It seems that SS is always getting sick on BM's time. While some of it has been serious, I think some of the time it's just because she's more prone to medicate than DH (please note : that's not a bash).
Over a year ago, SS came down with an ear infection. The symptom (a minor ear ache - SS said it was annoying, but it didn't really hurt) started an hour before BM picked SS up. The night the symptoms got worse. BM texted DH telling him that she was going to have to take off work to take SS to the doctor in the morning, and that it wasn't fair that she was always having to miss work because SS was always getting sick on her time. She said she was going to get fired for the amount of time she has to take off.
DH and I did recognize that it seemed like SS was always getting sick at BM's and we agreed that it wasn't fair that she was always missing work. I didn't have anything to do the next day, so I offered to take SS to the doctor. At first, BM seemed okay with it. We worked out all the details - I would come pick him up early in the morning before her shift started and she'd come pick him up from me as soon as she got out of work. I work up early that morning and had a text that basically said - "I'm his mom. I'll take him." It was no biggie. She took him.
Just recently, SS got an eraser stuck in his ear. It was during DH's time, but the school called BM first. BM didn't call us (she called me first because I was supposed to pick SS up from school) until after she'd taken off work, picked SS up, and taken him to the doctor. That was fine, but multiple times BM complained about having to take off work to go get him and wait at Urgent Care. She kept in contact with me while they were at Urgent Care, and said they might have to make an appointment with an ear specialist to get it out. Again, she mentioned she would have to miss work. I offered to take him to the specialist (the next day). BM seemed okay with it, but before we got off the phone said she would handle it. No problem. (They actually ended up getting the eraser out so it was a non-issue anyways.)
Yesterday, BM texted DH to tell him that SS was super sick and she kept him home from school. She again complained to him that she had to miss work to stay home with him and it wasn't fair that she was constantly missing work. DH mentioned it to me and I told him I would be home all day today, and I was available to watch SS if BM needed to go to work. She told DH that SS was "her son and she could take care of him."
I guess I don't get what's going on. Is it wrong to volunteer to watch SS or take him to the doctor? I'm not angry that BM doesn't take me up on the offer; in fact, I enjoy the downtime. I just don't get why she constantly complains about having to miss work, only to act offended (or like I'm trying to ‘out mom' her) when I offer to take/watch SS.