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BM SUCKS!

Posted by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:12 PM
  • 338 Replies
1 mom liked this

I can't stand the woman, I really can't. I would like to have some kind of respectable relationship with her for the kids' sake, but she makes sure that is in no way possible. Both of the boys know how to play everyone and because of that I can barely stand them either. I don't know how to like being a SM anymore, I liked it when they were little, but the more time goes on, the more difficult it is to care about these children. I have 2 little girls that I need to be a good parent to and it's hard because I feel like I'm always frustrated with these 2 others and their mother. Because of this woman, our family has had to be involved with Social Services way too much, and because of their involvement, the boys have learned how to manipulate adults and I HATE it! Social Services came up with the idea that our two households should just deal with problems seperately and because of that, the kids are never held accountable for their actions at the other house. So when the kids are about to go to their mothers house, they act like little sh**s and I strongly believe that it's because they know that their mother will not hold them accountable for what they did at our house. It really SUCKS! I told my husband that if they do highly unacceptable stuff at her house, I don't care what she does about it, I will hold them responsible here, because I will not feed into these kids thinking that there are things they won't get punished for. Grrr!! I could go on and on, but I don't want people to see a huge written piece and move away from it because it's too long to read. I guess this is all I'll write for now. Thanks for reading my vent have a good night 

by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this
While I understand your frustration, clinging on to hate just makes it worse.
kristinbugg
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:24 PM
Your husband and the children's mother need to be the ones to decide how to discipline THEIR children.
lovelymomma87
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:32 PM
4 moms liked this

1. I don't hate her, detest, strongly dislike, despise, those yes, hate, no.

2. Well, as I stated, SHE DOESN"T discipline her children, that's the problem. She does a halfway effort to teach them right and wrong when she does decide to discipline.  And due to that crappy parenting job, my husband and I are the only adults to show them how to be respectable people.  Just a shot in the dark, but are you by chance a BioMom, Kristinbugg? Or are you a StepMom that has the good fortune to be with a man who is able to co-parent with his kids' mother?

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:38 PM

I'm a mom only, not a SM and I believe it is between the parents to discipline their children.  Kristen is a SM.  You don't have to agree with how mom raises or kids or if she teaches her kids your idea of right and wrong, but it is her choice.  That is what social services told you.

howkhuntastic
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:43 PM
I have the same issues with my two ss's mom, except she tells them to misbehave because I'm nothing, or fills their heads with garbage. Poor kids are messed up in the head and want nothing to do with her since she is on drugs now. I have no advice i wish it was easier to be a SM.
progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:47 PM
Focusing on how much you detest, strongly dislike, and despise her only makes it worse.

Just let it go. Let dad handle his kids and focus on yours.


Quoting lovelymomma87:

1. I don't hate her, detest, strongly dislike, despise, those yes, hate, no.

2. Well, as I stated, SHE DOESN"T discipline her children, that's the problem. She does a halfway effort to teach them right and wrong when she does decide to discipline.  And due to that crappy parenting job, my husband and I are the only adults to show them how to be respectable people.  Just a shot in the dark, but are you by chance a BioMom, Kristinbugg? Or are you a StepMom that has the good fortune to be with a man who is able to co-parent with his kids' mother?

lovelymomma87
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:02 PM
1 mom liked this

No, Social Services told us that because they were sick of her fighting us, making stuff up and the kids making stuff up to try to get me and my husband in trouble. It's not about teaching them "my" version of anything, adult are responsible for these kids and if 1 is dropping the ball, then someon needs to pick up the slack. I respect your opinion, however, you're not a SM, you have no idea, unless you have a SM, what this is like.

Quoting packermom4ever:

I'm a mom only, not a SM and I believe it is between the parents to discipline their children.  Kristen is a SM.  You don't have to agree with how mom raises or kids or if she teaches her kids your idea of right and wrong, but it is her choice.  That is what social services told you.


kristinbugg
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:06 PM
I recently adopted my SDs. Their mother is still involved, so, at this point, I consider myself SM.

Anyway.

How BM chooses to discipline, or NOT discipline, HER children is not YOUR business. Social Services has already made that clear to you. You are attempting to interfere in something that just isn't any of your concern.


Quoting lovelymomma87:

1. I don't hate her, detest, strongly dislike, despise, those yes, hate, no.

2. Well, as I stated, SHE DOESN"T discipline her children, that's the problem. She does a halfway effort to teach them right and wrong when she does decide to discipline.  And due to that crappy parenting job, my husband and I are the only adults to show them how to be respectable people.  Just a shot in the dark, but are you by chance a BioMom, Kristinbugg? Or are you a StepMom that has the good fortune to be with a man who is able to co-parent with his kids' mother?


kristinbugg
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Your husband, the children's father, needs to be the one to "pick up the slack" where HIS children are concerned.


Quoting lovelymomma87:

No, Social Services told us that because they were sick of her fighting us, making stuff up and the kids making stuff up to try to get me and my husband in trouble. It's not about teaching them "my" version of anything, adult are responsible for these kids and if 1 is dropping the ball, then someon needs to pick up the slack. I respect your opinion, however, you're not a SM, you have no idea, unless you have a SM, what this is like.

Quoting packermom4ever:

I'm a mom only, not a SM and I believe it is between the parents to discipline their children.  Kristen is a SM.  You don't have to agree with how mom raises or kids or if she teaches her kids your idea of right and wrong, but it is her choice.  That is what social services told you.



lovelymomma87
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:21 PM
8 moms liked this

It IS my business when these children live in MY home. I have 2 other children to look after and if these children are doing things that could possibly harm MY BIO-Children, then how they are being raised is MOST DEFINITELY my business. You have no idea what Social Services intentions were, you weren't there. They didn't put what happens at each house remains at that house because of me trying to control her parenting, they said something stupid in a high tense situation. Wouldn't you want to rules to apply across the board if you and your ex had to raise your child outside of being in a relationship? Don't you believe in consistancy? Social Services giving that advice was one of the WOST things that was forced upon us, because it removed the consistancy from the childrens life and gave BM a reason to be a crappy mom. People thinking that it's okay for people to screw their kids up is ridiculous, just because they birthed them, doesn't give them a reason to be bad parents.

Quoting kristinbugg:

I recently adopted my SDs. Their mother is still involved, so, at this point, I consider myself SM.

Anyway.

How BM chooses to discipline, or NOT discipline, HER children is not YOUR business. Social Services has already made that clear to you. You are attempting to interfere in something that just isn't any of your concern.


Quoting lovelymomma87:

1. I don't hate her, detest, strongly dislike, despise, those yes, hate, no.

2. Well, as I stated, SHE DOESN"T discipline her children, that's the problem. She does a halfway effort to teach them right and wrong when she does decide to discipline.  And due to that crappy parenting job, my husband and I are the only adults to show them how to be respectable people.  Just a shot in the dark, but are you by chance a BioMom, Kristinbugg? Or are you a StepMom that has the good fortune to be with a man who is able to co-parent with his kids' mother?



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