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Stepmom's - With real mom responsibilities!

Posted by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:54 AM
  • 82 Replies

Hey ladies - I have a question, 
(NO BASHING)

So, I have been raising my stepdaughter since she was 4 years old. & for the last 5 (almost 6) years, her real mother (egg donor rather) has only seen her a handful of times. SERIOUSLY NO JOKE! I can't say that I am mad about her NOT seeing her, as she is a raging druggie, she's nasty, (& not just because she is my husband's ex, because she is legitly NASTY, even people around town her know her, will say it also)

Anyway, I have been thinking about Step-parent adoption. I know me being married to her dad gives me the option to put forth an option for the birth parent to give up her rights & my stepdaughter will legally become my daughter & she won't be able to hurt her anymore. 

Has anyone else done this? Or thought about doing this?
Did the birth parent willinly sign over rights?
Does this go over well, or not?

I know what it's like to have a mother JUST like her, because I do have a mother JUST like her mother.
She now rots in rots in prison. She has ALWAYS been a stranger to me, & always will be. My children will never see her.

 My ex WILL NOT talk to her, look at her, take any contact from her whenever it is (every 6-16 months) that she does actually try to pretend to be a human for a minute & remembers that she HAS a child.
Within the last 2 years, she has seen her TWICE! & I took her to go see her. NOW she is mad at me for some reason or another (idk how druggie's mind's work) & she won't talk to me. I told her if she wants to schedule to see her, then she'll have to talk to me & she said "I don't care! I'm not talking to you!"

To me, that says she does not care or have ANY interest in seeing her daughter. She hasn't called her in MONTHS (since April).
& my stepdaughter has not asked about her in months also. 

ALL she does is hurt that little girl, & I'm TIRED of it!

Can I get rid of this nasty bitch?

**end rant! 

by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 10:56 AM
2 moms liked this

oh boy.

jdk91
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:10 AM

either a.) the mother will have to willing sign over rights and let you take them. Or b.) when you petition to adopts her and bm gets served papers if she does not respond to (neither say yes or no) then the judge can look at that as the mother not wanting the child and then can grant you to adopt. If bm steps up and says that she don't want you to adopt then I'm pretty sure you won't be able to. The bioparent has to either agree to give up rights or not add an opinion at all for the step parent to be able to adopt. You will more than likely need to prove that bm has been absent to. The judge will want to know why you want to mom rather than bm being mom.

I have never done it or thought about doing it but I do know friends who have done it.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:14 AM


If she has only seen her daughter twice in two years and never calls, why do you need to "get rid" of her? If she's not around anyway, what's the problem?

Quoting katie1426:


Can I get rid of this nasty bitch?



DeliteCrazy
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:16 AM
You do realize that if she's served papers, she may decide to be involved.

Just leave it alone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:18 AM


What does this mean? 

Quoting katie1426:


 My ex WILL NOT talk to her, look at her, take any contact from her whenever it is (every 6-16 months) that she does actually try to pretend to be a human for a minute & remembers that she HAS a child.

kristinbugg
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Well.

You can't FORCE BM to give up rights. She hasn't abandoned the child.

Your husband refuses to communicate with BM about THEIR child.

You are FORCING BM to communicate with YOU. If she refuses, which she has EVERY right to do, you threaten to withhold her child.

You refer to the woman who gave birth to the child you CLAIM to love so much as a "nasty bitch".

This won't go well.
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:23 AM


I agree.

The healthiest thing for the child would be that the father put aside his resentment and start encouraging the mom to see her daughter more often. It sounds like he has been discouraging her from being involved.

Quoting kristinbugg:

Well.

You can't FORCE BM to give up rights. She hasn't abandoned the child.

Your husband refuses to communicate with BM about THEIR child.

You are FORCING BM to communicate with YOU. If she refuses, which she has EVERY right to do, you threaten to withhold her child.

You refer to the woman who gave birth to the child you CLAIM to love so much as a "nasty bitch".

This won't go well.



DeliteCrazy
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Hope this isn't another twisted Italian with Cajun spices bead maker.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kristinbugg
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:28 AM
Yes.

All Mom has to do is say that Dad and his wife are withholding the child because BM refuses to communicate with Dad's wife. No judge in their right mind will remove Mom's rights, so that SM can play "Mommy".

In fact, it may come back to haunt SM & Dad. Hopefully, BM is keeping documentation.


Quoting whatIknownow:


I agree.

The healthiest thing for the child would be that the father put aside his resentment and start encouraging the mom to see her daughter more often. It sounds like he has been discouraging her from being involved.


Quoting kristinbugg:

Well.



You can't FORCE BM to give up rights. She hasn't abandoned the child.



Your husband refuses to communicate with BM about THEIR child.



You are FORCING BM to communicate with YOU. If she refuses, which she has EVERY right to do, you threaten to withhold her child.



You refer to the woman who gave birth to the child you CLAIM to love so much as a "nasty bitch".



This won't go well.





whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 11:28 AM


nah, the cajun lady hated her SD. This one just hates the mom.

Quoting DeliteCrazy:

Hope this isn't another twisted Italian with Cajun spices bead maker.



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