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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

I need help :(

Posted by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:04 AM
  • 25 Replies
I have three step-daughters, I have been in their lives for two years now, at first we got along really great with very little problems but lately all three of the girls have been making up story's about me ranging from how I act to things they say I've said. They have said all these things to their bio-mom who used to believe me and back is up but now all she does is get angry asking me question like why did you say this or why did you do that but when I tell her what really happened or what was really says she doesn't believe me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do I love my step-kids and try to always be fair to them and my own kids.....
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
daddysgf
by and that's all on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:06 AM

My advice:
Stop interacting with Mom.
Stop disciplining your SKIDs.
If it gets to be too bad, disengage from SKIDS.

What does your DH say? 

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:08 AM

What stories are they making up? 

Emileelocklin
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:26 AM
What does DH stand for? I don't discipline the skids I used to separate them when they would fight but I don't even bother anymore. I have stopped talking to bio but when she has questions if I don't reply to her it makes her even more mad?


Quoting daddysgf:

My advice:
Stop interacting with Mom.
Stop disciplining your SKIDs.
If it gets to be too bad, disengage from SKIDS.

What does your DH say? 


Emileelocklin
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:37 AM
I'll give you an example of one that just was said a couple of days ago... Bio mom texted me saying one girl said she is afraid to wear white pants cause Ms.Emilee said it doesn't look good on her skin, I reply to that saying I have never said something like that the only thing I've ever said was she couldn't wear black with brown cause her daddy doesn't like that never that it didn't look good on her or her skin. That's just one thing there's always something being said about me. I feel like I've been shutting down toward them and that is something I don't want to do but know matter what I do to show them that I love them or want to have fun with them they always have something negative to say :(


Quoting whatIknownow:

What stories are they making up? 


soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:41 AM

How old is the girl?

Quoting Emileelocklin:

I'll give you an example of one that just was said a couple of days ago... Bio mom texted me saying one girl said she is afraid to wear white pants cause Ms.Emilee said it doesn't look good on her skin, I reply to that saying I have never said something like that the only thing I've ever said was she couldn't wear black with brown cause her daddy doesn't like that never that it didn't look good on her or her skin. That's just one thing there's always something being said about me. I feel like I've been shutting down toward them and that is something I don't want to do but know matter what I do to show them that I love them or want to have fun with them they always have something negative to say :(


Quoting whatIknownow:

What stories are they making up? 



jlg12678
by Gold Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:45 AM

My advice? Stop interacting with bm. That means all calls/complaints/craziness gets handled by your husband.

Let your husband handle her and let him handle the things the kids are saying. Honestly, if they are causing this much of an issue he needs a sit down to see what is going on with them.

Emileelocklin
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:46 AM
10


Quoting soonergirl980:

How old is the girl?

Quoting Emileelocklin:

I'll give you an example of one that just was said a couple of days ago... Bio mom texted me saying one girl said she is afraid to wear white pants cause Ms.Emilee said it doesn't look good on her skin, I reply to that saying I have never said something like that the only thing I've ever said was she couldn't wear black with brown cause her daddy doesn't like that never that it didn't look good on her or her skin. That's just one thing there's always something being said about me. I feel like I've been shutting down toward them and that is something I don't want to do but know matter what I do to show them that I love them or want to have fun with them they always have something negative to say :(





Quoting whatIknownow:

What stories are they making up? 





OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Ignore their mom. There is no reason to respond to her text unless it's an emergency. If u have to, block her from your phone. If their mom has concerns, let your husband talk to her. Don't try to reason or argue with her. That is ridiculous that she is texting you about the color of pants.
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Kids are masters at playing one side off another for attention.  You don't have to play along. 

If I were you, I'd quit engaging BM.  If she texts you, "DD1 said you told her xyz," then it is fair to confront your SD1 about what she told her mother.  But I would not allow an argument to develop between you and BM.

DDDaysh
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:48 AM

If Dad doesn't like it, have Dad tell her from now on.  

Quoting Emileelocklin:

I'll give you an example of one that just was said a couple of days ago... Bio mom texted me saying one girl said she is afraid to wear white pants cause Ms.Emilee said it doesn't look good on her skin, I reply to that saying I have never said something like that the only thing I've ever said was she couldn't wear black with brown cause her daddy doesn't like that never that it didn't look good on her or her skin. That's just one thing there's always something being said about me. I feel like I've been shutting down toward them and that is something I don't want to do but know matter what I do to show them that I love them or want to have fun with them they always have something negative to say :(


Quoting whatIknownow:

What stories are they making up? 



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