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Calling all SM's!

Posted by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:30 PM
  • 57 Replies



Question: Did your husbands/SO ex keep the kids from him before you?




Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 109

View Results

Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if only you are willing to listen. - Jimmy Buffet
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:34 PM

hell no. she gave up custody... she would never have kept the kids from him. Too much work!

by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:37 PM

No. If anything, she was too "giving" as she would drop the kids off at his place on her time without first discussing with him if he'd be able to watch them or would be home.

by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:41 PM

Not before me, but after she got married she did.

To be fair, DH is currently keeping the kids from her.

by Ruby Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:43 PM

I voted no because he was allowed full access to ss once he was born

SD12 (who we all know isn't his bio kid) wasn't allowed to visit with DH for about 2 yrs total from the time BM got pregnant til SS was a little over 1 yrs of age. Then DH was allowed to have SD during the school year for weekends/holidays but then she wasn't allowed over during the summer.

Summer visits didn't start until after he and I were dating.

by Gold Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:49 PM

My DH became CP before I met him.  I had to answer "yes", however, because before then (and before me), she did keep the kids from him.  They were her leveraging tool of choice against him, his parents, and her own parents.  "Do what I want, or I'll take the kids away!"  Addict logic/manipulation. 

by on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:52 PM
Once. She kidnapped them on middle SS's birthday several years ago after asking DH if she could pick them up from school and take them out for a birthday dinner...just never returned...she hid out at a shelter for battered women that is a long term shelter to re-establish women and children who are victims of abuse. Men aren't allowed on property. DH could not get them. Took him a while to find them and start the legal process to get them back. They will not take single women. Truth was she was one the outs with flavor of the month and had no where to go and did not want to go to a traditional shelter. She also got financial grant there and for each kid, she got more grant money...before DH completed the legal process to get the kids back, the kids let it slip they had been living with daddy and had been taken...they were all kicked out...she had no choice...returned them to DH, moved onto a friend's couch and back to court DH went...ever since then...4 days a month and one month in the summer if she takes it. She agreed in mediation before it went to the judge...the judge basically told her with her history she better mediate, it would not be good for her if she appeared before her, she was tired of her wasting the her courts time. And since, she has never actually taken her full time...and never does a thing outside of her time or pay a fine of the ordered support. That move of taking the kids and hiding them has always mystified me. It was a very desperate act, unstable, and why every weekend she actually does take them the PU is nerve wracking...we will NEVER trust again. Once bitten...
by Platinum Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:11 PM

BM willingly left SD with DH when SD was born. BM walked, and saw SD a few minutes here or there, but wasn't a solid part of her life.

Once BM found out DH and I were getting married things changed drastically and she wanted another chance with DH. He said no (obviously). A month after we were married DH let BM take SD for the day, and BM moved 300+ miles away and refused to let DH have any contact. DH knew BM was with her mom, but couldn't prove it, as it came down to his word versus BM's mom's towards the police when he tried to serve BM custody papers (prior to this time there was no CO, VERY stupid on DH's part). DH had to hire a PI, and the PI found BM living with her mom. By the time they went to court, it was 2 full months.

Since a CO has been put into place BM has no kept SD from DH. 

by Gold Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:23 PM
Yes. For 6 months. But him getting to see SD didn't have anything to do with me coming along. It was just the timing of their legal process.
by Bronze Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:26 PM

Yes, for a short period, but he had already resolved that issue before I came on the scene....  

And considering how my ex is, if HE could resolve that issue, it really makes me wonder about some other guys...  

by Brandi on Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:28 PM

no, my dh had custody before we got together, she did however not see her kids for years and blamed me for that.

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