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Household Finances

Posted by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:06 AM
  • 21 Replies

I know each sitch is different... I was wondering how you all handle household finances?

We combined households in August 2012 and we have yet to really change the way we manage bills. We basically split the house payment (we take turns righting the check), divvy up any utility bills and then he pays for his car, motorcycle and insurance and his children's school tuition. I pay for the kids cell phones and my own.

It generally works out okay but this morning we ran into an issue because he failed to mention to me that he was "a few" months behind on SD's school tuition (private school, about $100 a month) until this morning when he handed SD the check to bring to school.

Meanwhile, we are going on a mini road trip this weekend and we have been talking about spending money and our budget. In the past few weeks when we have been talking about if we could afford to go away, he never mentioned being behind on anything. And now today he is writing a pretty big check but claims it won't affect our budget for our trip.

Don't get me wrong, the kids come before our trip.... I just have a sour taste in my mouth because I feel he should have been up front with me about it.

by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:06 AM
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pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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Don't go right to sour, he might just be embarrassed that he screwed up.  Ask him about it with an open heart and mind.  Finances are tricky and I have found more so with men.  Their ego is often caught up in it.

touch base with him.  Assume the best.

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:10 AM
2 moms liked this

I personally think how you MANAGE your finances in a marriage....blended or not...is a very personal thing. BUT, communicating what is happening when it is happening is important.

NTMBeth
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:13 AM

Totally agree with you. I don't want to go right into "scold" mode. I think he does feel like he was caught being careless and probably is emabarassed.

Quoting pdxmum:

Don't go right to sour, he might just be embarrassed that he screwed up.  Ask him about it with an open heart and mind.  Finances are tricky and I have found more so with men.  Their ego is often caught up in it.

touch base with him.  Assume the best.

 

NTMBeth
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:15 AM

 It's definitely a personal thing and I know its usually a sore subject for most relationships (blended or otherwise).

Quoting baparrot2:

I personally think how you MANAGE your finances in a marriage....blended or not...is a very personal thing. BUT, communicating what is happening when it is happening is important.

 

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

The one thing I caught in the post was he said it woulf be fine. So, your husband is asking you to trust him. So you have to ask yourself, has he ever given me any reason not to? If the answer is no, let it go and see what happens. That advice is for the benefit of your marriage.

But if things go awry, you may need to sit down and have an open communication about disclosure and your finances going forward.

NTMBeth
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:33 AM

 Yeah, you caught that, huh? :)

He has not been the most responsible with money in the past. I hate being a penny pincher though, I don't want to have to ask questions and second guess. But when it impacts the entire family, then I feel ilke he needs to wake up and prioritize better.

Quoting baparrot2:

The one thing I caught in the post was he said it woulf be fine. So, your husband is asking you to trust him. So you have to ask yourself, has he ever given me any reason not to? If the answer is no, let it go and see what happens. That advice is for the benefit of your marriage.

But if things go awry, you may need to sit down and have an open communication about disclosure and your finances going forward.

 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Separate finances, he hands over all bill money to me and I handle it. He's not great w money. Neither am I but he's worse.
baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:41 AM

But, it hasn't impacted you......yet. When and IF it does, address it then. Yes, it may have to be on vacation. Make a stink.....make sure it doesn't happen again by insisting on full disclosure.

Quoting NTMBeth:

 Yeah, you caught that, huh? :)

He has not been the most responsible with money in the past. I hate being a penny pincher though, I don't want to have to ask questions and second guess. But when it impacts the entire family, then I feel ilke he needs to wake up and prioritize better.

Quoting baparrot2:

The one thing I caught in the post was he said it woulf be fine. So, your husband is asking you to trust him. So you have to ask yourself, has he ever given me any reason not to? If the answer is no, let it go and see what happens. That advice is for the benefit of your marriage.

But if things go awry, you may need to sit down and have an open communication about disclosure and your finances going forward.

 


Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if only you are willing to listen. - Jimmy Buffet
NTMBeth
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:49 AM

Hopefully I won't have to make a stink on our trip... I am really hoping that this morning's conversation has been enough of a reminder that we need to communicate better.

The irony, the whole point of our trip was to de-stress and unwind. ;)

 

Quoting baparrot2:

But, it hasn't impacted you......yet. When and IF it does, address it then. Yes, it may have to be on vacation. Make a stink.....make sure it doesn't happen again by insisting on full disclosure.

 

 

baparrot2
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Men are fucking stoopid. That's all I got. Have a good time.

Quoting NTMBeth:

Hopefully I won't have to make a stink on our trip... I am really hoping that this morning's conversation has been enough of a reminder that we need to communicate better.


The irony, the whole point of our trip was to de-stress and unwind. ;)





Quoting baparrot2:

But, it hasn't impacted you......yet. When and IF it does, address it then. Yes, it may have to be on vacation. Make a stink.....make sure it doesn't happen again by insisting on full disclosure.

 



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