell at him for everything and favor the younger brother. The younger brother is very smart and throws it in the older child's face the the younger brother was accepted in to college in 10th grade. 


I try to do my best and also try to help my daughter understand whats going on as well but dont know what to do about the Child's mother...

KimimelasMommy
by Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:50 AM
No he has not been checked out as the grandfather has jumped into that picture of that. He says he will not allow his grandson to go to a person that he could talk to as his grandson is not physo! Which I have told the grandfather that I am not meaning he is crazy!! I told him that he just needs someone that is not a family member and be able to talk to them about everything that is going on in life!
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 7:32 AM
2 moms liked this

There is no reason to speak to the mother, and I don't believe the kid drew the picture because of anything the mother said. You probalby did something to piss him off.

I would ignore it. If your relationship is good with him, just let it go. He had a right to draw the picture and express his ideas privately. You were not intended to see the picture. this is not a big deal.

Chelsey191
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 7:35 AM
Get him in therapy.
kellynh
by Kelly on Oct. 31, 2013 at 8:03 AM

It's a picture. He is 19. It's nothing besides immature. It's better then him screaming in your face though so it's good. 

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