Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Just needed to vent

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:37 PM
  • 23 Replies

Sooooo, SD is sick. SO brought her to urgent care yesterday because she was complaining of a sore throat and ear ache. She is running fevers and coughing. Runny nose. The whole shebang.. Poor kid.They put her on antibiotics.

SO did not inform BM right away. He thought about it while he was out getting the meds for SD then it slipped his mind again. Not justifying it. He should have told her when he was bringing her .

BM bitches up a storm all last night about him not informing her. Don't blame her. I would have been pissed too.  The text messages went on until he ignored her. it's unfortunate but I can't change their relationship.

This is my frustration... BM texts me and SO this morning about a dental appointment for SD next week. Then proceeds to text SO all day arguing about visitation for next week. (I have no idea why and I don't care. ) but she never once asked how SD was feeling. Not once!!!! 

I don't get it!! She was texting him all day!! How hard is it to throw in a how does she feel? Especially, after bitching because she wasn't immediately informed. It's so frustrating to me that she can text SO all day and never ask about her daughter.

by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:37 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Ok devils advocate kind of. Now I'm not excusing her at all. But she's pissed. What she should do is just let it go. She's told him that she's pissed he knows. He gets it. Maybe. But she is mad and she wants to fight. I felt this way the other day. My ex did multiple things that sent me over the edge in to a frenzy and ruined my evening. Of course I've gotten to a point where he won't ever know when he pisses me off. I never tell him. But I had a million things I wanted to say to him with a lot of bad words and then I had the urge to point out ALL of his failures in life. It was the anger I felt. I was so mad!! But... I've grown in my divorced years and I know spinning my wheels on him would just fall on deaf ears. If I were his wife I could cuss him and maybe even slap him but I'm not anymore so I can't share my emotions with him. I believe from experience what she is doing is engaging in fighting because she is pissed and hasn't found her self control yet. He needs to just ignore her. Not respond at all. Yes she will get even more pissed but by even responding once he is feeding her. What slapped me in to place many years ago was my ex saying ONE time to me... I will not accept anymore texts from you tonight. As long as you are going to talk to me like this.. I will not communicate with you by text. And yeah it pissed me off even more but I stopped. Eventually. And I've never texted him again in 7 years lol I'm not saying she will never txt him again especially if that is how they communicate but he needs to set a boundary and be consistent with her. She's pissed and rightfully so but she really needs to learn to control herself.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
amonkeymom
by Amy on Nov. 4, 2013 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Poor SD.  

So, I'll ask.... how is she feeling?  Any better?

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 10:33 PM
dont feel bad-bm does the same thing to us when the skids are sick
Boobear110
by Audra on Nov. 4, 2013 at 11:40 PM

No, she's not.. Looks like ,if the fever doesn't break, a trip to the Doctors tomorrow 


Quoting amonkeymom:

Poor SD.  

So, I'll ask.... how is she feeling?  Any better?


Boobear110
by Audra on Nov. 4, 2013 at 11:43 PM

This is all true but my frustration was in her not even asking about SD through all the texts that were sent. 

I agree that she should be mad at him for not telling her right away. I told him I don't blame her. 

Quoting momof2ex1:

Ok devils advocate kind of. Now I'm not excusing her at all. But she's pissed. What she should do is just let it go. She's told him that she's pissed he knows. He gets it. Maybe. But she is mad and she wants to fight. I felt this way the other day. My ex did multiple things that sent me over the edge in to a frenzy and ruined my evening. Of course I've gotten to a point where he won't ever know when he pisses me off. I never tell him. But I had a million things I wanted to say to him with a lot of bad words and then I had the urge to point out ALL of his failures in life. It was the anger I felt. I was so mad!! But... I've grown in my divorced years and I know spinning my wheels on him would just fall on deaf ears. If I were his wife I could cuss him and maybe even slap him but I'm not anymore so I can't share my emotions with him. I believe from experience what she is doing is engaging in fighting because she is pissed and hasn't found her self control yet. He needs to just ignore her. Not respond at all. Yes she will get even more pissed but by even responding once he is feeding her. What slapped me in to place many years ago was my ex saying ONE time to me... I will not accept anymore texts from you tonight. As long as you are going to talk to me like this.. I will not communicate with you by text. And yeah it pissed me off even more but I stopped. Eventually. And I've never texted him again in 7 years lol I'm not saying she will never txt him again especially if that is how they communicate but he needs to set a boundary and be consistent with her. She's pissed and rightfully so but she really needs to learn to control herself.


momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 12:54 AM
But that is my point. She can't see through her anger. He controlled a situation and she felt excluded... Right or wrong - to me that part doesn't even matter. She's so mad she can't even see through the thick of it to the important aspect - her daughter. Like I said - not excusing her at all - just maybe giving you a birds eye view in to maybe the why. Of course I don't know her I can only speak from my experience.


Quoting Boobear110:

This is all true but my frustration was in her not even asking about SD through all the texts that were sent. 

I agree that she should be mad at him for not telling her right away. I told him I don't blame her. 

Quoting momof2ex1:

Ok devils advocate kind of. Now I'm not excusing her at all. But she's pissed. What she should do is just let it go. She's told him that she's pissed he knows. He gets it. Maybe. But she is mad and she wants to fight. I felt this way the other day. My ex did multiple things that sent me over the edge in to a frenzy and ruined my evening. Of course I've gotten to a point where he won't ever know when he pisses me off. I never tell him. But I had a million things I wanted to say to him with a lot of bad words and then I had the urge to point out ALL of his failures in life. It was the anger I felt. I was so mad!! But... I've grown in my divorced years and I know spinning my wheels on him would just fall on deaf ears. If I were his wife I could cuss him and maybe even slap him but I'm not anymore so I can't share my emotions with him. I believe from experience what she is doing is engaging in fighting because she is pissed and hasn't found her self control yet. He needs to just ignore her. Not respond at all. Yes she will get even more pissed but by even responding once he is feeding her. What slapped me in to place many years ago was my ex saying ONE time to me... I will not accept anymore texts from you tonight. As long as you are going to talk to me like this.. I will not communicate with you by text. And yeah it pissed me off even more but I stopped. Eventually. And I've never texted him again in 7 years lol I'm not saying she will never txt him again especially if that is how they communicate but he needs to set a boundary and be consistent with her. She's pissed and rightfully so but she really needs to learn to control herself.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 5, 2013 at 4:27 AM

The urgent care appointment was not a good thing to forget. No arguing about that. An apology and a 'it won't happen again' should fix it. Of course, your husband needs to stick to it, too. Sounds like BM is using this incident to stir up all kinds of shit at the cost of the child. I am wondering if there are other massive issues since she does not bother to ask about her child's well-being. SDs BM is the same way. It's sad but there is nothing I can do. Some people cannot put their children and their needs before their own. 

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 7:55 AM

Don't accept texts from BM. Tell her to contact your boyfriend only. If he needs you to do a favor for him, he will ask you himself.

And, why do you care whether she asks how her daughter is? Apparently she got the information she wanted through the various texts. Why would you be "frustrated" about that? It's really not your business.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2013 at 7:56 AM


Why? why on earth would you care that she didn't ask how SD is?? Why are you involving yourself in this?

Quoting Boobear110:

This is all true but my frustration was in her not even asking about SD through all the texts that were sent. 

Boobear110
by Audra on Nov. 5, 2013 at 9:16 AM

 I'm projecting how I would be if it was my child onto her . I know it's not right. I know it's not my concern.. I really do. Yet the feelings are still there. 

Im working on it. 

Quoting whatIknownow:


Why? why on earth would you care that she didn't ask how SD is?? Why are you involving yourself in this?

Quoting Boobear110:

This is all true but my frustration was in her not even asking about SD through all the texts that were sent. 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured